dealing with regret

Originally Posted By emilylets see. here is my dilemma. i placed my daughter for adoption about five months ago. i spent half my pregnancy trying to convince my mother and the b-father to help me raise my daughter, i continually met with resistance. I spent the other half trying to convince myself that adoption was a good idea. i was never totally sold on either idea. in the end i went with adoption. i think there were several unconscious motives coming in to play here. i have come to realize that i am a pleaser, i am not used to disappointing people and so adoption was a way to enoble myself, a way to redeem myself. i "did the right thing" as it is all i have ever known to do, and it has worked for me so many times in the past, in a lot of ways it is who i am, the good girl. it was also a way to cope with my pregnancy, the thought of motherhood let alone single motherhood made me panick, and i never really allowed myself to see myself in that role. so i arranged an open adoption with a couple that i have tons of respect and love for. part of what comforted me was that i was helping them to make a family, their gratitude fueled my ability to give up my daughter to them. sick as it sounds, i think this was largely the case. i also think that in arranging an open adoption i was under the idea that i wasn't really losing my daughter, i would know her and she would know me, and love me hopefully. and i always thought that i'd have that experience, of carrying her and giving birth to her, and her a-mom would never have that, and so in some ways i made my decision out of pity also, for because she would never know the joy of feeling her child swim within her womb. at least i'd have that, and at the time that was enough for me. since then my daughter's a-mom has become pregnant. this has opened my eyes to alot of my motivations because her pregnancy bothers me. it negates my huge sacrifice in a lot of ways, not to them, but to myself. in light of my new self-enlightenment i have been toying with the idea of contesting the adoption which is not final yet, though i have signed relinquishment papers. i could claim they were under duress as my caseworker was leaving for vacation the next day and so i felt pressure to sign them that day. my question is, how common is this desire to disrupt the adoption? Do you know if it is even possible to do so at this late stage? what ill effects would it have on our daughter? what do you think about all of this? can you give me some feedback on my situation? i am really just floundering for something, i don't know what. anything would be appreciated. thanks.