Questions I should ask about a possible match

Read this - it may give you a peek into the future. [url]http://www.come-over.to/FAS/parentssee.htm[/url] To learn more about children who have been permanently disabled from prenatal exposure to drugs and/or alcohol sign up for a support group like [url]http://groups.yahoo.com/group/post-adopt[/url]

Since you don't have a lot of info I'd want to do/see the following: 1. Has there been a good evaluation by a developmental peditrician? If not, get one. 2. Has there been any neuropsychological testing? If not, get some. 3. An evaluation by a Physical Therapist who is also certified in Sensory-Integration. 4. What is the history of abuse or neglect? You need to know the details to assess to what extent the behavior is a refelction of trauma or some other factor. My website has links to some helpful information you may want to look at. [url]http://www.Center4FamilyDevelop.com[/url] Best regards

This is a list that I have compiled and shared with other 'to be adoptive parents'. I've been told that it has helped. I realize some of these may not be pertinent to a child as little as the one you have written about, but perhaps some will help. 1. # of placements child has had; how long they lasted, why they disrupted. (Ususally folks are uneasy to disclose the 'why'....but I'd really try to find out!) 2. Permission (and I've done this w/o permission too) to contact past foster parents. (This info can prove to be INVALUABLE...and most foster parents will gladly provide info as to the 'why') 3. "Why" didn't past foster parents adopt this child? 4. At what age was the child 'removed from the home'..what type of pre-natal care (especially drug use, etc), what's the situation with any sibs (adoption, prenatal drug use, residential care, etc.?) 5. What kind of medication is the child on NOW....and what types has the child been on previously? (Also, what types of diagnoses has this child been given in the past, by what type of professional (psychiatrist,psychologist, or your 'mental health counselor' who suspects something?) 6. What prompted termination? Did either parent voluntarily surrender and 'why'? Try to get the psychologicals on the birthparents. (In some places, this is a 'no-no'...but we've been given these before w/o asking. Many psychological traits have a genetic pre-disposition.) 7. Where are the biologicals now? Are there relatives in the area near you, and any chance they'll be a problem? 8. What kinds of hospitalization (especially ER) has this child had? tests, etc. If so, you'd like the paperwork! 9. What's this child been told about adoption? Does this child lament for his/her biologicals? 10. What type of relationship did this child have with birthparents? ie, was this child forced into being the 'parent' because parents were unable to be just that? Did this child have to take care of younger, older sibs? 11. How does this child perceive him/herself? Is she self-centered? Does she share well? (And I don't care how old the child is....this may still be a problem.) 12. Has or has this child EVER had a diagnoses of RAD (reactive attachment disorder)...or ANY type of attachment disorder? How has 'the system' helped this child deal with this? (Holdings, play therapy, etc.) 13. How long has this child been in therapy, and what types have been used? 14. Does this child act out sexually? If not now, EVER? And IF ever, how and how long since the last time? And...one of the most IMPORTANT questions we think you should ask YOURSELF: "If this child were to get NO better after being in our home, could we handle his/her behaviors 'just as they are, NOW'......as if there would be NO improvement, etc. I think this is important, as classes continually say that 'this child just needs some love and attention and permanancy, and you'll see how much improvement this child will make!!!" This DOESN'T ALWAYS happen, and is a point to consider when taking on special needs children. I hope this helps in some fashion. Sincerely, Linny