Teasing at School

Originally Posted By Susan WardMargaret,I feel so sad for your son. A few things come to mind:-Read books to him like "Families Are Different," one of my favorite children's adoption books.-Role-play things lots of various things that children might say, and the various responses he might give. You can do this one on one, or use stuffed animals, or both.-Talk to the teacher and ask if you can come to the class and do a presentation about different kinds of families. Talk about step families, foster families, adoptive families, blended families, etc. Read the book, "Families Are Different" to them.-Talk to the principal and ask if you can do a presentation on a teacher in-servie day about adoption. Educate them about adoption, etc.It may be just that the children don't know about adoption. Or, it might be a case of children being taught by their parents that adoption is not an equal way to create a family. Which, we all obviously disagree with.Best of luck.Susan Wardmama to Hannah, age 10, home 4 years

Originally Posted By anotherMarylandfamilyYears ago the adopted child wasn't told he/she was adopted let alone peers and still today many families don't share with their children what it means to be adopted ... it's no longer that the child was born out of wedlock, a result of violence or just not wanted due to societies' thinking, etc. etc. If your son is comfortable overall with being adopted, I agree - make an appointment with the teacher to discuss being adopted and the specialness of it vs. the thinking that the children are using when teasing. It will make a difference.Hug your child extra today (and every day) - he really is a chosen one and one day he'll know how special he too is.Best wishes.

Originally Posted By Dr. Arthur Becker-WeidmanThere are two things I'd do.First, talk with your son about the incident. Let him vent. It is often very healing for a child to discuss what s/he wished s/he'd said or done...even if it's just, "hit him in the head with a chair." The act of discussing what the child wished to do is very helpful...let him vent...he probably knows the difference between wishes and actions.Second, I'd talk with the teacher.However, teasing is a normal part of school. Children can be cruel and will look for vulnerabilities. The best approach is for your son to feel good about being adopted so that teasing has no effect and will result in no further actions by the other kids. One Mom with whom I worked told me her son very proudly said to the other kid, "Your parents had to keep you, but mine chose me." Any way, you get the idea.Best wishes,Arthur Becker-Weidman, Ph.D.Center For Family Development716-810-0790[url="http://www.Center4FamilyDevelop.com"]http://www.Center4FamilyDevelop.com[/url]AWeidman@Concenctric.net

Originally Posted By WendyMy adoptive mom taught me to say the following when I was teased about being adopted:"When you were born, your parents were STUCK with you whether they liked you or not. My parents CHOSE me because they wanted me!" It never failed.