I'm ok really it was just some thoughts......................

I had a cold today and spent a few extra hours in bed. It ran through my mind that the only true time I may be able to : Find my birth father Know who my birth grandparents are (aka Dottyes birth parents) Know who all of my siblings are Understand why Will be once I die. That may very well be the only time I get to know those things I have spent close to 15 years looking for. I have a new job. I love my husband I love my pets There are still so many days where it gets me down. Karen and I do not speak. We don't not speak I think we are just done saying anything. Guess we'll see if she sends me that Christmas card. Lord knows I stop waiting for last years. I really am a good hearted person. I really thought this could have turned out much different. I was even ready for bmom to say no way. I just never thought she'd be dead. When, and I really mean it. When will it all stop hurting? Like for good? Not for 2 months. But for good.