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My husband and I are strongly considering adopting due to infertility. I am really scared of being denied due to something stupid I was involved in when I was 14. I was arrested with my boyfriend for possession of marijuana but the charges were dropped.
I was not "into" drug use but did experiment when I was a teenager. That is so far in my past now I almost forget about it but now that we are considering adoption I am so scared that it is going to come back to haunt me. Today, I am a 30 year old professional CPA, attend church every week, would have no problem obtaining excellent references...etc.
Is there is a time limit on what information you have to disclose? Also, I was 13 or 14 - and I thought that once you turn 18 your juvenile files are sealed - is this correct?
If anyone has any info that would be helpful!
Thanks.
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Gosh, I didn't even think to worry about it when I was filling out my homestudy, I just put down the truth, and the social worker didn't mention the subject in any of our discussions. She didn't seem to care about youthful sex either, mostly she seemed to be interested in finding out about the age and circumstances in which I first 'emancipated' from home.
If people who experimented with drugs as teenagers couldn't adopt, there would be an awful lot of babies and kids waiting for a family!
Heck, its been at least a couple decades since youthful drug use would even affect getting a security clearance.
And now that I think of it, even the children of some of our Presidents wouldn't be allowed to adopt if drug-use was a disqualifier!
My husband and I started the adoption process in November 2002 and are currently waiting for our referral. We have received our INS approval (we are adopting internationally), but there were a couple of bumps in the road as my husband had a DUI on his record and was charged with assault. The bumps occurred because we failed to disclose the assault charge; he was embarrassed about it and didn't feel that it was necessary to disclose it because all charges were dropped. However, because he was fingerprinted it did come up, and the INS views non-disclosure as the applicant is attempting to hide something.
My advice to you is disclose it even though it was many years ago. They'll simply want an explanation as to the circumstances surrounding the incident, and you may have to do some additional running around to get the necessary court documents, but in the long run you'll be better off.
We were lucky that our agency knew what to do when the INS discovered the assault charge, and they walked us through what needed to be done. Our application to adopt could have been rejected. Honesty is always the best policy.
Bonnie,
Regarding our homestudy - How far back will they want copies of our medical records? Ours are in several states, and we want to be prepared, but don't want to pay for reproducing records in advance that we may not need.
Any advice you can give us will help. Oh, and we are in Washington state if this matters. Thanks for your help.
Liz
This depends on what state you are in, In my state at age 18 your Juvenile record is not automatically sealed. Rather, at age 18 you can go before a judge and request that your juvenile record be sealed. but if you don't go to court and do that , it is not sealed. Also. I had a friend who had a SEALED juvenile record and when she applied for a state foster care license , they had all of her juvenile record even though it was sealed. They explained to her that they have access to it as a state agency but that a private agency would not have access to it. So hopefully most other states are not like my state!
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Is there a way to see your records before your homestuddy?
When I was married (now divorced)
I was charged but not arrested, just fined for abusing my husband! lol
I can laugh now because at the time, I admitted to the doing, but I now know it was self defense as I was the victim of an abusive relationship.
I guess its not a big deal if I tell my worker as I was the victim, but I've had finger prints done since then and even have my state card. I dont think they'd give it to me if this showed.. would they?
Don't worry too much about it. We found that the actual incident wasn't as important as being honest about it. In my husband's case, all charges were dropped, but because he had been fingerprinted the night of his arrest, it showed up. Just make sure you explain it to the social worker and on the INS paperwork if they as for info on your criminal background.
Good luck!
I just re-read my post! lol
What I did do, is I hit him in self defense to get him off of me.
They asked me if I hit him, I said yes.. end of story.
They said they could arrest me but wouldnt because I was caring for kids at the time.
I went to court.. ahh! I had larangitus and I couldnt speak to self defend myself. I just paid the $80.00 and walked out.
I've been finger printed and back ground checked and have continued to do nanny and childcare without a problem.
Thanks.
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