overnights

January 11, 2002

I'm looking for advise on how long to wait before having my 9 year old son try having friends stay overnight, and then stay overnight somewhere else. He's pretty much fully recovered from RAD, and has been done with therapy since last May. He has done great with not bedwetting for the past month, although he does still wet occasionally (dry 7 out of past 8 nights). Prior to this, he had a wet bed almost every night. He is already talking excitedly about going to cub scout camp this summer and sleeping over.

He has never spent the night with anyone but us, since adoption at age 4. It just wasn't possible before for many reasons including RAD and enuresis. So being able to stay at camp is going to take some building up to (even though his father or I will probably spend the night there too). I have 6 months till camp to start helping him adjust to spending the night away from us.

While I know it's too soon to try just yet, I also figure it may take several experiences before he is ready to handle camp.

Anyone have some experience with this? I'd appreciate input.

DimasMom

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January 12, 2002

Originally Posted By Dr. Arthur Becker-Weidman

You may want to discuss with your son's pediatrician the nasal spray hormone that is used to control wetting...just to use when he has a friend over or when he goes on an overnight...his pediatrician will be able to advise you about any drug interactions.

Probably the easiest event to begin with would be having a friend or cousin sleep over at your home first...then, if that goes well, move on to your son spending the night at a relative's home and then a friend's home.

My experience with children is that such a graded ramping up allows you to evaluate his capacity to tolerate increasingly stimulating/disorganizing events and to maintain himself.

Arthur Becker-Weidman, Ph.D.

Center For Family Development

716-810-0790

[url="http://www.Center4FamilyDevelop.com"]http://www.Center4FamilyDevelop.com[/url]

AWeidman@Concentric.net

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January 12, 2002

Thanks for the advise! Will run the nasal spray past Pdoc when we see him in a few weeks. He did very poorly on oral version of DDAVP so it makes me nervous to try again. Maybe at home, before an overnight would be best. I just hate to give him the message that he needs something external to help him be successful.

Before, he became very behavioral. We d/c'd DDAVP after 1 week. My hypothesis was that being able to feel his full bladder did wake him up at night, but thanks to that good old Russian training - he then laid in bed terrified to leave. My kiddo has always done poorly if his sleep gets disrupted. He still does not leave his bed at night, unless guided by me to do so.

Will probably try having him sleep at Grandma's first. Besides me, she's the person he is most comfortable with. All other options have at least 2 kids in home, and a lot more chaios than any only child is use to. So we'll work up to that more slowly.

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January 31, 2002

Because DDAVP is a hormone - I may not be able to use it as I had planned. Pediatrician prescribed it, but wants it used every day. I wanted something that could be used intermittently, just when he spends the night away from home. At home he is making progress with the enuresis, using natural consequences. I don't want to use the meds at home as it looks like he can overcome this issue with the current course of action.

Apparently, given that DDAVP is a hormone, that is not something that can be used intermittently. Pharmacist is researching it, but common sense leads him to agree with pediatrician. There are herbal options, pharmacist is also going to research these for me. Don't know what it's like in the cities, but in small town America, the pharmacist is great. He has even gone in after hours to fill asthma medications for my son!

Anyone out there have luck using DDAVP intermittently, or with herbal remedies. My son has set a goal of going to cub scout overnight camp this summer. His attachment disorder is resolved and this is a realistic goal for him. He's already stopped using a night light this month, and this weekend will have his first overnight at a cousins. We have the Goodnights, but this is not an option at friends houses, or at camp (they are not as discrete as the commercials imply - at least not for a 9 year old).

Thanks, DimasMom