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Originally Posted By kbI need some strategies for dealing with jealousy on the part of my adopted child. I am a single mom of a 6 year old bio daughter (recent birthday) and in August a two year old boy (recent birthday)from DSS moved in with us as part of his adoption plan. He had been in foster care since he was four months old with a single woman who only took in babies. He and I have bonded and he and my daughter have also bonded. The piece that I didn't expect and need a little help with is the jealousy (pushing her away, whining, cring loudly) he exhibits whenever my daughter touches or is close to me. She is very understanding of his needs but I still need to attend to her and show him that there is enough love and attention to go around. Did you expeience this with your children? Any suggestions on ways to deal with this would be appreciated. Thanks.
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Originally Posted By Lee VaronWhen I adopted my son in 1983, I had no idea it would be over a decade before I adopted again. The one positive thing about having such a wide gap in age between them is that they have never exhibited any sibling rivalry. I think it's very natural for children who are close in age to feel jelous. You are right, however to stay on top of the situation. The fact that your daughter is aware of your son's needs is great and make things easier for you. However, as you point out, she does need you too. It may be important to arange some time alone with each child. As your son feels more secure, hopefully, his jelousy will subside somewhat. If not you may want to seek professional counseling sooner rather than later. Even a few sessions may help to give you some strategies for dealing with the situation. From the beginning it will be important to be clear about what behaviors are not appropirate. I know when I have ignored or let slide behaviors I didn't feel comfortable with I regretted it later on.
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