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Originally Posted By DanielleAbsolutely!! Let me explain why I feel so strongly. I am a child of a strongly closed adoption and not knowing my birthfather hurt. Not knowing my heritage and why my chin and eyes were different than my adoptive dads was hard. So when I was pregnant and gave my baby boy away 5 years ago, I had to have open adoption for my sake and his. What if he had a problem and needed a kidney? I wanted to be there for him. When the baby was 3 year the birth parents asked me not to have any contact with him. No letters I sent or pictures from me.... No phone calls.... nothing. I was upset and confused but they were his parents and knew best. Later I found out that it hurt the child thinking that I hated him.. didn't want to see him or love him. Now he is 6 and knows that I gave him up out of complete love for him and his parents. I am Danielle his birth mom and good friend. He knows where I live and that my favorite color is blue and that I was bad in school but good in sports like him and for him that is all he really wants to know for now. He is settled and happy. This is the way children should be. Open adoption is amazing!!
I totally agree! My bgrandson is in an open adoption and it's absolutely the best thing for the child. Never will he feel that his bfamily didn't want him...just the opposite. He is loved by so many people and will never wonder who he looks like, etc...His aparents even have a picture of my daughter & her boyfriend (the bfather) in his bedroom. They know that for him NOT to know his bfamily would not be in his best interest. I will never understand aparents who feel that open adoption isn't the best for the child.
Absolutely not. It may seem easier to the birthmother, though band-aid analogies come to mind, but it is not better for the child.Adoption is about finding families for children. Finding them caretakers while intruding on their lives for the duration of their childhoods insisting that they maintain 'relatioships' with people who are connected to them only by biology deprives them of a family.I was adopted and cannot imagine anything more awful.
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