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Originally Posted By carolynI was just wondering if there was out there who is considering becoming a foster parent? Any advice for those of us that are thinking about doing this? I may be posting this on the wrong site. Any sites for foster parents out there. Thanks
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Originally Posted By JuanitaWe have been foster parents for 16 years and not one day of those years do I regret. Foster parenting is one of the most rewarding givings that you can experience. It is very hard to say goodbye when a child leaves, however every child no matter how small will remember the safe and happy times with you.It takes a special person to open not only there home but also their heart with a child that you no nothing about. You have to be willing to give of yourself even when you feel there is nothing else to give and you have to have enough sources in which to replenish yourself.You have to be able to mend a broken heart quickly, not only with a child but also your own when that child leaves, there are so many children who need a home we must remember that even if its only one we made a difference in their life. We have adopted three siblings that were placed with us in foster care,the good that comes from helping children is so rewarding, I would highly recomend foster care.
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Originally Posted By LindaI have been a special needs adoption specialist for nearly eight years now. Lots and lots of ups and downs. I just want to say to you that I thank our God for foster moms like you! You're one in 10,000, I'm afraid. We sure need more people who are able to give without having to get something in return. That's a God-given talent. There are so very many children who need good homes, foster and adoptive. People who are looking out for themselves usually get what they're looking at. Look out for the child and the world changes, believe me. Stop looking at the courts and the system and just look at the kids. Do what you can. Your rewards will be mighty. Not easy, but certainly doable and true. Not for everyone, but for those who can do it...nothing sweeter. Thanks, Juanita.
Originally Posted By ColleenThis is to Linda and Juanita. First Juanita you truely are a special person and you sound so upbeat and inspirational. Linda, I would love to hear more about special needs adoption. I feel my true calling is to be the "parent" to special needs children. But the state of IL really ties your hands when it comes to helping these kids. If you are on here again please reply I would like to get as much info from you as possible. Thanks
Originally Posted By ArlieHello, Colleen.I live in Illinois and am beginning to explore becoming a foster parent. Can you elaborate on how the State of Illinois "ties your hands"? I'm really nervous about the whole process. I know I have a lot to offer a child, but I know, too, that I'm just one person--a working adult--and want to work very hard to find a good match, one I can handle but still feel I'm contributing something very important to the life of a child.Arlie in Chicago
Originally Posted By colleenI want to be a foster parent to kids with special needs. In the state of Il you are only allowed to heve 6 children in your home. That includes biological, adopted and foster children. Special needs children count as 2 children. So for example you could have 3 kids with special needs or 4 kids (normal) and 1 with special needs etc.. just as long as the number adds up to 6. I have 3 kids (normal) one special needs in the eyes of the state that is 5 kids and I cant take anymore special needs because I only have 1 place left. It is frustrating me because one of our children (my stepdaughter) is 14 and is living with her mother (even though my husband has custody) She comes to visit and stays a few days at a time but spends 90% of her time with her mom. But the state still counts her as one of our places. I recently saw a child with severe problems who is up for adoption. And he is in an institution and has been for years, We offered to take him in as a foster child to give him as normal a life as possible, but we got turned down because of this number thing (to many kids). There are exceptions to the rule and I have spoken with different case workers and adoption workers who have said they know of foster homes that have more than 6 kids even one family which has 8 kids and 6 of them have special needs. Obviosly this person has connections that I have not yet found. That is what I meant by tying my hands. As far as your comment on finding a "good match" you never really know what these kids will be like. The worst sounding cases may be the best and that perfect baby could really be a major strain. Each case worker is different and some give you truthful info and others sugar coat things just to get a kid in your house. I would like to talk with you more if you want. Write me back here again and maybe we can exchange email address or meet in a chat room some time. Colleen
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Originally Posted By Sandy DavisHello..I'm a foster mom..It's a long story how I become one..Our foster daughter is 2..I was her sitter since she was 4 weeks old..If you want to talk..Email me at dizzy38@yahoo.com or ssdavis@in-touch.net..Would love to hear from you..I could use a new friend too..Things aren't always easy..Sandy
Originally Posted By MariaYes, I'm considering foster parenting. Not really sure all what's involved. I'm going to try and attend an information meeting given by DSS in two weeks. I ope to find out more then. I'd love to have a child but afraid of fertility treatment costs and emotional drain, have looked af foreign adoption but so expensive! It's all so confusing! What about you?
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Originally Posted By LoriI am not only a foster parent, but I am also a caseworker for a private agency. There is nothing more enjoyable than seeing the face of a child who now has a life they never knew existed. I would not say that it is for everyone, but if you love kids and you have a big heart, you can't go wrong. I hope this helps. Good luck!!!
Originally Posted By KennieMy mother is a structured foster parent and has been for almost twenty years. It can be very difficult at times and foster children often have special needs, but if you're "made of the right stuff", it'll be worth it. I reccomend that you educate yourself as much as you can about the types of problems you may anticipate having (depending on the history's and ages of the children).
Originally Posted By RhondaMy husband and I have been foster parents for just two years. We have five children of our own but have always wanted to be foster parents. We have had one placement that lasted 18mos. It was very emotional for me and I wonder if I should continue. The boy was removed due to behavioral probs and put into another home within the same agency where they placed him into a private school. I was agreeable to this but felt guilty due to "moving" him and the transition he had to go thru. It was affecting my own children and we both felt it was best for the foster son. Have you ever had to deal with this type of "re-placement". If so, how do you get past the "failed" feeling?
Originally Posted By TammyWe have been foster parents for about 6 years. Our first foster son was so sweet and we really loved him but we were unable to handle his behavioral problems also. We had no children of our own at the time though. But even though it was so long ago We still feel guilty . We wish there was something we could have done more. The last thing he needed was another rejection. He has since then, been adopted and although we dont know where he is we pray that he will someday contact us. The guilt never goes away. We thought of quitting but didnt and have seen many children come in and be sucessfully reunited with their families. Those are the ones I feel were successes. Dont ever quit there arent enough people to love those children who need us most. I hope this helps.You and your family will be in our prayers.Tammy
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Originally Posted By LindaDo it!! Get all the information you can so you know what you're getting into. DSS in my home town has informational meetings so you can see if it is something you want to pursue. I had alot of questions and they answered them before I entered into the training. It was the best thing I've ever done. Good luck.