Single Mom Foster/Adopting a Child with ADHD

I just wanted to congratulate you...I know you are on cloud nine right now! How exciting to bring a lovely child into your life. We recently had an experience with a wonderful child, who had been diagnosed with ADHD. Unfortunately, we were not informed by her family about the severity of it. They only told us what they though we "needed" to know, "Just give her the red pill in the morning, and 2 white pills at bedtime...she will do fine" What they didn't tell us was...if ANYTHING was changed in her routine, or she was asked to do something she didn't want to do, or stop doing something she was enjoying...she had these awful meltdowns of screaming, and kicking, running from us in public (almost was hit by a car after jerking from my husband and running across the street), and other unpleasant reactions. They didn't allow us to talk to her Doctor, and we found out that they had been trying to place her "privately" for about a year, with not success. We felt that we were just not the right family for this little girl. Her behaviors were tearing our family apart, and all we did was constantly argue with her, and try to deal with her outbursts and defiance. It will take someone like yourself who can take the time and go to training, and spend one on one time with her to get a routine established. As much as we wanted to believe that LOVE is all a child needs and wants...that is just not the case with this condition...although it is very much necessary to give to her, and having this condition does not make them less deserving of it. This condition is not to be taken lightly. It is a long term, uncurable condition, which is a part of their & now your life. Please get all the training and education on it as you possibly can. God Bless You & Give you Patience! :) CraftieMom

I don't find ADHD such a big deal. I don't know why red dye is an issue, but it definately makes my sons hyper and unfocused as does TV and prolonged computer use. I do not use meds but that does require more patience. Routine is necessary as focusing is an issue. It's best only to give one direction at a time. Jogging or bike riding in the morning helps my boys focus better during school. (We homeschool now, but it helped when they were in school also,) I like this because my sons get a feel for when they are not focused and can do something about it for themselves. They do have trouble shifting from one activity to another, but are not aggressive about it. They've never run off on me. They do tend to be impulsive and don't always look for cars or think before they reach the top of a tree that the branches might not hold up so it is necessary, in that regard, to pay closer attention to what their doing. I do not let my boys use their ADHD as an excuse. If they feel it is interfering with them in someway, I have them help me come up with a solution that will help them. As an example, my kids all do 15 to 30 min of chores a day. We very them so noone feels like they're doing more then someone else. This was difficult for one of the boys so he asked for the same chore everyday. Another liked the varied chores and made himself a list he could check off. I think the more they can learn to manage the condition on their own, the better. They have to live with it forever and the world will not always adjust for them.

Congratulations and my best wishes. An excellent book for you to read about ADHD is by Dr. Russell Barkley. He is a nationally renowed expert on this subject and his book for parents is wonderful. However, I would not assume that just because someone, whomever that is, decided your child has ADHD that your child does. She may, but she may not. I'd strongly urge you to get your own independent evaluation by a mental health professional who has lots of experience evaluating adopted and foster children. That person should review all the records and previous evalutions, meet with you and the child, and be able to screen for other things including mental health issues, sensory-integration issues, etc. You need your own person to evaluate and recommend treatment, if indicated. Best regards,

Alot of people make a big deal out of ADHD ,and I seen alot of children in my family with ADHD,I just found out that my son has ADHD about 8 months ago and at first like most parents I did'nt understand it so I did alot of research over the internet and got as much info from my childrens Doctor.There is alot of meds out there and I seen what Ritalin does to children and also seen that when a child is on Ritalin they seem to have to take sleeping pills because they can't sleep.I never would let my son take Ritalin and my Doctor would not put him on it anyway I just seen what that does to a small child and it scared me.My Doctor did have to try him on alot of the meds for to see what ones would work for him and during that time I seen my son change and I thought I would have a wild child for the rest of my life.lol But we found the right med after trying many and the med that we found for him is called concerta and it is a release tablet and he takes one once a day he is able to control him self and listen when we say something.But as someone else state I would not let him act out and get away with and blame it on ADHD.He still had to understand what the diffrents was between right and wrong.I know at times it is hard to handle a child with ADHD,But in time it does get easyer.

First off, it is not unusual for children to be misdiagnosed with ADHD when they infact have sensory-integration disorders (you'd need an Occupational therapist certified in sensory-integration to make that diagnosis and to teach you the appropriate treatment interventions to use). More children who come through the child welfare system (who have experienced maltreatment) have sensory-integration disorders than in the general population. So, I'd get a good assessment to be sure this is the correct diagnosis. Have a social worker or psychologist, a licensed mental health professional, who has experience with ADHD and with sensory-integration disorders evaluate your child. Once clue of a misdiagnosis is that medications that should work, don't or "wear off." Second, it is a good idea to occassionally talk with your doctor about new treatments. For example, since January a new medication, Strattera, has been available that is the first Non-stimulant medication for ADHD. It works quite well and does not have the same side-effects as stimulants. The main thing is to find a good mental health professional whom you can trust to act as your advisor. Best wishes,

Hello, I have a son with ADHD and it really isn't that big of a deal. You do have to give them a more attention and be more aware of what they are doing. As mentioned by someone earlier, my son will also climb to the top of a 30 foot tree and not consider that the branches might break. My son takes a new medication, Strattera, and it has worked VERY well. He actually participated in the study prior to it being approved by the FDA. I also did a lot of research on the internet and we are now considering adopting a special needs child too. I think it is wonderfull that you are adopting an ADHD child. You will have to have more patience but I don't think you will regret it. However, I know the severity of the ADHD can really vary. I would recomment finding out as much information as possible prior to the adoption. I have been amazed at how many people have commented that my son has suddenly "outgrown" his old behaviors. Good luck-I hope everything goes well for you!

MY 10yr old daughter is ADHD and on Strattra and very low dose of Concerta. She is doing well. We have never seen any difference in her behavior with or without diet changes. As a single parent we had to really get in a routine and that does help her with organizing herself. The mornings were impossible until we had a strick schedule to follow getting ready now takes 45 mins down from 1 and half to 2 hours. I have also seen a big difference in her if I give her outside time to ride her bike, skate or jump on the trampoline for an hour or so after school instead of jumping into homework (another source of a great battle). The activity helps settle her down. Don't be scared of the single parent with ADHD it can be done but you may run into some rough spots. Join a parent support group for adoption or ADHD it helps to talk to someone else and brain storm new ideas. Good Luck and Congrats!

ADD/ ADHD...this is probably one of the most common Dx in kids who just cant sit still. THere are meds out there. My child was also dx with ADHD, but what not really sure if that is what it is yet, though he does fit the profile. I would take a child with ADHD if thats all it is. (im not minimizing it, but there is tx for it.) If the child has other DX's, i would be more concerned with them. I would suggest you read about ADHD and get real comfortable with the knowledge and understanding of your ADHD child. structure/ structure/ structure/ routine/ routine routine/...we have trying our hardest to be so consistant with his routine. But we are still in the early stages of this. We have only had him for about 4 months now. dadfor2