Another seizure :-(

Well....after spending the whole night in the ER last night and returning at 5am. Momma, Me and Aria returned from our adventures in late night/early morning ER drama. Kiddo had another gut wrenching seizure! Today she is more adorable than ever, but last night she looked like her life just hung on a thread. It kills you to see your children that way, eyes rolled back in their heads listless body and other than a little eye movement, no indication what so ever that your baby is ever coming back to normal, until finally....they do. THANK GOD SO this means we will be seeing a neurologist and begin a battery of tests :-( I believe in my heart of hearts that she will be just fine, in fact I know she will....but we have to go through the motions. My sw did inform me that Aria was one of the most severely drug exposed babies they had had at the agency....news to me. Well...I would adopt her one thousand times over and over again, she is the most beautiful, loving, wonderful, smart and HEALTHY child I have ever seen and I would do it again and again! In fact as my little one is being poked and prodded (literally, with blood tests, a cathater...etc) she would wave to passer bys, befriended a homeless patient, a nurse (who was not ours, but would check in a and talk to only her ever hour of the 11 hours we were in the ER) a biracial family across the hall, an 80 year old woman, who would lift up her head all the time, smile and wave at her. We kept wondering who Aria was waving at and when we looked over we say the sweet wrinkled face of a very old, very sick woman. Aria was the light of the ER, in fact when we left we heard people in the rooms down the hall talking about "the beautiful little drug baby who had a seizure" She actually had two :-( last night. People would pass our room and comment "oh she is beautiful" It was funny and at 5am....an itsy bit annoying, but I was so proud of my little rock star. She only cried when she was being prodded, and eventually ended up with a 104 degree temp, which made her worse. We think this one may have been a febrile seizure, however, the fever began after the seizure started so we are not sure, but I am hoping it is, however we will have yet more doctors and tests and see what happens :-( We also cancelled her bday party til, next week, so that she is up for the party...as well as it looks like rain in these parts....so that's our update. On the sorta good news front. Aria's second seizure has triggered the "all systems go!" on having her classified as a medically fragile child (California is SO supportive with services) and I will be receiving the medically fragile rate....so YALE!!!! Here we come! I might have to fight for the rate, but because Aria's toxicology was so high at birth and with the seizures, it has added a level of medically uncertainty to her case which classifies her as a medical needs child. I have to go to classes for special needs...but I am really excited about doing this because I want to know what to do if she has another seizure. We had our second ambulance ride last night and I....I don't know I guess I would call again, it looks like she's dying when she has these. And they said that potentially the brain could be damaged and it's better to get immediate medical help....so I just stuck the state with another ambulance ride bill.....yikes. I pray to GOD!!!! I never have to see her go through that again. At first they thought it was a petit mal, but we finally realized that she is having Grand Mal seizures, just a different kind that the thrash about kind. I don't know what would be scarier, thrashing about or her kind where she tenses up her head fixes to the side and her eyes roll back in her head......oh boy I hate these! So that's all so far. Forever Family I hope you are having fun on your trip and that when you come home, you will be able to pick up your son. Thank you all for the bday wishes, I can't believe that when I started this journal I was dreaming of my child and today she is home and has just turned one!!!!! Nothing makes me believe more in dreams coming true than that. THANK YOU GOD! Thanks for everything.