Advertisements
dH and I went to the dessert match. I sure hope our experience is the exception rather than the rule. First, we were disappointed about the size of the function. Then, we discovered that most of the displays were regarding fostering, which we are not interested in. Then, when we did find a display with adoptable children...we saw one that looked interesting, so we started going through their information. When the person manning the display found out that we did not have our homestudy done, she grabbed back the information from my hands and said "You shouldn't have that" and wanted the glossy picture back because "she didn't make up a lot of them". I felt like I was drawing back a bloody stump the way she grabbed them back from me. Thanks for letting me vent that out.
My reccommendation is that either people who aren't homestudy ready, or are not interesting in fostering should not go.
Also, it would have been nice to have been warned before we went. I guess I'll chalk it up to experience...I'm passing this experience to you.
ps. Don't be fooled...the desserts weren' t that great either ::D
Advertisements
Hi Everyone,
Been a little while since I have posted. Been so busy with everything, haven't had time to think. But that is ok.
I keep reading that everyone has been waiting so long for the process to be finished, and I am confused as to why.
My husband and I have been "in the process" for 3 weeks. Week #1 had our orientation, week #2, our training, week#3, our home study. All that is left to do is have the home study typed up in a family profile, and start our search. ( We already have a sibling group of 4 picked out ) I was told yesterday that even though our home study hasn't been typed, though it will shortly, they have begun our search.
I may be an acception to the rule, or as my husband and I like to think, God is moving quickly to get "our kids" here with us, but this whole process has gone quickly for us. Granted we are not limiting our search, and are looking for "harder-to-adopt" kids, but it sounds like some of you are also.
We are going through Rejoice Inc in harrisburg, and found "our kids" on the adoptpakids website. I have been in contact with their caseworker from step one, updating her each step of the way.
I found out through our home study, that any child over the age of five is considered special needs. I did not know this before. Just an FYI for you all.
My heart goes out to all of you waiting so long, and I will keep you all in my prayers. If their is anything I can help with, gregzgirl99@pennswoods.net.
Hi Para and nrj. How goes it with you ladies?
Cheryl
Congratulations to you on your speedy road thus far. It may be that God has a plan for you soon. My homestudy began in January of 2003 was complete in June of 2003 (even though I did everything as soon as possible), and I had my first successful match for a child in Feb of 2004. She was able to move in permanently on April 21. I have herard that that isn't so long, but, when you're very anxious, it seems like an eternity. I was looking to adopt a girl or two sibling girls between the ages of 12 and 15, only mild emotional (since Im single and have to work full time. When it came time, there just weren't so many available in my state of Pennsylvania. And if they became available, I sometimes didn't have a chance because I was not a couple. I am in my early 50's, so I didn't want it to drag on forever. The child who I have is adjusting pretty well, with no major problems so far and I don't really expect any. Well Im chattering too much, but anyway I wish you much luck and keep us all up to date. Nanci
Hi Nancy,
Wow! It seems it does take awhile for some to get the process completed. I am in awe everytime I think about the fact that our process is started AND done. I know in my heart that God's hand is guiding this whole thing. After all, it was Him who led us to the children, and planted the thought of adoption in our hearts. ( Love ).
I talked to the intake counselor earlier today, and she has a made a call to the children's caseworker. had to leave a message, but she got the ball rolling. :D
We are hoping and praying that God places the children with us soon, before school starts. We would like to take them on a small vacation somewhere close, preferably a theme park.
Thanks for responding, and remember, I will keep you ALL in my prayers!
Cheryl
Glad to hear your daughter is adjusting, Nancy. Anymore breakfasts in bed?
