Very open adoption

Thank you for posting your message. I am an adoptive mom and have an open relationship with 2 of my 3 placements. The openness is the best! My children know first hand that they are loved by their birthfamilies. I am hopeful that in time our closed placement will turn into an open one. Until then, we all enjoy the relationships we have now. Enjoy the holiday season and peace be with you in the new year.

I too have a very open adoption, and although I still grieve and feel pain ... I know open is best for all of us, especially my daughter. I am glad that my daughter, and the son I am raising, will have a relationship as they grow up. And to Stef: I highly recommend a book by my friend and fellow bMom, Courtney Frey. The book is called "One Birthmother's Emotional Truth" ...in which the author goes through all the various stages of grief for the bMom. At the end of the book is a special section called "Straight Talk: Helping Adoptive Moms Understand" which you may feel helpful. You can read my review of the book on my website, as well as find the link to purchase it: [url]http://lifemothers.tripod.com/review.html[/url] Anyway, keep in mind ...that although this doesn't excuse her taking out her anger toward you ...her anger most likely has little to do with you as a person, and more to do with her not knowing how to deal with her grief in a way that is more productive. Have you told her how you feel about her treatment of you? I think it is awesome that you are committed to an open adoption - way to go ....but just know, no one deserves to be treated harshly. I hope you can resolve this issue - feel free to email me if you want to talk more. Take care, Skye

I wish more parents on both sides of the fence had less anger towards the other family involed.I start reading these post and I get so dicouraged.They make me cry most of the time.I think most of them who are angery never came to terms with their choice.From the begining when I found Elle's parents I knew in my heart that I made the right choice.They are loving and everything I wanted for my second daughter.I am raising a 6 year old and she knows her baby sister.We visitt alot and talk all the time on the phone.I explained adoption is when someone can't have a baby and really want one, so you help them by having a baby for them to love.The anger and hate I see in this boards are poison.They can really make a person doubt their choice and even stop them from doing an adoption.I know not all are as perfect as mine has been,but there are so many good ones.That I feel it is important for everyone to know not just about the negative ones .I made the choice of adoption because I do love my daughters and I wanted them both to have a good life.This does not make me selfish it makes me a mother. Yes I still cry alot but mostly they are tears of joy.When I see how happy my daughter is with her mommy and daddy ,how much they love her.Together we are building her a book of our story with her.Not theirs not mine but ours.This can be such a positive thing if people understand the choices they made and the world woud stop their negative attitudes.Everytime someone does not understand something they feel the need to feel negative about it.Why??Open your eyes and you can find beauty in everything in this world.If adults would take time to look through a childs eyes,they could see that it is not so bad.I feel like I am ranting but I want everyone to know that no matter your choice you did it for the love of your child.

trippingdaisy, you are awesome. I am so encouraged to see your loving attitude, even though you are still experiencing pain. I'm glad you posted so that people can see that there are good adoptive situations, especially in open adoptions, and that there can be a relationship of respect and affection between moms. My daughter was placed with me because she was neglected in her birth home. Her siblings will most likely go to a family member, and I am grieving for my baby that she will not grow up knowing her sibs. I am trying to at least work out exchanging photos and letters, but I so wish that more were possible. Your daughters are so blessed. Thanks again.

Just to let everyone know you can read a better post underneath Open adoptions.It is titled please read.I am willing to let the world know that I made an awsome choice in my life out of love.

Thanks for posting this info, I'm planning to adopt and been wondering about open and closed adoptions:)

Tripping Daisy, Congratulations. I'm happy to hear you have a great open adoption. I know that you made the decision for your child's best interest and at enormous personal cost. I'm glad things have worked out well. Your child will benefit from the good relationship you have with her adoptive parents. When it works, it works. :) On another note, please do not dismiss the fact that many adoption situations do not work out as well as yours. There are many issues on both sides, and in some cases anger is justified and appropriate. I wish you the best of luck! It really is nice to hear about a situation that is working out well. :) Sincerely, ~Sharon

Hi! We are in what is often called a "semi-open" adoption. We have gotten two e-mails from our dd's birth mom and we send things like photos and letters and cards through the agency. We've never met her. I can only say that it is our sincere wish that our adoption become much more open in the future--when she's ready--we have left the invitation open. Trunks, just pray that you are matched with just the right birth mom. Also, pray for her to receive strength and discernment for the tough choices she's encountering or will encounter. You know, at first we were afraid of a birth mom. Now we want her to call and visit often. Your heart changes in ways you don't expect sometimes! Sarah

Thanks bellazmama for the input. I'm planning on adopting a older child(older as in non infant) So I doubt I have to worry about this. But Just incase I feel I should know all the info on it. For I need to be able to know if I should agree to open adoptioin or not. and how it will effect boths sides. I would want to do whats best for everyone in it all. Not just my self . So from the Bottom of my heart I thank you!:)