Advertisements
Advertisements
Originally Posted By sandi to marci o.
To marcie and all amothers,
I cant't speak for all situations, only for my own. It really angers me to
know that an amother would turn an open adoption into
a closed one for no apparent reason! If you amothers
could only understand how hard it is to place a baby
that you carried for 9 months into the arms of complete
strangers because you know at that time in your life
this couple can give your baby a better life, then mabey after an adoption is final you amothers would
think twice before you just cut all connections with
a bmother. I have never harrased my daughters aparents
and now I feel I was never apart of her birth. I feel
like Im being punished for giving her parents the chance to parent her. At least I have the faith that
she is loved and well taken care of. Hopefully one day
she will understand that pictures and letters is what
helps a bmother get through the rest of her life without her child. Remember a bmother has feeling too!
Work something out. Bmothers are doing something very
hard and unselfish. their would be no adoptive mothers
if their was no birthmothers.(something to think about)
deeply hurt
sandi
Like
Share
Could not have said it better myself. to all aparents- try to imagine the pain birth parents go through. You can't, and never will be able too until you place your first born (or second, third etc in some cases) for adotion. don't cut contact. sometimes it's the only thing that keeps birth parents going at rough times. i couldn't wake up and go to work everyday not knowing how my daughter was doing. for adoptive parents, cut your arms and legs off, then you might just get the understanding of what some birth parents, especially birth mothers, feel after their child is placed. be a little more considerate. put yourself in the birthparents shoes.
i am birth mother, i am a woman, i am a lover, i am a nurse. That combination is deadly when it comes to empathy.
"The more I believe in Angels, the more I see them all around me."
Like
Share
Advertisements
I totally agree with both of these posts from bmoms.....I am an amom in an open adoption and have learned so much from speaking to bmoms and aparents. In a lot of cases, the aparents do cut off contact with bmom because they feel that the child becomes "theirs" . However, there are some extreme situations , and mine is one of them. I signed an open agreement with my child's bmom not knowing many things about her. I have since found out that she is emotionally unstable and possibly even dangerous. How do I deal with this? I am so afraid of the effects it may have on my child....I have not stopped the pictures and letters but am seriously contemplating ending all visitation . Any suggestions?
Like
Share
try visitation with the b-mom at the angecy or with whomever you did the adoption through. set a time to meet there and a time to leave and just hang out at this office or what not. also explain how contact and visitation at your home may not be an option at the moment. but don't cut everything. talk to her counselor/social worker or yours, if either of you have one, and explain how you feel. then talk to her about it. all with due time, as they say.
Like
Share