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Hi Everyone:
I'm searching for my birth parents and siblings. I recently found out that I was adopted (as was my older brother) at the age of 40! I know this is a shot in the dark. First of all because of my age and also because I was a private adoption. The information I do have is that I was adopted out of the Misericordia Home on the southwest side of Chicago, in February of 1962. I was adopted by the Maluta family. Birth certificates and all other pertinent information have my adopted parents as birth parents. My birth certificate was altered in November of '62 to add my middle name. Hopefully, someone out there has some info. Thanks for listening.
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I'm just blown away with excitement. I'm trying to keep my emotions in check. I've read too many stories, on the adoption forums about first contact, then nothing.
While I was driving home, my wife called to say someone called again. She said it sounded like a man and they asked for me. She told them I wasn't home and asked if they would like to leave a message. They said no, and hung up. Now, I was worried. Did her husband open her mail and think I was a lover or something? Anyway, those thoughts were going through my mind most of the night. I felt I could call back now since they talked with my wife. I finally worked up the courage to call around 9:30.
I dialed and then sat back and waited. The phone rang 4 times before someone picked it up (isn't that weird that I would keep track of that?) Anyway, I was going on the assumption that it was her husband that called. She answered the phone. I asked for her husband. She said he was sleeping. I hemmed and hawed a bit, then said that he called and I was returning his call. I did this a couple of times before she said that no, it was her that called (first or second time?) My wife said I did a very good job of keeping my excitement in check. She kept telling me that this was (insert mom's first and last name here) and she emphasized it the third time. That's when she told me it was her that called. There was some awkward silence followed by my explanation that all I wanted was medical info. I repeated that a couple of times before she shocked me and said, "No, I would like to meet you. I just don't know when."
I was ecstatic! I told her that would be nice and then let her know that it was her call on when and where we would meet. I explained to her that I understand her hesitance and that I will let her make the call. ****, I'm really trying to keep my emotions and excitement in check. I want her to call ASAP but I know it'll take time to work towards that. I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
My wife called to let me know there's a letter waiting for me at home from my b-mom. It's in the return address envelope I sent her. I'm assuming it's the medical info but I'm hoping for a little more. I'll take what I can get. Oh, and she put her return address on the envelope below mine. :D
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Well, I believe I've reached the end of the line. I've got the medical info I requested, I've talked with b-mom and I know my b-father's name. I'm not happy, but right now I'm emotionally, physically and spiritually spent. I'm not going to push things farther than they've already gone. I wish my b-mom the best. I'll send her cards on her birthday and at Christmas, but, I'm stopping at that. It's her choice if she wants to meet or not.
I'm done.
I wanted to thank all of you that have replied and sent well wishes. I sincerely hope you all find what you're looking for and it's a positive experience for you. Good luck to you all!
Dan
I sent my birth mom a Christmas card today. I included the annual family update letter and one of my new business cards. I also sent a short note to let her know I was thinking about her. I also apologized for sending the letter and left her an out if she doesn't want to hear from me again. I gave her my work hours and told her to leave a voice mail message after hours is she doesn't want to hear from me again. After all, she fulfilled her end of the bargain. I need some finality to this. I'm expecting to get it soon. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that voice mail message will be waiting for me sometime next week.
I'm sorry she's kept you hanging for so long. I'd like to think she would have more to offer you, but maybe there are good reasons why she can't. It's so hard not knowing, but I think you've done a good job of giving her options and giving yourself a deadline.
I wish you all the best.
Mary Jane
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Hey Everyone,
I think my time here has come to an end. I appreciate all the feedback I've received over the past couple of years. With B-mom seemingly forgetting me again, I've decided to log off here. I don't have anything to post about. I wish all of you, birth parents and adoptees all the success I did not achieve. Hey, maybe my bad luck will be good luck for the rest of you! I've got my fingers, toes and eyes crossed for all of you. :D Good luck!
Dan --
I'm very sorry things haven't worked out for you and your bmother. It does sound like it's time to let go, if only for your peace of mind. No one knows what the future holds, but I hope you find happiness and fulfillment in lots of ways. You'll be missed here.
Warmest wishes.
Mary Jane
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Hi all,Major update to fill you in on. I got to meet my birth mother! Unfortunately, it was at her husband's wake and no, I didn't have to read the obits to find out he had passed. She called me to let me know. I asked her if she wanted me to attend as she had enough going on emotionally without me adding to her burden. She said it would be okay.The meeting went very well. I got to talk to my mom, hug her, kiss her and let her know I was there for her if she needed me. I also got to meet a couple of aunts, found out my uncle had died about 10 years previously and got to meet some cousins on both sides of mom's family (as in her husband's family) They were all happy to see me.I'm trying to keep my cool and not call her every day. She still hasn't met my kids but has indicated she would love to do so. We're hoping to get that done some time in June. Oh, and my dad's name, Bob Jones, that's really his name! And, one of my aunts knows his sister in law and keeps in touch with her! I may be able to contact him as well!
So, it's been two years since I last updated. Met with Bob Jones, my birth father. We've been keeping in touch ever since. We've met face to face and I've met my extended family (his brothers and sister) I was lucky, no doubt about it. Unfortunately, my birth mom died last year, a little over a year after I met her. Again, I was lucky enough to meet her and she got to meet all three of my kids before she passed.