I need some help...

Hi I just wanted to tell you good luck on what ever you do because there is a lot of women out here that can't have kids and if you do decide make sure your happy with the ones you choose for your child. I know I would do anything for one special child because I can ever have any I am 26 soon to be 27. so good luck and may god be with you

I wish you the best in whatever choice you make. I know that there are a lot of options out there for you. Just know that there are a lot of people in this forum that will support you whatever choice that you make. I know that right now it is hard and I know that you may think that there is no way for you to take care of another child but you are never given more than you can handle. I hope that you make a decision that will be the best thing for everyone involved. Just know that there are people out here that will help you all we can. I wish you the best and I hope that everything works out for the best. Hoping for the best for you and your child:)

I do love this child and always will. I do however have too much on plate at the time. I have a 10 month old daughter and cant take on another one. I dont make enough to support myself and 2 kids. But I dont make less enough to get the state aid.

Maybe your family and friends can lend you support. Maybe they can babysit for you or help with finances until you can make more money. It's just a thought. I hope this helps. Just to let you know children really don't care about money.

Okay, it is more than just financially, physically. I work from 6am-6pm and then have night school. I already feel bad for leaving my ONE child with my parents while I work to better myself. I know they say they dont mind, BUT- my mom work from 4am until 6pm. She is a district manager for a temp agency, and has a 2 hour commute to and from work. My dad is on disability, and is suffering from 4 back surgeries! They have raised their children, my brothers are 17 & 19. My parents aren't rich and they cant take on helping me raise 2 kids. My babies father is not in the picture. He doenst pay child support. He doesnt offer to watch our daughter...It is a lost cause. I am doing this to give my unborn child a better life. One that I can't provide him or her with right now. I am going with an open adoption so I can still keep in contact and hopefully let this child know that Mommy does love him/her, and did this for them. I think it takes a brave person to stand up and make this kind of decision. I could have been like all the mothers you read about, the kind of mother that goes through with abortion, or that gives birth at work and then puts the baby in my locker, and then let the poor child freeze to death in the trunk of my car! I love my child enough to give him/her life. A BETTER life than I can provide them with right now....

What you are doing is BEYOND brave...it is BEYOND selfless...it is BEYOND what most of us can imagine!!! You will be this child's HERO, the one who saved his/her life, the one who loved him/her enough to put your own feelings and heartache aside and give MORE than most of us can even BEGIN to understand!!!! I applaud you!! I respect you!!! I think you deserve respect and support and I hope you are getting that through counselling, friends and family! God Bless you and your babies!

Chloe, I placed my second born child for adoption in 1997. I was already a single parent to a 15 month old when my daughter was born. At the time, I was a full time college student, who also worked full time. I felt like I was already making one child suffer enough, with a part time mom and all day child careI couldnŒt fathom doing that to another child, even if it was for only two more years. Let me give you a little more background, I am also an adoptee, a second born adoptee. My birthmother gave birth to and parented a son before giving birth to and placing me in 1973. Id always known about, and eventually met my half-sibling, but I never once wondered if my placement was because I wasnҒt good enough, or because of my sexor anything like that. I never felt jealous or envious of my biological half sibling, in fact, I donŒt recall ever feeling odd or out of place about it at all. It was just factnow, maybe that was because I had a œrelationship with him and his grandparents at a very early age, I donԒt knowbut I just never felt that. I believe that open adoption had a lot to do with my perception of thingsŅalthough, it wasnt called ғopen adoption in 1978. Now, on the flipside, I worried and worried about M being mad at me for parenting her half sibling and placing her. Eight years later, I am confident that my worries were nothing more than thatԅShe is a very well adjusted little girl with an amazing grasp on her conception and later adoption. She and her brother have a wonderful relationship, and email frequently. If I had to do it over again, I wouldnt change a thing҅the relationship I have with her, and her family is my most cherished relationship You have to do what you think will be best for your childrenŅnot just one child, both children. Its especially hard to make an adoption plan when its a second (or third or fourth) born child҅because you arent just doing it for one child, you are doing it for both (or all) of your children. Good luck with whatever choice you make҅Im always here if you ever need to talk to someone.

