starting search

I have been dealing with Batshaw and I am telling you that they have no problem saying that our biological parents whre at fault, poor, irrisponsible or whatever. The fact is, Batshaw employees are not prefessionals. Call the order of professional social workers and ask. Ordre professionnel des travailleurs sociaux 5757, av. Decelles, bureau 335, Montral (Qubec) H3S 2C3 T驩l.: (514) 731-3925, sans frais : 1 888 731-9420 Tlcopieur : (514) 731-6785 P.S. Looking for birth parents. I was born at Catharine Booth Hospital In N.D.G. August 3rd, 1971. My name was Marc Anthony. I have given @$450 to Batshaw and all they have given me where undelivered promises. This has been going on for years.

I called the order and this Gillian Banks has never been a professional within the order of social workers. See what I mean? And then they go ahead and make these type of damaging statements. Be cool and ask her for proof. Something in writing...this will help us get the mandate away from Batshaw and into the hands of some real professionals. This is exactly what is happening with me. I have nothing to gain by asking you to do this except for maybe a reunion with my parents, siblings, etc...Batshaw is just in it for a 53 million dollar a year budget. In other words Batshaw can be likened with an employment program. I wonder if this type of thing goes on across the board. Thanks

Hi all who were born in Quebec. I recently found my friend's bmom this way: 1. Contact ParentFinders Montreal to see if they can give you the birthmother's name, if you do not have it yet. 2. Search for her name in the "Might's" City Directory for where your bmom lived (or try a few surrounding cities, if you are not sure where she was from). They can be found in most libraries. These annual directories existed for most cities and list every person over 18 who lived at each address, as well as their occupation. You can see if this matches your non-id info. Also, take the names who also lived in that household and search for them. 3. The way I found my friend's bmom: I looked for obituaries for the two parents listed at the same address as the bmom. Found the bgrandmother's obituary from many years later and it listed the bmom's married name! Best of luck to all who are searching. PM me if I can help any of you. Just one word of warning- although I am sure you have heard it all before- my friend's bmom was not interested in contact and was not very nice about it, to put it mildly, so just "brace" yourself as much as possible. Kelly

Kelly, Great ideas. Thanks so much for the help!

I've used this route before and they are at the mercy of Villa maria social services...I wonder if your friend's mother got a call from Batshaw regarding your friend professionalism or something to that effect.... Thanks

Marc, Who is at the mercy of Ville Marie social services? Kelly

Kelly, Thanks for your support and ideas. Regards Liz

I just think that they have misrepresentred themselves all too often and many of the professional orders will agree. I also want to let anyone who thinks that Batshaw is really going to help them find their parents or other family members to be aware that MAYBE this might not be the case. I really wish I could say that the individuals that have misrepresented themselves are a minority, but this is not the case. When you blow off the sugar coating all you get is a rather pugnant and large pile of *S. I do believe that there must a minority and I do mean minority of people at Batshaw that would really like to help but as all bureaucracies at work, there is a fair amount of hand holding. So the buck stops there and there it stays and stays and stays....ever wonder why Batshaw has noy yet to date even asked the government to open the files (might be logical and even helpful). That would reduce the work load for everyone!!!! Yea!!! But wait...in the present state they can employ many other people to "pretend" to help turn the wheels...ah the proverbial employment program.

I am happy to help anyone who needs ideas about how to search here in Quebec. Although I am neither an adoptee nor a bmom, my best friend is an adoptee and I recently found her bfamily for her- at her request, of course. I understand- as well as anyone on the "outside" can- why an adoptee would want to search and truly believe that I would need to know too. I know nothing at all about Batshaw employees since I have never had to deal with them. I do know that ParentFinders Montreal gave me my friend's birthmother's name. If anyone needs any help- please feel free to PM me. Sicnerely, Kelly

Kells....outside of the appent need for you to do something for someone else, may I sk what else do you receive in doing this. Another thing is...could you have the person you DID help post a mesage to that effect? Thanks. Sorry for being so suspicious, it's just that there are so many people out there trying to take advantage of people's needs by pretending to be genuinly helpful until they start asking for $$$$$. People should just come out and mention that part right up front so that we might have a fair choice in the matter. Promising to do things that seems no one alse can do is certainly...almost worth investing in....untill you have a couple of "experiences".:confused:

