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I have been in contact with my bmother for almost a year now. My bfather and her are married, and it doesn't look as though he really wants a relationship with me. She tells me he is embarrassed of the situation, and I guess for the time being I can deal with that. The question that I have for all of you out there is that my grandparents (her father and stepmother) are alive and from what she has told me is that he didn't want her to give me up and that he will be so excited to know that we made contact. And I asked her, how do you know that he would be excited? And she told me that when I was trying to find her, he knew about the letter that the adoption agency had sent, and he was hoping that she would contact me, but, she didn't. I guess to get to the point, she hasn't told my grandparents that we have reunited, and I feel it has been awhile, and I really want her to tell them. I feel and sort of know that my bfather doesn't support her in reuniting, but, she feels strongly enough that she doesn't care. Why wouldn't she tell the grandparents? Because of him? I asked her once about it, and she told me that she was going to tell them, but my grandfather would drive me crazy calling me and he will be excited, but still she has NOT TOLD HIM! Should I say something, or do something? I am sort of angry that she hasn't, and I need advice. Please someone out there, give me some advice on what I should do!:confused:
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Since you have an ongoing relationship with your birthmom and know that her father supported reunion, there is no reason not to ask again if she has told him. Knowing you desire this, the ball should be in her court. Tell her you would really like to get to know him and wouldn't mind at all if he "drove you crazy" with contact, unless it would. If she is protecting her hubby, your birthfather, she can tell your grandfather to cool it around them while hubby adjusts to this whole "coming out." God Bless.
busybee,
Julie is right. Since your b-mom is comfortable with reunion, please don't hesitate to approach her once again in hopes she'll talk to your grandfather. Even though she might be hesitant for fear of causing a conflict of interest in her marriage, keep trying. You just might catch her in a vulnerable mood and to your surprise, will probably talk to your grandfather. If you don't mind me asking, is there a specific reason why your b-father is "embarassed" about the situation? Sounds to me like there are some unresolved issues on his part...
Many blessings
;)