I just want you to know I respect the fact you know a second child at this time would be too much for you even financially.I think its important that your decision is one you carefully thought out which I am sure you have.I think it takes a very courageous person to admit that their child should be given up for adoption.Believe me I know you love your child.I cannot pretend to know what you must be feeling or going through I just have the utmost respect for a biological mom who can make the sacrifice and truely realize that adoption is the right choice for their baby.When and if you truely decide adoption is right for you--you will find the right couple who will love and cherish your baby as their own.There are soo many couples like myself who would truely love to adopt and love a baby and would respect your choice.Adoption is not for everyone just know there are people out there who do care --Please just try and talk to someone if you need someone to listen you can pm me.God Bless you and your decision.Take your time and know the choice is not a right or wrong one if it comes from your heart.

Just wanted to let you know that What you are considering will be the hardest thing you that you ever have done but doesn't have to be bad ...Take your time and make all your decisions slow and all will fall into place. Good Luck to you : )

MaY03_JuNe04MoM Your children are very lucky to have you and a open adoption is a great thing. We have full contact with my adopted brothers birth family. He goes to see them once a year in the summer and emails his birth mom all the time. He is 12 this year and has a full understanding of his adoption. We have met several birth moms and they all have chosen to keep there baby at the last few weeks before delivery. I know you feel your mind is set but you never know if your heart will change your mind in the end. So please for yourself and your adoptive family talk to someone who can help you through the process. I know a birth mom that didn't change her mind and even though she doesn't regret it she still gets very sad about the situation sometimes. She and I met in this forum and have became great friends and I see the love she has for her baby and though it was for her Childs on good that she find a better life for her she still has the loss feeling. Just know if you go through with the adoption you will have so many different feelings and you will need counseling to help you deal with all the mixed emotions. Be very careful too that you find out as much as possible about your adoptive parents because I know from my friends situation and others I know sometimes the adoptive family just forgets all about the birth family once the adoption is through. I know this seems cold but it's true there are people out there that once they get what they want they forget who allowed them that opportunity. Good luck and my prayers are with you and your children.

Well, I wish you the best in this. I'll be praying for you. And if you need some one to talk to feel free to send me a PM. I also suggest you talk to the Coley From Birthmom buds. Awsome person!. Take care and may god bless

MaY03_JuNe04MoM, I placed my second child for adoption too. It was one of the hardest things I ever did and I still have bad days when my heart hurts, but in my heart I know it was the best choice for me and my son. Take this time to explore the different paths of adoption and parenting and decide what you feel is best for you and your baby. If you need to talk, please don't hesitate to contact me. I run a web site (others have mentioned) called BirthMom Buds. We have a special mentoring program for potential birthmoms - check out the site at [url]http://www.birthmombuds.com[/url] Also feel free to PM me or call our toll free number if you need anything at all!! (The number is on the home page of the site) Your in my prayers. Coley

Well said Sonya, i couldn't have said it any better...She is totally right find out all you can about the a parents..... I am lucky enought to have the openess right wehre i want it and that is cantact everyother day and pictures through the e-mail.... now my daughter is going to be 1 on the 22nd of this month and i thank God everyday for the Gift of life that i created and i don't regreat my choice at all in fact i am proud....i know i did the right thing for my daughter and now i wouln't have it any other way.....

To echo what has already been said, make sure adoption is what you want to do. I'm an adoptive mom of three, and they are the greatest blessings of my life. They fully understand that someone else carried them for 9 mos, and gave them life. That's something I couldn't do. But I'm very thankful for the opportunity to give them a full, loving, blessed life, with pets, and lots of extras (ok, my parents were very anxious to be "grand"parents, so they do a lot of the spoiling too!). If you decide to place your baby for adoption, know that there are a lot of families out there who will make sure your child never wants for anything, especially love. My only other suggestion would be to contact a faith-based adoption agency, like Life Choices. Do make sure that you get counseling before and after, and make sure there isn't a penalty if you decide to change your mind! Be involved in choosing the parents to raise and nurture your child- if faith is important to you, then make sure it is to them too. If you want your child to grow up with siblings or pets, find others who agree. Make sure that the parents you choose truly want a child- not a perfect, guaranteed to be smart, pretty, athletic dream. Make the best choice for you, the child you already have, and the child soon to be born. We'll be praying for you!

Just wanting an update...guess you have delivered by now. I live in Texas, but adopted my son from a couple in Illinois.... Springfield to be exact. IMHO I thinks Illinois is a wonderful place... the place where all my dreams came true!