I was the product of rape

I've been where you are - and still deal with it daily. I've recently started blogging about my experiences, and it helps to get it all out. [url=http://productofrape.blogspot.com/]Diary of a Product of Rape[/url]

To "my motheresacrifice" Your story took my breath away. It illustrates how everything was done the "wrong" way--from your mother's illness in utero, to society's belief that disabled chidlren should be locked away, to the horror of rape and the unwillingness to prosecute fully, to the wrongheaded notion that adopted people should not be allowed to know thier own stories. but YOU made everything right, for yourself, for your mom, for your kids. I am amazed at your strength and grace and want to thank you for sharing your incredible story.

Portlowski thank you for the kind words, they hit me at a time when I really needed them, so thank you so much! I just try to know better and do better. I hope someday to be more involved with adoption and either write a book or work in a capacity to help others. TNH, I will have to check out your blog and would love to sometime chat with someone that can relate. I feel like we have a totally different set of adoption issues due to being a product of rape. Looking back I really wish I had started a blog, my life that past few years has been crazy it would have been a great outlet. I used to write but in the past year haven't had much time for that. Good luck on your own journey and take care. Amanda

Amanda - Thank you, thank you, thank you for viewing your mother as a real person, with real feelings and most importantly, real value as a person. I believe she knows how much you love and care for her as it comes through in your writing. I am somewhat familiar with Fairview and am so sorry that your mother had to spend time there. Growing up there was a neighbor family with a child who 'lived' there. I always saw such sadness in his eyes when he was home for a visit and the time to return grew near. Thank you for sharing your very difficult story.

After being reunited with my birth family, I was told I was a product of rape. When my mother told me, the first thing which came into my mind was, 'why would you want to see me?' Surely I would bring back all those bad memories. I even become disgusted with myself, for having my 'animal' father's DNA inside me. My biological brother and I have the same father, our father raped my mother to teach her a lesson, after I was born, my mother said she would take me for walks, and the local community would point at us and call me "the product" She decided the only way I could have a good life would be to place me for adoption. Her decision worked, my life was fairly good, and I was raised by good parents. I feel more sorry for her than myself. Not only was she raped, she also had to give her child up. She has suffered for her entire life. I'm now more at ease. I don't feel like a "product" I was an innocent victim as was my mother. No matter how a baby is conceived, a baby is still a human being and no birth mother will ever regret giving birth her baby.

Adopted-at-young, The unnecessary pain your family has had to deal with is horrible. I'm glad that you it sounds like have good experiences with your adopted family and may have been better of, but it is so sad that your bio mother was harrassed and that you didn't get to grow up with your bio brother. I'm glad you have found peace. One thing I look at is every day millions of woman in consensual relationships try to get pregnant, off those that do, so many of those pregnancies will end in miscarriage. I don't believe that God endorses evil men to bare children, but I do believe that he can make something good out of something bad. As in my case I am basically my birth mothers only family that cares about her, she is very petite, and has a sister that had a very difficult time bearing children due to environmental factors that probably also would have been true of my birth mother, so I do feel that it was in many ways a miracle that she was able to nurture me in her womb and for me to be born healthy. I strongly believe that God has a purpose for us children of rape. We are not "products", just children that were brought in this world under unusual circumstances. You are a blessing, and I'm sure your mother would never want to be raped, but I'm sure she is glad that you are here. I had worried that my family would see me as the horrible thing that was done to my mother, but oddly my adoptive mother/bio aunt, is the only one in my family that feels the whole thing is "horrible" and should not be discussed, where the rest of my family that she kept me away from out of fear they would tell me the truth all just see me for me, and are glad to have me in their family. I am sure your bio family see you as the blessing you are. Take care.

There was a movie on last night on the Lifetime Network called "Deep in My Heart", starring Anne Bancroft & Lynn Whitfield. It was based on the true story of a white woman that was raped by a black man in the early 60's and became pregnant. [URL="http://www.iwantandneedsex.com"]I Love Sex[/URL] :dance:

Hi. I'm 17 years old and have 2 month old daughter she is the best thing in my life. How she got here though not so good. I was raped in February of last year and had my daughter this previous November. Believe me i know how hard it is going to be to explain that her biological father is in prison because he hurt me. I didn't get out of bed for the longest time after it happened and when i found out i was pregnant many things went through my mind. I don't believe abortion and i almost did go with adoption but as i got closer to my due date especially when i found out i was having a girl it became easier for me to see that it wasn't my daughter's fault for coming into this world and i began to love her. The girl thing was because i thought would be easier to look at her and not see him and it is she looks me and you can't even he is her father. [ATTACH]87075[/ATTACH]

Hi. I'm 17 years old and have 2 month old daughter she is the best thing in my life. How she got here though not so good. I was raped in February of last year and had my daughter this previous November. Believe me i know how hard it is going to be to explain that her biological father is in prison because he hurt me. I didn't get out of bed for the longest time after it happened and when i found out i was pregnant many things went through my mind. I don't believe abortion and i almost did go with adoption but as i got closer to my due date especially when i found out i was having a girl it became easier for me to see that it wasn't my daughter's fault for coming into this world and i began to love her. The girl thing was because i thought would be easier to look at her and not see him and it is she looks me and you can't even he is her father. [ATTACH]87076[/ATTACH]

I am not sure if this will help, but I was looking through my parents files and papers and stumbled upon a letter from my brothers biological mother. I read it and in the letter it explained that she was raped and my brother was the result of it. It did also say she never wanted him to know. I was very close to my brother growing up and I love him so much. I was very close to my brother growing up and I was in shock. I hope one day they do reunite, I would love for her to see what an amazing person my brother turned out to be and I love her for choosing adoption, because I can't imagine my life without him.

