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Kim,
I'm glad your CW suggested you educate yourself about ADD. If your children truly do have it, it can be challenging, but not impossible. I do agree with lucyjoy, however, that a lot of kids in state care are misdiagnosed. ADD is such an easy, convenient catchall dx, when actually the kids might have RAD, PTSD, Bi-polar, or just a lot of anxiety (understandably enough). Sometimes it is hard to sort it out until the kids have had a chance to settle in a bit. Our son was off the wall hyper at age 10, and dx ADHD. He was on Ritalin for many years. Upon hitting adolescence, he calmed down tremendously and became depressed. Today(age 20) he is dx Bi-polar. Our second child was also recently tentatively dx bi-polar, after being dx ADHD for years.(She also has attachment issues) Likewise with our third child. She is still extraordinarily "spacey" and has had dx of ADD, but I now tend to think it is mostly just her MR. However, all this being said, ADD is a real disorder. It just may not be what your children actually have. I would try to get an evaluation done by a good child psychiatrist, preferably one with adoption experience, since the issues that drive adoptive kids' behaviors tend to be different from those of bio kids. The best book I have come across is "Healing ADD" by Dr. Daniel Amen. He has very compelling case histories, as well as brain images that make a strong case for different "subtypes" of ADD. His approach for these is multi-pronged. He recommends medication, diet, activity, and sometimes nutritional supplements. I took his book with me to our psychiatrist, and she agreed with his approach. ( He also has another excellent book called "Change Your Brain; Change Your Life" that recognizes the strong bio-chemical component of most mental illnesses.) Good luck to you on your upcoming placement. I hope it all works out.
Hi,
As an adult who was diagnosed with ADHD recently, I have found the About.com site for ADD to be very helpful. They have lots of links to articles and websites and some wonderful personal stories.
My two cents to add to this discussion is that many people think that ADD/ADHD is caused by weak character or is used as an excuse. It is a shame that so many poeple still think that ADHD is not real. You should have been in my preservice training group. A woman I called Springerette truly shouted at me that if I just spanked my son enough he would be in control of his ADHD. I tried to remind her that we are not to use physical punishment with the children we have placed with us through the county who was training us. She said i should spank him. I said it doesn't do any good. Then she said I spank him harder. I asked her when does spanking become abuse? She almost punched me.
Was that argument caused by my ADHD or just my reaction to everyone reacting to the disease as if a superior parent would eliminate this problem. I asked if a superior parent could eliminate diabetes or bi-polar disorder. It didn't connect.
I think for those who live with us the personality factors that are the most difficult to live with are:
1. We are noisy if we have the Hyperactivity trait. (I have a goal to enter a room and not be noticed. I haven't made it.)
2. We are highly creative and have trouble remembering our great ideas. I have a large, bright pink clipboard to keep my notes for what I am doing. What I think I should remember to do. What I did do with something (I can hide things from myself.) I can also keep school notes, etc on there to be dealt with and handled in a timely manner.)
3. We tend to have an increase in our foibles when we are stressed. (I locked myself out of the house the first day of this new homestudy process with a new agency.)
4. We are emotional and we can change faster than the weather.
5. Some days we are geniuses and some days we are total idiots.
(I am very competent with verbal things and cooking, sewing stuff, dog training on most days. Some days I think I could burn the house down just making Kraft macaroni and cheese. You will see my solution to that problem later.)
6. We may need to have light, noise levels (that's mine) non-itchy clothes, or some other seemingly goofy thing within rather tight parameters. It is not because we want to drive you crazy, but rather that the irritant is driving us crazy.
7. We sincerely do wish we could get our act together and regret that we can't keep it all together if we make a lot of progress. Our inconsistency is frustrating us as well as you. Our anger at those moments are necessarily caused by you. Try to remember that can be depressing to know that one can do much, yet screws this same activity up.)
8. The medication may be an amphetamine, but it is help us with chemicals our brains are making/ or not keeping, it is not that we like to speed around faster. When I found the right dose, I sat on my front porch one evening. I usually cannot just sit still - I read, etc. That night I just sat and relaxed. It was so unusual that even my neighbors came over to see if I was ok. I have wonderful neighbors, but for the first time in awhile, I just enjoyed the evening quietly.
9. We need to make procedures for the details in our lives.
Some of my procedures are:
Car keys get hung in a certain place. So does my purse.
Phone messages are not deleted until I have double checked my notes to ensure that I didn't get creative with the numbers.
I take time each morning to look at a list I started yesterday about what needs to be today or prepared for in the future.
When doing laundry, I have my way of adding detergent, etc. so that I know that I have done it.
I set timers when cooking. I set alarm clocks when I need to leave to pick up my son from school.
10. We are potentially wonderful people who have the energy to take on the world.
I hope my missal helps. I don't imagine that I am the I am the prime example of managing my ADHD, but I have made much effort in trying to become a better person. I hope I have many more to maybe get my act together.
Rav,
Mom to Christopher age 4 and half and Rory, my Jack russell terrier (Note ADHD dog owners and ADHD dogs are not necessarily a good thing.)
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Hi, Kim. We got our son, Nathan, a month go. He' 6 and he is definitely ADHD!!! I am truly glad your caseworker told you to be sure and read up on it. My caseworker basically told us, "Oh, all kids in foster care are supposedly ADHD," but Nathan DEFINITELY is!! And needless to say, we were NOT prepared!! He is truly a sweet, good-hearted child, but he won't even sit through a movie. Getting him ready for school in the morning before his meds have kicked in is a real challenge. There are times he lliterally runs through the house yelling, just in play. Even getting him to sit down and stay seated for a meal is a challenge. I defintely plan to check out some of the books recommended here!! And yes, I plan on getting to a psychiatrist for an evaluation VERY soon.
FWIW!
Cathy
Cathy congrats on Nathan. I have been reading Taking charge of ADHD by Russell Barkley as Dr. Art had suggest(although I actually had picked it up before he recommended it mainly because it looked like it was a great book). It really is a great book. Hopefully it will help. Best of luck and keep me posted. Although the match did not occure since the foster family decided to adopt them after all, I am sure we will be dealing with it and I want to know what is working for some.
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A caution I'd like to throw out there is that ADHD does tend to be misdiagnosed and overdiagnosed among adopted and foster children. Many adopte and foster children, because of the early maltreatment and neglect, have sensory-integration disorders. SI disorders can present with symptoms identical to ADHD, but since most mental health professionals are not trained or aware of this, misdiagnosis occurs. Common symptoms of SI include distractability, difficulty concentrating, impulsiveness, etc. If a child is placed on medication for ADHD and you don't see a dramatic response...or if the effects wear off in 60 days or so, you should consider SI. To assess for it you need an Occupational Therapist who is certified in Sensory-Integration. You can find some websites about SI on the links page of my website, if you want to look further into this.
Regards
Emotional problems are commonly mistaken for ADHD/ODD. To give a famous example, Kurt Kobain was diagnosed with ADHD and put on Ritalin. He was also put on tranqualizers because he couldn't sleep. This was after his mother shot and killed his father, and his problems were more consistant with a PTSD diagnosis then ADHD. My teachers thought I had ADHD too, but it was actually PTSD from being sexually abused by my cousins.
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