No more breakfasts in bed lately. I may have to wait until next mothers day. lol Things are going good with you though. I really admire you wanting to take four kids. How old are they? How many boys and girls? My daughter is doing pretty well. A few little things, but thats to be expected. As part of her 16th birthday present I bought her one of those new link charm bracelets and a "J" charm to start her off. I thought it was a good idea to add charms for important times in her life in our family. We also had a mother daughter night out for dinner and a movie. It was fun. I haven't been to a movie in a long time. She is a very pleasant child and just wants a place to belong and a family of her own. She needs to know that she is loved. We're working on a summer job right now and a couple of volunteer days at a kennel nearby. She is "crazy" about animals. Keep us up on your progress and we'll be praying for you!!! Nanci
Advertisements
Good Morning Nancy,
Sounds like you are having alot of fun with your daughter. Keep up the good work! Tell her I said HAPPY 16TH!!!
Our 4 are 2 girls, ages 13, and 12, and 2 boys, ages 10, and 4. Breanna, Ashley, Daniel, and Nicholas. We are getting very excited to have them here. Our caseworker called their caseworker yesterday. Hoping to hear something soon.
Will keep you updated.
Love & Prayers,
Cheryl
Just checknig to see if you heard anymore about the four children you're interested in? I hope you'll get some good news about them. I know the waiting is tough and everything seems to go very, very slowly. I can remember, (not too long ago) making call after call to caseworkers regarding their kids on the web sites. I was one of three interviewed on a 14 year old girl before this one. I was the only single mother of the three. the others were couples. The caseworkers thought that this child would do better with a single mother and get so much more attention. I thought it sounded so hopeful, but in the end after my interview they told the child about all of us, and she said that she would really rather have a mother and a father. I certainly cant blame her for that. I was a little upset that it took 3 months to tell me that I didn't get her. I would think they would have asked that question long before they considered me. Oh well. I think about her still, I used to keep her little picture on my dresser for 3 months. I see it like this, I didn't get the first child for a reason. God had a different plan. He was good enough to give me Jessica, and I thank him every night for her. Your child will come too ! Nanci
Hi Nancy,
The only thing I know thus far is that their is going to be an interactual? on the 15th. I am not sure what that is, but I had Rejoice call the children's caseworker yesterday to find out what the chances would be that the children would still be placed up for adoption afterwards. Didn't find out anymore than I already knew, but the caseworker did state that she had our info, and would let us know as soon as she knew anything. All we want is what is BEST for the children. But I don't want to wait 6 months to find out we don't have a chance. But I probably will. :)
Glad to hear everything is going well with you.
Cheryl
Advertisements
Hello everyone, how are you? My hub and I have been trying to adopt for the last past year, and it's very difficult and frustrating, trying to find my family on the internet, hoping they will fall out of the sky and land on my lap. We have inquired about alot of children, only a few replies, no major leads. We are going to the Swn brunch on June 30th, maybe some luck will turn up there. I wonder how many children on the Swan website especially under age 11, their social worker are swarmed with tons of home studies, I wish their was a easier way to get some of these social workers atention, I sometimes understand why people go through international adoption, but it isn't fianacially ethical for my family right now, we are thinking about foster care, and switching agencies to a foster care agency. Now I have a question, if the agency did the home study, and the state gave them a payment of $2,500, can I switch to someone else? or will it cost me? probaly depends on the agency I guess?
Does anyone have any ideas on getting through the adoption process, or had sucess attending the matching brunch, please fell free to pm me with a message, I know their alot of frustrated parents out there like me!
Regards,
Boston
In talking to an experienced adoptive mother, I heard that it my agency is so small that they are not "connected" the way that large agencies are.
For example, the FAX machine at the large agencies is buzzing all the time with incoming child profiles. In two months of waiting, we have only see one recent child profile. We are seriously considering this child but feel we were not being considered for children listed on the SWAN site because our agency in not "connected". FYI: This child is older than we wanted, almost 18, but looks like a sweatheart and a possible match.
My agency and I have made 50+ inquiries so far and have no other interest shown in our profile. I understand there are 6000 family profiles on families in PA looking to adopt kids, mostly under 10. The kids with a low number of issues get matched quickly.
