Motherhood is tough. Adopting a child is tough. But both are so incredibly worth it, and both offer huge perks. Here are just a few reasons why I feel incredibly lucky to have become a mother through adoption. There are just so many big and little perks to this way of building a family. Even though every adoptive mom goes through dark times, adoption offers some of the biggest perks available to hopeful parents. Read on to discover some of the biggest perks adoption brings.
6 Perks to Being an Adoptive Mom
An adoptive mom’s list of 6 specific reasons why becoming a mother through adoption has been uniquely wonderful for her.
Kira Mortenson
July 08, 2014
1. Some Good Genes
I live near a friend who has 5 children who look so much alike. It’s so fun to see them walking through a store with their matching blonde hair, blue eyes, and identical noses. I know so many families where their kids all look so similar, and I think this would be so much fun to see as a parent. But on the flip side, all three of my children have completely different genetics. I get to experience having children with blonde hair, light brown hair, very dark brown hair, thick hair, strikingly blue eyes, big round brown eyes, short and stocky build, a chubby baby, a skinny baby, olive skin that tans beautifully, and white skin that burns way too easily in the summer. They all have such a unique look that is totally their own.
2. “Aw, they’re so cute!”
As parents, we love taking countless pictures of our children. That’s basically all my Instagram account is. . . pictures of my kids. They do something that is hilarious, brilliant or beautiful in our eyes and we want to share this with others. Our friends will tell us how cute our kids are, but we really know that they think that their kids are number one. Can you imagine sending a picture of your uniquely adorable child to someone who whole-heartedly agrees with you that they are the cutest thing on the face of the earth? I get to enjoy this perk, and so I send pictures to my kids’ birth parents regularly.
3. United by Adoption
I graduated high school with a girl who was an acquaintance at the time. We knew of each other, but we didn't ever hang out. Years later, we were able to reconnect while we were both working on our adoption papers. Our journeys to parenthood bonded us together in a way that nothing else could have. She is such a close friend now because we have walked such similar paths. Now our kids are enjoying a friendship because we reconnected through adoption. I have met so many incredible people through the world of adoption. This community of adoptive parents, adoptees, and birth families is like nothing else I've ever been a part of.
4. We Worked HARD For This
If you’ve ever gone through infertility, you know the feeling of your heart just dropping to the floor when you see yet another negative pregnancy test. Having absolutely no control over something you want so badly is devastating. Parenthood is the most wonderfully challenging experience of my life. It is so hard to keep my patience at times and to keep my energy up with 3 toddlers running around. No matter what, I know I would love and appreciate my children. But having gone through infertility and the adoption process, I really know that I appreciate my role as a parent even more than I would have not going through the experiences I have. It is a miracle in every way that I’m a parent, and I strive to remember that daily.
5. My special relationship with my children’s birth parents
My husband and I decided to be open to the idea of having an open adoption while we were getting our paperwork finished up. We’re so happy we made this decision. Open adoption is not always the right option for everyone and every situation, but it was right in our case and has been an incredible experience for us. I love my children’s birth parents in a way that is different than how I love anyone else. How can I ever put into words the love I have for someone who made me a mother? I love them with all my heart and look forward to our visits and hearing all about what is going on in their lives. They’re my family now, and I’m their family, too.
6. We Are Something Special
My family is special for many reasons. We love each other, we have tons of inside jokes between the five of us, we have the best extended family, and so much more. The fact that we adopted our first two children isn't something that comes up that often in everyday life, but when it does come up, it is something that is fun to share with others and makes us even more unique and special. I wouldn't change how we build our family for anything in the world.
Kira Mortenson
Kira became a mother through adoption twice and once through a high-risk pregnancy. She and her husband opened their hearts to open adoption five years ago and now enjoy a beautiful relationship with their children's birth mothers, who are best friends, and their son's birth father. She has served as a co-chair for a chapter of Families Supporting Adoption, and enjoys doing adoption presentations for schools in her community. When she isn't changing poopy diapers and making mac n cheese, she spends her time teaching dance, attempting to exercise, and spending time with her husband, Mike. Instagram ID: Kiralm
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