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Not sure how to handle the hugging arena with a healed RAD. My son just started with a new Therapeutic Support Staff (TSS) and Mobile Therapist (MT). While RAD truly seems to be resolved, he is still in need of extra support to succeed at summer camp (mainly due to bipolar and SI issues).
One day after attending a seminar on RAD; MT and TSS take my son to the school carnival. I am there volunteering. As they depart, I see my son turn to the MT for a hug, which she reciprocates. My son has seen her a total of 2 times. Hugging acquaintances was part of his difficulty in the raddy days.
My instinct is to ask them not to hug my son. But then, not sure I should make a big deal out of it. I really am quite confidant the rad is gone. He still has his ups and downs, but 100% of the time, he lets me help him. He turns to me for support and comfort rather than rejecting me.
Appreciate your input. DimasMom
Maybe there is a reason for what she did and she definitely needs to hear your input. You, too, are forging a relationship with these people. Best Wishes.
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After a child has achieved a secure attachment to his/her parent(s), then the matter of affection can be managed as you would with any child.
Issues to consider are:
1. What is the child's temperament? Some children are much more "affectionate" or tactile than others. Such children touch more and need more touch.
2. What is the child's relationship with the person in question? While only two visits may seem insignificant, you might want to consider the nature of the person's role. How does your child perceive that person...as someone who is safe and will help the child feel secure? Recall that lost children will happily take the hand of a police officer because the officer is perceived as good, strong, and safe.
I hope this helps.
Arthur Becker-Weidman, Ph.D.
Center For Family Development
716-810-0790
AWeidman@concentric.net
[url="http://www.center4familydevelop.com"]http://www.center4familydevelop.com[/url]