The Gap In My Heart

My quest is not over,
only postponed
For I must get on with my life,
yet I don’t know which way to turn
I feel as if I need her by my side,
where that gap lies.
I miss her yes,
I want her No,
for she was only my birth mother
she did not raise me to be who I am today,
I feel as If I should hate her
for giving me up
for makin me feel this rollercoaster of emotions
yet I love her
and someday hope to find her
but not today for today;
I am searching for me and not for her