open adoption

Originally Posted By HopeWe have a beautiful daughter who is 14 months whom we adopted through an open adoption. We have contact with her birthmother and family as well as her birthfathers family. We corresponde through mail as well as have occasional meetings. We would love to share our experiences with you or answer any questions.

Hi, Thanks for responding. Could we email back and forth? I am not very good at these message boards. We are hopefully adopting twins in June or July when they are born. The mother is very nice, a little immature at 21 but all in all a good person. What did you do to get yourself through the waiting period? We are nervous wrecks. I guess that is the price you pay when you don't use an agency. Did you have the state do your homestudy or did you use a private agency or social worker? We had a mom change her mind last year a week before she delivered. We were heartbroken. The mom of the twins knows what we went through and said she would never put us through that, we just have to believe and pray hard. My email is:brucedenisetufts@prodigy.net. I hope it will be OK to email back and forth for you. Denise

Originally Posted By VictoriaHello, my name is Victoria and I am a Birthmother. My daughter Cierra Danelle will be two in May, anyway I have a close and Open relationship with my daughters parents when I was pregnant with her they were heven sent they say instead of me giving her up they say that we are sharing her. I love being part of my daughters life but yet I know not to abuse it either I only go Once a month unless a special occasion happens but to everyone who has questions about open adoption please e-mail me and I will answer as best as I can. Victoria

Originally Posted By TerriHello, I am new online and trying to find a place where I can find information for our adopted daughters adoption celebration that will be on June 3rd.We have been told that it could be a very beautiful celebration for our new daughter and would love to have some ideas from you.I am looking for poems or a story to be read during the celebration, please contact me if you have any information that could benefit our special occasion. Thanks so much,Terri

Originally Posted By Beth AnnWe have a very open adoption. Our son's birth mother lived with us for 2 months before he was born and for 2 weeks after. We were blessed to be invited to be in the delivery room when he was born. We send her flowers every year on his birth day just to tell her thank you again. We feel that our son's birth mother and her family are an extended part of our family. We are still in touch and like to know that she is doing well. I think that it really helps the birth mothers to know the family and feel in their hearts that they have done a very special thing.Take care,Beth Ann

Originally Posted By carolI am very close to making an open adoption with a birth mother who I used to know long ago. Both parents are in jail do adoption is not really their first choice. The mother says that she understands what is going on but I wonder if she really just wants access to the child. I want my life back. I have been doing things for her etc, that she cannot do in jail. That is how this came about in the first place. It looks like they will loose all their kids. How can I be sure she really understands? When she talks to me it sounds OK but when she talks to the lawyer it sounds like she wants much more involvement. We do not have a lot in common so this isn't acceptabel to me. I know I am babbling. But I am desperate and confused. SOme people I know think it is too great a risk. Other think that it was "meant to be"....n

Originally Posted By AlisonI am brand new to this message board. I just wanted to respond to Beth who has an open adoption with her son's birthmother and the birth family. I am a birthmom, and I too have an open adoption with my daughter and her family. It is wonderful, so joyful, positive and loving, and I have been wanting to find other families with open adoptions to share with. We too all consider ourselves family. It grieves me so much to hear about all the closed adoptions out there. If you have an open adoption experience you would like to share, I would love to hear from you! I could go on forever...Alison

Originally Posted By Ed & MichelleMy wife and I are planning to adopt. We have never done this before but are looking forward to it. We are so excited. We have known the birthmother for some time. The only problem is see is in a different State than us. If anyone has ANY advice for us I would greatly appreiciate it.

Originally Posted By LauraMy daughter is almost 4 years old. We adopted her using the open method. I was blessed to be able to be there when she was born, and bring her straight home from the hospital. I've actually had some difficulty with the birth grandmother wanting to be too involved in our daughters life. We maintain an open adoption relationship with the birthmother, but did not count on the problems associated with the birth grandparents. Our daughter is the center of our lives, and sometimes I wish I did not have to tell her or anyone else that she is adopted. We know however, that that is the correct thing to do. When we first brought her home the birthmother and birth grandparents wanted to be with us constantly. This was very difficult at times. We felt that our promise was to the birthmother and not her whole family when we pursued this adoption. Time has a way of taking care of things. Her birthgrandmother wanted a close normal relationship with our daughter and even though I felt obligated it got to a point that was almost smothering. We wanted the perfect situation for our child. We thought that the more people who loved her the better off she would be. Reality has other ideas. We had some rough bumps. Right now her birthmother(of her own choosing) has not seen her in over a year. Her birthgrandmother has not seen her since January. This has actually worked out better for us this way. It's very difficult to share the most important person in your life with another family that has different ideas, viewpoints,etc., on life. We wanted to encompass them ,but found it to be too chaotic. I revere those of you who found a way to make it work, but it is not for everybody. We think it is best that it worked out this way. Less stress all around. I keep in touch with her birth family(they live an hour away). Mostly to make sure everyone is O.K. The birthmother had another child 18 months after the birth of our daughter. She decided to keep him. I don't know how I'm going to explain all this to my daughter, but I hope with the love we share it will work out as it is meant to be.

My boyfriend and I have been together 7 years and we are getting married next Aug. A 22 yo girl moved into our home as a roommate. At the time of the move we were unaware that she was pregnant. Turns out that she is thinking about adoption. She has become a very good friend and I would like to adopt this child. Of course it would be an open adoption. Does anyone have any suggestions or any advice? Please email me. Thank you.