I have similar conception circumstances and have the same feelings you mention in this section here. More than anything, I feel bad that in her case, she didn't have any control over what she went through at all. I so wish that had been different.Adopted-at-young, I'm glad you don't feel like a product. Conception circumstance does not determine who we are.

Oh my, who told you such a thing ? Even if that is the truth. Why would anyone reflect such sorrow ? For however you got here . It was /is God plan. Maybe because you adoptive parents prays were answered. Out of something bad that happen something beautiful and happiness came of it. God is smiling on you......... and you parents......

Hi Hope. I love your name, it says so much. As I've read through the comments, it is clear that bad can turn for good. Your birth and your life is the good that came from bad. Take a look at this adoptee who was conceived from rape:

HopeK, I see you have posted this years ago and I pray this message doesn’t go unnoticed for you or any other child or person who was the beautiful product of an awful experience. So here goes. I currently am 7 months pregnant with a beautiful baby boy who is in fact the product of rape. I struggled with finding out I was pregnant from this awful incident for months. Not only for what happened that night but now I have an innocent baby growing inside me whom I will have to make a hard decision to keep or find a loving family for. It was difficult up until a few months ago. I want you to know as a future birth mother in two months who conceived a baby through rape, I love this little boy with everything in my heart. I have 3 children already and this precious baby shares the same love I give them. I sing to him nightly, talk crazy just as I did the other 3 when he gives me a hard jab in the ribs, talk to him as if he knows just what mommy is saying and I love him with every beat of my heart. I love him so much that I found a beautiful family for him to protect him, love him just as I do and one that can (without any doubt) give him everything he needs and wants to grow into a beautiful person. With what happened that scary night to me then immediately finding out I was pregnant I have not yet had a moment to heal from that mentally, it has been put on the back burner so I can have a stress free pregnancy as much as possible so this little guy growing inside me isn’t affected. I have fear though after he is born that all the emotions and scars from that night will come flooding in at what should be a happy time. So that’s where I came to the decision that I don’t want my innocent baby whom I love just as my own to be affected any way from that. I also want (as any mother would) to protect him from any ugly in the world as much as I can. I just hope and pray in the future when he finds out the truth of how he was conceived that he will know while he was in my womb he was loved so dearly that his mommy and mommy’s family all want to have him grow to be the best person he can be without hindrance. I pray for you hun and I can only hope you do know you being here on this earth to this day is in fact not because you are a product of rape, but because, just as my baby is, walking this earth because you are a product of love. As a birth momma I want you to know I have so much love for this fat boy inside me that I’m making the hardest decision a mother can and I am ensuring a better life than I may or may not be able to provide. As I’m sure your birth momma felt as well. We didn’t abort because you both are innocent and by all means you are not the definition of how you were conceived. You both are blessings god gave us out of a horrible tragedy, maybe even a way of god telling us to stand back up from that and keep moving because now we have a life inside us depending on us to be healthy and ok. I know how far I could have spiraled in my life and knowing and feeling this little boy inside me growing has made everyday easier to stay ok. That is just my thoughts to you hun and for any other blessing created from a dark time. You all are living proof of love greater than anything else. We as birth mommas want nothing but a better life for you all while we heal. It isn’t because we can’t stand to be reminded of that day if it was then we would have terminated pregnancy completely. I love my little peanut who is now making me a beached whale lol. I just know what is best for his life above anything else. With all the love hun you’re a blessing and nothing but that.

Hello Kyrstan,Sometimes God sends us His love and his compassion wrapped up in the words of a stranger. That is what happened to me tonight. I was working through the frequent feelings of pain, confusion and loneliness that often accompany the dreaded holidays and looking for how others cope during this season when I came across this site. I am an adoptee whose biological mother made the ultimate sacrifice by deciding to carry me and give me life despite the traumatic rape she had endured. Her inability to reunite with me has left me with wounds that refuse to heal and feelings of inferiority that deepen daily. I have been unable to find any comfort in the well-meaning words, thoughts and prayers of friends and family who truly want me to find peace. And then I read your story. Your caring authenticity shone through every word and you spoke directly to my heart. I don’t have words sufficient enough to express my respect and appreciation for what you have done for your son so know instead that I will hold you and your son close in my heart and in my prayers. My prayer for you is that God wrap his loving arms around you and bring you healing. May you continue to be the blessing to others that you were to me tonight. Thank you, my friend. With warmest thoughts,Stephanie