The parents of three children unexpectedly become pregnant and choose to place their fourth child for adoption.
My name is Allison. I am happily married and just getting ready to turn 30. My husband and I are birth parents to a beautiful boy named Sam.
Our story began years ago and we now have three children—two boys and one girl—whom we are raising, ages 13, 12, and 3. They are all beautiful, health, thriving children. Needless to say, we were young when we began. My husband and I decided back in 2001 that we were finished having children. We went to the doctor and filled out all the paperwork but there was a 45 day waiting period.
One week before the procedure, I went to the doctor and found out I was pregnant. It was devastating and a rush all at the same time. We went through so many mixed emotions. The thought of having another child was the very last thing either of us could have wanted or did want. We both were trying to work and finish school, just to keep our heads above water. The three children we already had were more than enough to handle.
One month into my pregnancy, my husband and I truly started to think about what we were going to do. My husband comes from a Baptist background and a religious upbringing, and his father is a minister in their church with a pro-life belief. I, on the other hand, come from a “hippie” family background who are pro-choice, and to top all that off, I am Caucasian and my husband is Afro-American. My first thought was to get an abortion and go on with our plans, but my husband just could not handle the thought of us going through with that. “Life,” he said, “is as precious as the air we breathe.”
So, I brought up adoption. We discussed it over and over and over. Both the pro’s and the con’s of doing it or not doing it. Finally, we decided to make an adoption placement plan for our unborn son.
I immediately started researching and we agreed on an adoption lawyer, Mr. Durand Cook, out of Los Angeles. We lived in San Diego. He welcomed us and made us feel good about our decision. We spoke several times before meeting in March, 2002.
We went to his office to meet with a couple, Ruth and Jerome. The thing I liked so much was that there were no forms to read about them; we didn’t want that. We gave a description of our likes and wants for the baby, and he matched it according to what he felt would be a good match.
Then that fateful day came. We were so very nervous. I will never forget when my husband and I had a moment to ourselves before meeting Ruth and Jerome. He looked at me and said, “We are doing the right thing. This baby is going to have good life and two sets of loving parents, which is so much more than so many children have.”
I’ll never forget when Ruth (the adoptive mom) walked in. She was glowing as if she were pregnant herself. She and Jerome had a glowing spirit about them that was so calming for me. We met and talked for what seemed to be hours. We laughed and we cried. (I cried.)
The time finally came at the end of the day to think about what we wanted to do. We were so sure they would be perfect in every way, so we asked them to be parents to our unborn son.
They felt the happiness we should have felt when we found out we were pregnant. Don’t get me wrong, we love Sam and always will. We just knew we were not ready for another baby, but he was meant to be. He was meant to come and bless so many lives, and that he has done. It’s amazing what one life can do for so many people. He truly is an angel.
Sam was born in June, 2002 to Allison, Kinta, Ruth, and Jerome. He has two brothers and one sister. And even though we now see him through emails and pictures every couple of months, it’s as though he is with us everyday.
Ruth and Jerome have been wonderful parents and people. We know all there is to know about Sam. My husband and our three children are at peace with our decision. Sam is often the topic of conversation around the dinner table and in our day-to-day discussions.
I just hope so many other people out there have as wonderful adoptive parents and as good of a transition as we did. The gift of life is irreplaceable.