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I don't know what to do. Our adoption is final and I WANTED to adopt. Now that it's done, I feel as thought I can't do THIS. I'm tired and irritable all the time. My husband tries to help as much as he can but he works and I stay home so I get the most of the work. The kids drive me crazy and I have no way to get away from them. If I go into the bathroom, they come looking for me. There has not been a day in the last year (since they moved in) when I have gotten up in the morning looking forward to anything. My life consists of wash, dishes, housework and picking up after everybody. I take care of the house and everybody else, but nobody takes care of me. I don't ever get to do what I want anymore. Everything is for the kids. I know I need a vacation from all this, but the vacation that's being planned is that I take the kids with me and my husband stays home. These kids are both over ten so they are not babies. But they are high maint kids. I can't picture the rest of my life like this. My husband is very happy except he is upset with me. I think he thinks that I am selfish because I resent the constant workload. This was something that we planned to do together, but together turned out to be mostly me and I'm getting more and more tired as time goes on. Thanks for letting me vent.
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At first reading I was wondering if you were still in an adjustment phase to this major change in your life. Adding 2 kids over 10 would create a tremendous upheaval. I am definatley not looking forward to adolescence (my son is 9). From what most of my friends say, their teens are equally as demanding as their toddlers.I also read something more than this between the lines. The types of statements you make and feelings you express are common in parents of children with attachment disorder. Given the ages of your children at placement, could this at all be a possibility? RAD kids can suck the very life out of you. They chew you up and spit you out. But often the rest of the world thinks they are just great, and that you are so lucky. I would encourage you to check out some of the RAD sites for a description of the disorder. If it sounds possible, then I would encourage you to get to an attachment therapist, asap. I stress "Attachment Therapist, not a run of the mill therapist. You can check with AttaCh for the closest therapist to you. It might also help to join in with some parenting groups. Is there a local adoption support group in your area? Adolescence can be extra challenging for adopted kids. Hang in there and keep posting. These boards are great!DimasMom
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