Stephen, If you reread my posts, you will see that I very clearly stated that I am NOT a search angel, that I do NOT do this regularly, and that the ONLY search I have ever done was for my friend. I am not offering a service of any sort, nor is there ANYTHING in this for me. Whether you choose to believe it or not, my best friend turned 40 this year and when I asked what she would like as a gift, she replied that she would like to find her bmom. I Said that if she was serious, I would help her ( I am very good at research and I truly enjoy it. This friend is also like a sister to me and I have always understood her need to know her roots). She said she was ready to search, so I began this project. It took about 2 1/2 weeks to get confirmation of her bom's name from ParentFinders Montreal and then 4 1/2 weeks of working practically night and day to find and contact her bmom. (By the way, as I stated in many other posts, her bmom was NOT happy to be found, but that is another story). So, as you see, I am not giving anyone false hope, nor wasting anyone's time or energy, all of which you have accused me of today. It will not cost anyone more than a trip to their local library or maybe even just a phone call to the reference desk. While I was searching, a kind stranger e-mailed me to recommend the MIGHT'S CITY DIRECTORIES to me and that source is what led me to my friend's bmom. I am merely sharing that info with others. I did not know of the existence of these directories before, as I am sure many people searching do not either. (In our case, the directory listed the name of bmom's parents- which allowed me to find bmom's mother's obituary-which provided the bmom's MARRIED NAME. That is how we found her.) Many people from this site have pm'ed me and I have always been happy to share the "Steps" I followed in my search. I have never asked for anything in return. So, as hurt and angry as you may be by your own situation (which I know nothing about), I don't think I deserved the "remember who your friends are" comment in your previous post. I would still be happy to help anyone who pm's me. Kelly

In my experiences as a searcher of my own parents I have come across the proverbial wolf in sheep's clothing far too often. I will not make any appologies for warning anyone of the potencial danger in dealing with people who make certain claims. The fact that you mentioned that Parentfinders told you that their sources whre confidencial is still troubling me. Why would you say that. Make sure everyone know that Parentfinders is a a couple of poeple who found thier own child and in their retirement have decided to give part of their lives' over to help people ( like me and others ) in locating their families. They have not hidden anything from me as they seem to have an open door policy, it seems. I would like very much to hear your clarification regarding this matter. That is still a "bone of contention" as it points to the fact that you would like us to believe that there is some mystery behind thier operation. Mystery is something that can leave the taste of mistrust. You still maintain that you had found the birthmother yet they did not meet or they met and it was a bad experience or they never met. You did say that you had found a name and then went on to mention that the experience was not good. This leaves me to imagine that they did meet. Waiting for clarification.

Stephen, you obviously have some issues that have nothing to do with me personally, so I will simply discontinue this dialogue with you. To everyone else, I have continued to check this forum since I found it during my search for my friend's bmom on the odd chance that a name would ring a bell or that there was someone who had info similar to my friend's so that I could point them in the direction that worked for me. For those of you who missed the story- we sent a letter to my friend's bmom with all of our contact info. She contacted both my friend and I and let us know that she was not interested in meeting. Fortunately, in the process of searching, I also located a bcousin who gave my friend some medical info and family history and is willing to maintain contact via e-mail and phone. I know that I should not let people like Stephen hurt my feelings when I know I have done nothing wrong, but it still bothers me to be treated like that- even by some stranger online. If anyone wants to ask me anything more about my search, feel free to pm me- I am not coming back to this thread. Kelly

Again. The meeting you had with your friends birth mother was stated by you in one of your threads went like this "it was not pleasant". Did you meet her or not. Just a question. My name is Stephen Sockett and I live at 3260 Ridgewood in Montreal quebec, I have nothing to hide...stranger. I know for a fact that you are out to make a buck now. Discontinue what you want. I never attacked you. I just wanted clarification. If that constitutes an attack.... People like this will lure you in and then promise you you things that they can only deliver on by you sending some $$$$. If services like Batshaw that actualy have the file sealed in hospital basements...like the Catharine Booth Hospital....that's where I was born, opened the files there would be much resolution. How is it that people who are not lawyers (who want your money to...that's differant...ha) and not REALLY related to the process can get to this information....outside of breaking in and stealing it? This is just food for thought as there are many parasites out there willing to take advantage of our sitiation. If this Kellster was sooooooooo honest, who is she? Who is her friend? Why does she hide all her info? Why does her story change? Why do she say things that are not true? I am certain that Kellster is out to make a buck. I don't want people to be fooled by this type of approach. Fight in the arena that we have, and that is not in the land of amke believe. Have a great day.

Marc Anthony, if anyone has a problem I think it's you. Kellster has not changed her story at all and I think you are reading stuff into her posts.Go back and re read them. You have obviously been burnt by someone, but you shouldn't automatically think everyone out there is out to make a buck. Kelly has an honest interest in helping people but you're too angry about what ever to see it. Good luck in your search and stop being so hard on people. Tina