Only child with adopted sister

Originally Posted By LIndaHi, I know just how y9ou feel, we have a 12 year old son, we are in the process of adopting a sweet little 3 year old girl from overseas, our son has stressed how he is not pleased by these turns of events, first he wanted a brother not sister, and now he's not sure about the whole thing at all, we took him out to a store in town that does air brushing and he picked the colors and style of matching shirts "Big Brother" for him and "Little Sister" for her...he seems to be adjusting and finally asking questions, I think he thought that he would have to be responsible for everything she says and does, we've repeatedly pointed out that his sister is just that, and not only will he not have to care for her, but he will have a friend that will be on his side the rest of his life, no matter what his sister will be his...I think its finally settling down, but we should leave in the next month or so and then who knows...Good Luck...

Originally Posted By BethI am 41 and have an only child--a 6-yr old boy. Like you, I wanted another child. My husband and I tried everything up to invitro (don't agree with it). After a few years of trying really hard, I found out I had a hormonal illness, which was making me very sick and causing the infertility. Although, I'm better now, so much time has gone by that I am not even sure getting pregnant (even if I could) would be smart, with all the hormonal problems I had for a good 5 years and my age. I question what that mix would breed. So, I'm considering adopting; just starting my research. Although I am not concerned about my boy accepting the idea of another child in the house (I think it would be the greatest thing for him and he would love it), I'm wondering if "I" will be able to adjust to having an infant again. Truth be told...my son started Kindergarten this year and the freedom is kind of nice. I've managed to get my fill of nurturing by teaching at a preschool. However, everytime a friend shows me her new baby, I get the itch. And, I still get jealous when I hear of others getting pregnant. I simply still LOVE holding those babies! Besides, I always wanted to give my son a brother or sister, and I feel deep down inside that everyone deserves at least one brother or sister. I had 2 sisters and they are invaluable to me. I'm pretty sure I would overcome any adjustment problems along the way, especially by knowing what a good thing I was doing for so many people (including myself).We sure do have a lot to think about. It's not an easy decision. I pray we do the best we can, no matter what happens. Good luck to you...--judy

Dear Beth,I also have an only child. She is only 4. My little girl on the other hand wants a sibling and it saddens me that i have not been able to provide her with one. We are experiencing secondary infertility as well. i wish you the best in whatever you choose to do and good luch in your decision. I will pray for you. Anonymous

Originally Posted By LaurieThink long and hard about adopting. If your child voices lack of interest or absolutely does not want to, don't!! You must take into consideration her needs and wants first. We adopted three sisters to add to our family. Our then 10 year old son was very excited and happy about it. Even so, it has been very hard at times. I don't think it would have worked if he would have said no from the beginning. In fact, we probably would not even had pursued the idea. Good luck to you.

Originally Posted By MaureenWe have alot in common. I am 47 years old, married and we have a bio. daughter who just turned 13. We also have a 12 month daughter from Vietnam whom we adopted in Oct. Our 13 year old had always wanted a younger sibling so accepting the changes in her life has been done without much compliant. And there have been lots of changes. But as the baby grows she has become more adaptable and life is taking on a new definition of normal. I too fret about our age but I try to think in terms of what we can offer a child compared to the life she may have had in an orphanage in VN. I don't know what to tell you in regards to your daughter. At age 8 she may adapt well too the new situation. We probably would not have adopted if our daughter was against it as she was almost 12 years when we advised her of our plans. She was jubuliant at frist but did have some concerns which we talked over. None of us can imagin not having our baby. Despite the age differences I beleive we have given each of our daughters the best gift we possibly could and that is to each we gave a sister!