We are compelled to investigate the transference our profile to a larger agency (E.g. Bethanna or Lutheran) to get more exposure. I know this would cause further delay and may cost $2500 to get our profile transferred (so our agency says, but PA SWAN says it should be FREE to transfer a family profiles). I cannot remember if I signed a paper stating we would pay to have our profile transfered.
On the positive side of small agencies, we liked the small class size for training, personal attention we get from our small agency as well as the fact that they are right down the street.
In the long run, we only want the best possible match for our family and the child. I understand that patience is a virtue, but in the land of instant gratification, it's hard to wait months and years for kids who are waiting.
Hope you get matched soon.
My husband and I have been approved to adopt. The social worker told us to search sites and send her the infor amtion about the children we were interested in. Well we have done that but still no replies. The social worker harldy ever contacts us about anything, and when I call her she really never answers my questions.
Does anyone have any suggestoins that might help us feel better about her?????
Hello Everyone,
Hi nrj! Been awhile. Where do I start??
The fab 4 are still on hold. I did learn that the interactual was a meeting with the Psychologist to evaluate their case. I was told by the caseworker that he/she would probably be recommending that the children stay in foster care for now. I can only think that that must be the best for them right now. Hard to tell what they may have been through prior to this foster home. And I am okay with the decision, though their hearing is sometime this month and the judge will have the final say. I'll let you know more later as I find out.
For the REALLY upsetting news....The agency we working with has declined our home study. After being told "everything looked great", " all we have to do is get your home study typed up", and " you guys are going to be great parents", they declined us. The reasons they gave were: #1. I had been married 4 times, ( 3 years the 1st time, 9 years the 2nd, 6 years the 3rd, and now 5 yrs) and had not been divorced more than 1-2 years in between, AND #2. because my husband no longer has a relationship with his adopted son to his previous marriage. My husbands adopted son, decided after 18, to take back his "real" father's name, and have nothing to do with my husband, all because my husband would not allow him to move his girlfriend into there home. The agency knew all of this info the first time we ever met them ( we went with autobiography's in hand! ) Why they didn't stop the proceedings BEFORE the training and the home study is beyond me. ( Except that they made a few bucks from the state for both! )
I guess you could say I am a pretty angry person for the way they did things, but even angrier that so many kids out there are growing up in foster care, and at 18 being turned out with nowhere to go, and noone to call "family", and because I wasn't divorced long enough, that makes me unstable? But it is ok to send kids back to abusive parents whom they KNOW are abusing these kids over and over again. And I am worse than those parents? Needless to say, I sent Gov. Rendell a letter expressing my frustration and anger over "the system". Received a reply yesterday from a Project Manager from SWAN. I plan on calling her today, if only to make sure they know how this so-called "Christian" agency handled our case, and make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else. They even called me at WORK to break the news to me! How uncaring can you be? This isn't very "Christian-like" to me.
We are going to look for another agency, we are not giving up just because of one agencies "judgement", though at present I am not ready to try again. I really need to recover from this instance first. I am also placing this whole thing in God's hands and am waiting for His instructions before we do anything.
On the matching brunch...I thought it was a joke! They had more books of families looking for kids, than they did kids looking for families! They DID have a little info that may have been helpful to some, but I can find out more from the web.
Sorry to take up so much space. I have really needed to come here for a few weeks now....just didn't have the energy.
I will continue praying for you all, and hoping for the best outcome for you too!
NRJ, how is your daughter doing?
Love in Christ,
Cheryl
Advertisements
Hi everyone! We just got the phone call--our homestudy starts on August 10th. I'm so anxious I'm about to pass out!! If anyone has any experiences or suggestions I would really love to see them!!!
Nurse Z... I'd hug you for real if I could. Don't give up. God's carried you this far...He's going to take you all the way. You know you are in my prayers!! (wink!)