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We are adopting a close family member's child. We have had her most of her life due to parental neglect (very long story). My questions are: My nephew (bdad)is constantly telling his mom that he wants to participate in our daughter's life, I have a great relationshiip with him, but when he is around, he wants nothing to do with the child. He will initially hug her and always wants to show her off to all of his friends, basically bragging about how cute she is and how cute her clothes are (I buy all her necessities and always have). When he is around his friends, he calls himself "Daddy" and talks about her as if he is raising her. He doesn't even live in the same state and after he shows her off, he gives her back to me and leaves for the evening--he does not spend any time with her! He did not send a birthday gift or give her a Christmas gift, he does not even ask about her when her calls every Sunday. Is this typical?
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Originally Posted By aparentSounds familiar. We are not related to our child's bmom, but you just described a situation similar to ours. I sometimes think that she makes it sound to her friends like we are family friends who are just "helping out" with her child or something. When we have been out in public in the past, she has wanted to push the stroller, feed the baby, etc., which is fine, but she starts talking to me as if I were a nanny. Though we talked about what we would all be called ahead of time, she refers to herself as "momma". Right now, we have no idea where she is and have not seen her in months. There are no easy answers. Just know you are not alone. I just tell myself that her "showing off" for her friends is a function of her immaturity and the only way she can feel good about herself. I can give her that, I guess, but the "mama" thing was getting in the way of my relationship with her, so I told her straight out. She still "slips up" occasionally, but it is a little better. Hang in there. These situations are never easy.
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