travel stories

1. Where have I traveled to adopt? I traveled to adopt my wonderful daughter in 1997. She was living in the Xiamen Social Welfare Institute, Xiamen, China. Xiamen is in Fujian province, which is right across the straits from Taiwan. I flew from the eastern U.S. to Hong Kong, via Anchorage and Seoul, South Korea. In Seoul, there was a layover at the airport, and I got to watch a Buddhist ceremony dedicating an airport shop. I spent a couple of days resting up from jet lag in Hong Kong before flying, with my group, into mainland China to meet my daughter. Hong Kong was due to be returned to Chinese control shortly after my visit. After being in Xiamen for a week, I went to Guangzhou, where I had to obtain my daughter's visa at the U.S. Consulate. I spent my first Mother's Day as a Mom in Guangzhou. With visas in hand, my group returned to Hong Kong for a brief overnight, and then headed home to the U.S. 2. Did travel-related affect my choice of country? I knew, early on, that my daughter would be found in China, and never really considered another country seriously. I did not worry unduly about the fact that I would need to travel to adopt her. Actually, the length of travel for a Chinese adoption is very brief, just ten days to two weeks. Also, you travel with a group of other parents and a guide/translator, so you never feel alone or helpless, and stay in very good accommodations. 3. Before going abroad, what were my questions about the travel? My questions were probably no different from those of any adoptive parent. What is the weather in Xiamen? (That could be determined on the Internet.) What is Xiamen like? (Very prosperous and Westernized, the cleanest city in China, and a beautiful city with Florida climate and lots of beautiful flowers and trees.) What should I pack? (I went against all the recommendations and packed very heavily, which made me feel that I was prepared for anything that might arise -- and I was.) How was Korean Air? (I was razzed about choosing it, as it had had two well-publicized crashes; nonetheless, the service was wonderful and the flight smooth.) How were the airlines within China? (Same as any in the West -- Western planes, appropriate safety messages, etc., everything with signs in both English and Chinese.) Would I find a lot of squat toilets -- which I might not be able to cope with? (Actually, I never saw, much less used, a squat toilet.) Would I get sick, even if I was careful about eating and drinking? (I didn't have the slightest digestive upset; I did catch my daughter's bronchitis, but it wasn't severe.) 4. Where did I stay, and how were the accommodations? In Hong Kong, my adoption agency had access to excellent discounts at the J.W. Marriott Hotel. Hong Kong is an extremely expensive city, but the discounts made staying at the luxurious Marriott possible. In the hotel, I had a room with an absolutely marvelous king sized bed; a gorgeous bathroom with big soaking tub and separate, glass enclosed shower; upper floor, great views of Hong Kong; coffeemaker and coffee supplies; bathrobe; etc. The hotel had a very large and wonderful outdoor pool and health club. The service was extremely good, and all staff I encountered spoke English. It was attached to the Pacific Place Mall, one of the most upscale malls in China, where things like Ferragamo shoes and other luxury items were available. I usually ate in the mall or in a restaurant outside the hotel, although I did treat myself to one of the hotel's famous Western-style breakfasts, which was incredible -- and incredibly expensive. In short, it was like staying in a 5-star U.S. hotel in a city like New York. In Xiamen, my group stayed at the Holiday Inn Crowne Plaza Harborview. Although I had heard that some Chinese hotels were not very clean, my room was spotless. I saw the housekeepers cleaning the bathroom on hands and knees. Even the linens in my daughter's porta-crib (brand new, supplied by the hotel) were changed daily. The room had two Western-quality double beds, CNN and other English-language stations on the TV, good airconditioning, and a nice view of the city. It was a typical Holiday Inn room -- not exciting, but no surprises, either. The hotel dining room and room service offered full Western, Chinese, and Japanese menus. There was even an omelet chef in the dining room, making American-style omelets to order, on some days! The food was very good, and there were plenty of high chairs for adoptive families! The hotel also had a medical clinic (not too good), a health club (which I used only to weigh my daughter), and a business center (where I faxed info about my daughter to folks in the U.S.) The service was excellent, and I remember the place with fondness. Most adoptive families stay at the White Swan in Guangzhou, but it was full when we were there, so my agency put my group at the China Hotel. This is a huge luxury hotel, right across from where the annual Guangzhou Trade Fair is held. It is supposed to be at the same level of luxury as the White Swan. Besides regular hotel rooms and amenities, it has apartments, shops, a grocery store, and so on. My original room was fairly small and not terribly attractive. It had Chinese-style, rock-hard twin beds, a very ordinary bathroom, TV with English language stations, etc. My fellow group members and I complained to the management because our rooms were right near a part of the hotel that was being renovated; the sounds of jackhammers disturbed our children's naps. The next day, a senior hotel person met our tour bus and apologized, bowing profusely. He offered all of our groups transfers to the Executive Floor at no additional charge. I took advantage of the offer. My new room had marginally better twin beds and slightly better decor -- but no hairdryer; all of the previous rooms had them, so I guess China figures that people using the Executive Floor are men! But the room was definitely much quieter. The common areas, however, were very opulent -- lots of gold, marble, and mirrors. There was even a chamber music ensemble playing in the lobby one day.

