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Im 13 and i have been waiting to adopt for the past 2 years but this year it has gotten serious so my family has started looking in to it. we started out but looking at many different agencies and thats where everything went down hill from. you see the thing is we dont have that much money, the most i would say we could spend on adoption is 2,000-3,000 which would completly max us out.... all the agencies that we've looked at ask for at least 20,000 or maybe a little bit less and we look at my dads job and they can give us 2,500 and we looked and the state can give us about 5,000 and then thats where are dreams become shot down again. personally, i dont know if anyone else feels this way but i am getting quite mad at the adoption system because so many more children would have a home if they wouldnt charge so very very much. it's not fair and i just feel like crying because there is absolutly nothing i can do and everything seems so far out of my reach. we have'nt yet completly given up on the idea of adoption but we are coming close to the end of the line and i just cant stand it. and another thing is my dad is a single father and the only other agency that has a reasonable fee is adoption link and that is 9,000 and when you take away the amount we would only be paying about 1,000 which we would be able to afford but they called back my dad and talked with him and they said that a birthmother might not pick him because he is a single father and he is a male, so she said we might wait anywhere for ?-2 or 3 years which is way to far away! and there is another reason why personally i am dissappoined with many adoption agencies, why do the birthmother get to decide where there child gets to go if they arent the ones who are going to care for the child anyway why should they get to choose!?!?!? Please dont take that the wrong way but if they give up there child they dont, in my eyes deserve any say in where there child is going to be staying! If you have any ideas about how we can get/raise more money (excluding fundraisers because how on earth is anyone supposed to raise a penny if you only get 50% from tupperware when a tupperware container can sell for as little as 3.00? Also excluding loans because my father doesnt have good credit) or how we can go about adopting maybe through a lawyer or something... anything. please help us!!!
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The birth mother gets to choose because she is doing a wonderful thing by giving life to her child instead of other options she has open to her. The birth mother also gets to choose who adopts her baby because she loves her child and wants to make sure it goes to a family where it will get love and support.
You are a 13 year old girl being raised by a single father and you are upset because you want to adopt? Adoptive parents wait their entire lives to adopt. They work to save money and spend whatever it takes to get a child. You are only 13!
The money agencies charge are for home inspections, background checks, and money for the expenses of the mother's medical expenses and to support the agencies.
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Tiffany,
I empathize with you. Although you are only 13 doesn't mean that your pain is any less than if you were older. You have a right to voice your opinions and concerns. Truthfully, I feel the same way you do about adoption (although in my mind I do see why some money is needed for agency expenses). But, does it really need to be so costly? I don't think so. I do have a suggestion. Have your dad write a letter about wanting to adopt and send them out to OB/GYN's, high school and jr. high school counselors and nurses, pediatricians, surrounding health nurses, any place you can think of that might have contact with unwanted babies/children. If your dad wouldn't mind taking a child that was a little older, say 6-7 or older, your state social service office should be able to point you in the right direction. I hope for the best for you, Tiff. Michelle