For My Sake
Being it’s almost Mother’s Day,I thought I’d share this poem that I wrote for my birth mother.I wrote this when I was at my lowest point. No one would give me any information & I had decided to give up my search.The day after I wrote this, I got a call from someone that had known my birth mother. I dream of you nearly every night I wonder at the thought of you. when you carried me as I write this for you, my mother,
so, my search will end now, not as a lark. The day after I wrote this.I learned that my birth mother had died Aug 8 1989.I will always regret not searching for her sooner. © B. Buck, August 1993
O.K. here goes:
looking down on me- eyes so bright
with the tears you must have shed
at the decision you had to make
for my sake
what did you look like?
Your favorite thing to do?
was your hair dark like mine?
did your dark eyes shine
with the thought of this new life
growing under your heart?
what was it that I don’t yet understand
that made it necessary for us to part?
for my sake
did you tell me all of the things I’d do & see?
People I’d meet,the woman I’d grow up to be?
did you tell me how much I was loved?
did you pray to God above,
that I would be cared for & loved,
and protected, as you were unable to do,
for my sake
I think of all the things I would tell you,
what my life has been like,
the things I like to do.
I would tell you of the closeness I feel to you,
do you feel it,too?
I would tell you of the woman I’m trying to be.
because, you see, I must think of these things,
for my sake.
because this is whats best,
and I will meet you one day,
whether in this life or the next.
someday I will understand all the things
that have been kept in the dark.
that you did what you did,
but because your love for me was so deep,
and so great.
that you broke your own heart,
not out of selfish desire,
but for my sake