I am a single LDS woman and I have decided to adopt a foster child. I'd love to know if there are any other single adoptive LDS parents out there.
I believe that the Lord would rather see a child grow up in a loving LDS home with just a mother than in the foster care system without any parents. However, I don't know any other LDS people who have adopted as singles.
The LDS church is a strong advocate for families with 2 parents. The church believes in marriage and strong family ties between the man and the woman. They beleive that children need a father and mother figure in their lives as parents and that parents need each other just as much as they need kids. Now, that does not mean that the LDS church beleives that single parents are bad, it just prefers for the family to have a mother and a father. There are many single parents in the church and in the world that are excellent parents who are having to fill both rolls. The church supports these people and has many programs in place to help them and offer resources. The church is just an advocate of forever families, with a Mommy and a Daddy.
I think that children need to have different perspectives available to them in parents so that they can see how they work together and resolve differences. However, I know that all marriages do not have that and that in many cases, the children are better off with one good parent than a good one and a bad one. I agree with the church, I believe that all children would be better off with two good parents, a male and a female, who love each other and their children. I realize that is rare in society today, but it would be nice.:)
I hope that answers some of your question, it is a little hard to put into words. Feel free to ask any other questions, this forum is very helpful and we will try to answer your questions!
Happy New Year!
In regards to the question about LDSFS, my experience is that they are not just about finding children for homes, they are about helping birthparents find the home they want for their children, if that makes sense. :) Two separate needs - LDS married couples and LDS birthparents, that they are trying to fulfill with each other. Most LDS birthparents will want the family that they cannot provide.
We have a women in our ward who is; very active, never married, temple worker, and a single mom of a soon to be adopted child. She is amazing! The boy came into her life while she was living in another part of the country. He is almost 12, and they are a family. She is in the process of adopting him and it should be completed soon. She is sad because she cannot be sealed to him in the temple right now, but feels the Lord creates eternal families. I don't know of anyone thinking anything of it. We all just love, and support her. Best of luck!!
I am also beginning the process to adopt as a single LDS woman. I am 33 years old and interestingly enough, work full time as a counselor for women in substance abuse treatment trying to reunify with or maintain custody of their young children. I am already finding it (adopting alone) a goal with a lot of impediments. Sadly, it seems like it would be an easier process if one was independently wealthy and the money was not a factor. I would be interested in talking to anyone who is the the same process or has already adopted as a single mother. Goodluck JR.
Originally posted by JR_outside
I have heard of successful single male adopters. I don't know any now though!
Well, I'm not so sure about the successful part yet ;) But I am a prospective single adoptive father. I'm just starting the homestudy process.
I'm new to this site. I stumbled upon it. I am single and LDS and thinking about adopting. I'm overwhelmed and would love any advice or support from others going through the same thing. I have seen several people with similar situations.
I know a friend who adopted two girls from Peru and one boy through foster care. She didn't know it when she adopted the boy but she receives money for him even after the adoption is final. I hope this helps someone concerned with money. Money will keep coming until he is 18. She found that some foster care facilities don't want people to adopt because they have to retraing more people. She luckily found a great agency that love foster to adoption people. That seems to be a good agency belief. Focus on what best benefits the kids. Take care, Sarah
I am also single and lds and thinking of adopting a child someday. I am only 23 now so there is still a chance I could get married and give birth to my own children but I am open to adopting as a single woman someday although I really came to these forums looking for info on disable parents adopting since my nonmember boyfriend is legally blind in one eye and people have told us we may not be able to adopt. Doctors have told me I may be infertile so I am open to anything. :)
I also believe that although a child ideally should have two parents that there are so many unwanted children in foster care in the us that single parent adoption should be more accepted. I know my own mother is deadset against it but as a preschool teacher I see way too many unhappy foster children who have been bounced around from home to home and at 3, 4 or 5 have no permanant place to go and feel neglected.
A lot of people are opposed to single parent adoption especially in the church but unless more married couples are going to be willing to adopt the hundreds of thousands of foster kids in the us I think we should all be more open to it.
I'm a single mom to a five year old girl I adopted from China and am in the process of adopting a second from China.
I have wondered if there was enough interest to form a single LDS adoption yahoo group. It looks like maybe there is.
My ward has been generally supportive. The biggest problem we have is finding good Asian role models who are members of the Church.
I am about a month away from completing my foster care license and I'm also single and LDS. Adoption is a possibility for me as well, but I'm concerned about how the church community will cope with my adopting.
Does anyone have advice on this? How do you explain who this child is? Do you just say that you're a single parent (and get the pity and concerns about your violations of the Law of Chastity that many single parents get) or do you try to explain that you CHOSE to become a single parent? Are Bishops reluctant to extend callings where you could be seen as influencing teenagers to become single parents (ie. Young Women's)? Do you have to keep quiet about your decision, or are people pretty open?
If anything, I would adopt through the foster care system. I would probably be adopting an older child (over 10).
I would be excited to hear from other single LDS parents-by-choice! I also agree that a 2 parent home is ideal, but it seems like a 1 parent home is better than a 0 parent home!
My Bishop has been very supportive. I was recently released as Young Women President so there was no problem with issueing a calling to me. In regards to people questioning chastity issues - that is out-of-line on their part. That is between you, Heavenly Father and your church leaders.
And I agree - it is better to have one parent then no parent. And believe that we will be blessed with a temple sealing someday, somehow.
BTW - if you are interested I have a small yahoo group called SALDS (single adoption-LDS). I'm the only member so far and would love to have company
I am an LDS single Mom to a Chinese daughter, now 8. She is the light of my life, and single adopting was the best decision I ever made after joining the LDS Church. I had great support with Marisa, she was "ward spoiled," and then we bought a house in another ward, and things went pretty OK. I have a PhD, I'm 48, single, with a Chinese daughter, so we don't exactly fit the mold, but we had a pleasant enough time. Then I moved to a new ward as I was attempting to adopt an African American infant. Boy, did I get stomped! The Bishop told me I couldn't afford it, and I should take care of the one I had! This was without looking at my tax records, etc. I do think once you adopt the child, people seem to accept you at face value, but don't expect huge support while you are in the process. People seem to think they can talk you out of it, quoting the Proclalmation on the Family, etc. I would make my decision on my own, with God's help, and then make it clear to others that you are not open to their advice. IMHO. Thanks!
Thanks for talking about your experiences! It's really reassuring to know that there are others out there like me. Keep me updated!
I am a single LDS man who is just starting the adoption process. My friends are supportive, LDS and non alike. My family kind of thinks I've lost my mind, but I guess they'll get used to it.
I did casually mention that I was "thinking" about adoption to my bishop this past Sunday, just so down the line when I actually show up with a child I can tell him that I told him. He was asking me if I had any luck lately finding my eternal companion.
I'm just starting the adoption process and found this thread. I know it's old but I'm hoping to start up this conversation again. I'd love to be able to talk with other single LDS women who have either gone through or completed the adoption process. I know there will be many challenges ahead and can use all the advice and support I can find!
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I’m interested in listening in on this thread as well. I’m 25, single and have a couple years until I have a steady income, but I love hearing people’s experiences and how they navigate the process of becoming a single adoptive parent. I also wonder about the Church’s stance on single parent adoption. Does anyone actually know, beyond the speculation?
Also, if a child has an option to be in a two parent home, I don’t want to stand in the way of that. How does one go about finding a child who is not getting the chance for two parents? What does that look like? Any insight would be appreciated. Thanks!