4. (continued) The China Hotel's main dining room was excellent. The hotel also had a branch of the Hard Rock Cafe, where I spent the evening of my first Mother's Day as a Mom, with my group. (I have a great picture of my daughter and one other little girl under a picture of the Beatles!) 5. Did I get to know any other adoptive families while traveling? With China adoption, your dossier is generally submitted to China along with the dossiers of other families using your agency and completing their paperwork at about the same time. Usually, all the families in one dossier group get their referrals together and travel together. Many groups get to know each other during the long wait for referrals, and that often makes the travel easier. My group's dossiers went to China right before a big reorganization of that country's adoption system, and were caught up in all the changes. As a result, our wait was longer than customary, and there were lots of uncertainties. Those of us who lived fairly close to each other got together fairly often during the wait to share rumors, obsess, enjoy dinner, drink a little wine, and obsess some more. As a result, by the time we finally traveled, we knew each other pretty well. As a result of sharing the precious moments of meeting our children, going to our visa appointments, and so on together, we became even closer. We now have a formal reunion every year. Some of us also see each other at least once a month. Three of my daughter's closest friends happen to be from the group. While we were in China, we met some other adoptive families who used other agencies. In Xiamen, for example, we met two families who were adopting through Holt. They were staying at our hotel and visiting some of the same scenic places in the province. 6. Did I do any sightseeing or touring, and how was it? Getting a chance to see your child's birth country is one reason why I think families should travel, even if escort is allowed (it isn't, with China). It really helps parents form memories and impressions that can help them teach their children to respect and honor their birth heritage. With China, you generally spend about a week in your child's city while you wait for documents such has his/her birth certificate, adoption decree, abandonment certificate, and Chinese passport. Since you have a guide, you generally spend that week touring with your group and all the new children. This is what my group did. Xiamen has many places of interest to tourists. My favorite was a resort island, called Gulangyu Island, reachable only by a short ferry ride. All cars, trucks, motorcycles, etc. are banned, so it is very quiet and peaceful. We actually saw a woman being carried in a sedan chair, like an ancient Empress. My group walked down broad boulevards, shaded by palm trees. On one side was the ocean. On the other side were beautiful European-style buildings that were built in the late 1800s as foreign embassies, although they are offices and such now. Today, the island is considered something of an artists' colony, and is often the site of concerts. It has a beach that is frequented by locals, as well as visitors. It has an interesting market. From one high point on the island, it is possible to see an island belonging to Taiwan. On another day, we went to a beautiful, ancient temple that is still in use. Despite the fact that China is Communist and that Communism and religion don't usually go together, the temple was filled with worshippers, including young men who could be the next generation of Chinese leaders. It also had quite a lot of yellow-robed monks. The architecture and statuary at the temple were beautiful, and even non-Buddhists could appreciate them. On the temple grounds is a vegetarian restaurant that is maintained as a fundraiser for the temple. We had lunch there. It was amazing to see how purely vegetarian ingredients could be made to resemble meat and fish. The food was a delight to the eye, colorful and beautifully arranged on the plates. We also went to Xiamen University, one of China's elite universities. My group's Xiamen guide happened to have graduated from the university, with accounting as his field. (You could tell his background; he gave us detailed budgets and receipts for absolutely everything, including rides on a carousel in a park). The university was a lot like a U.S. school, with guitar music coming from dorm rooms, athletic fields, etc. At the university, we attended a traditional Chinese tea ceremony, and many of us purchased teapots and other implements. In addition, we went to a museum that showcased the achievements of Chinese people who emigrated to other countries, including the U.S. Unfortunately, of course, it had a bit on the mistreatment of the Chinese who were brought to the U.S. to work on building the transcontinental railroad, but it also highlighted many positive contributions of Chinese-Americans. Needless to say, we also shopped, mainly on our own. I bought some inexpensive jade and pearl items. Our group wasn't in Guangzhou very long, but we did a small amount of touring there. We went to the Guangzhou Zoo, for example. Although it was an old-fashioned type of zoo, with little effort made to house the animals in natural looking habitats, it was pleasant to see all the families and children enjoying themselves, just like their American counterparts. The one thing that came through loud and clear through all the touring we did was that, despite the differences between the Chinese and U.S. governments, the Chinese people LOVE Americans. By and large, they are also quite supportive of Americans' efforts to give abandoned children homes. They would give us lots of smiles, thumbs-up gestures, and comments like, "Lucky baby." We had a surprise boy referral in our group, and there was absolutely no hostility about Americans adopting him, despite the fact that boys are a form of "Social Security" and "Medicare", since they are the ones who care for their parents when they become old, in traditional families. **** Overall, I have to say that my China trip was the highlight of my life to-date, not just because I adopted the child of my dreams, but because I had a wonderful experience meeting the Chinese people and taking in aspects of Chinese life. Sharon

I have not traveled to adopt our child yet, but found this to be an interesting thread even though it is not very busy. I found sak9645's post to be very interesting. You are a great writer. I loved all the details. I am sure you have journal filled with lots of memories to share with your child. I hope the thread continues to grow!