Any regrets for not adopting a second (5 years, 10 years later?)

We have a 5.5 yr old daughter who has been bugging us for the last two yrs to adopt her a brother or sister. Now that we finally have the resources to do it, my daughter is more excited than I have ever seen her. (We are adopting a little boy from Guatemala, and he should be home this summer.) Her little brother is all she talks about and any time we get pictures, she takes them to school to show her friends and her teachers, and she puts them up in her room. I feel like this experience is providing her with a better understanding of her own adoption, as well as providing her with a sibling to share so much love with. She has lost a couple of close relatives in her life and I feel that having a sibling will give her the security and stability she desperately needs. That is not to say that we are doing this just for her, but I feel like her acceptance and eagerness for it is a major factor for us. I want her to know the joys and the aggravation of having a brother, and I want her to have that same sibling bond that both my husband and I had growing up. (With our siblings, not each other! :)) Jak - Don't let age be what holds you back. Don't deny yourself or your family the experience of another child to love.

Thanks everyone for your feedback. I'm getting closer to going ahead and starting our homestudy for our second adoption. Its interesting to here perspectives on both sides of adopting special needs children. Before who chose the Colombian program and were able to adopt Lucas at 10 weeks, we looked into adopting older children and the main thing that really scared us was the children who were sexually abused. We felt we had gone through so much with the horrible infertility "treatment" that we couldn't handle anything more. We also wanted to experience the early baby stage (as early as we could for an Int'l adoption.) Its good to know that not all "special needs" are too difficult to parent. It encourages me that perhaps that could be a possibility. I think if we do adopt again, we will look into adopting an older child possibly between 6 months to 3 years, and hopefully from Latin America so Lucas and his sister/brother have that in common. If anyone else has any other comments, its really great to hear others experiences and perspectives. Like I've said before, I'm so glad I found this website! It really makes me realize I'm not the only one who chose adoption as a way to build our family.

thanks for posting this topic and for all the replies! I'm going through the same internal debate regarding #2 and all these comments were tremendously helpful. P.s. On the topic and "special needs" --the benefits and challenges they pose, our daughter is classified "special needs" because she was drug exposed (heroin). we adopted through a private agency and she receives supplemental money from the county to provide the special assistance/programs/support she may need currently or in the future. She is a normal, energetic, happy toddler but it is nice to know that if and when she needs special programs (ie. when she enters school they "predict" she may have some learning delays), the extra money will be there.

I'm curious How was it adopting your second as a special needs? Did you go through the waiting children program through your state? We applied to the Guatemalan program through an agency and the country is closed so we're starting to look at other avenues. I'm in the gathering more data stage and definitely want to adopt a second.

Hello JAK - We are just now finalizing our son's adoption through Guatemala and will be traveling next weekend to bring him home. It has been a long, stressful road, but we are so glad that we stuck it out. Guatemala is a very unsure country to adopt from right now, even though many agencies are back to offering referrals from there. If I may suggest....the Marshall Islands and Samoa are both places that we had thought about adopting from before and they are pretty stable. The children are beautiful and very much in need of forever families. Good luck on your journey...where ever it may take you! Renee