What do you think about gay parents?

What do I think of gay parents? It would be very odd, although I'm sure its happened, for a gay women to be impregnanted by a gay man, kinds goes against the whole 'gay' aspect.Now, about adoptive parents, I feel the best solution is a father and a mother. Single mothers or fathers are also a better solution for the child. I do not feel gay aparents are the best solution for the child. From studies, reports and news articles, I've come to my opinion - both on the impact to the achild and the statistical studies on the aparent's life as well. I am certain beyond a doubt plenty of people will have examples, as the prior poster does, of children doing well in adoptive care to a gay couple. And plenty of examples of horrible things happening in a heterosexual couple family to the children are sure to be mentioned (which, btw, is a bias statement, homosexual couples can't reproduce so only those seeing adoption will have children and they, like everyone else seeking adoption or foster care, get screened - which the general populace doesn't have for just making one themselves). I'm concerned with the average studied, scientificly reported cases and not the anecdotal cases. If we're interested in the best solution for the children, that is what should matter. If we're focused on the parent's rights, we do so at the expense of what is best for the child. We've seen in other posts the damaging impact on children when the bio parents exerts their 'right' to raise their child, even when barely fit to do so, when more capable parents are currently raising the child or selected to raise the child. If we're honest, we need to apply the same standard to the placement of children and find them the best home, which is a father and mother, then a mother or a father.

While you are certainly entitled to your opinion and there are many others who share your point of view, I have to say I'm glad there are many who disagree. I'm of the opinion that every child deserves a home with a parent or parents who love them, care for them, and support them. Regardless of whether or not the parent(s) fit the traditional standard or not. Because really, let's just say we deny gay & lesbian persons to adopt. And then, of course, we have to deny single heterosexuals as well, because a 2 parent home is "best" for the child. (because we are being honest here, right?) So now we have to decide which 2 parent homes fit the bill of what is "best" for the child. Does this mean then, only same race couples? Couples with no disabilities? Couples who only make a certain amount of money? Christians only? Stay at home parent while the other one works? Where does it end? Pretty soon we are left with even less parents "best" to raise the many many children who need homes. So now what? It's "best" to allow a child to languish in the foster care system in limbo never having the chance to know what it's like to have a family of their own? I'd be willing to bet $$ at that point, there would be kids saying "I don't care if my mom has 2 heads and a purple wart on her face as long as I have a mom who loves me and wants me!" To me, that IS in the best interests of a child...regardless of how their family came to be or whether or not their parents fit the "norm". (edited to say that no, I am not saying only children in foster care fit into non traditional homes. Just using that as an example.)

Wow.... I have not encountered someone with your outlook in a very long time. Just to enlighten you on a couple of misconceptions: When a gay man and a gay woman decide to conceive a child together, they almost always do it through the man donating sperm and the woman being impregnated by a doctor, or even doing it herself at home. They don't have sex with one another, if that is what you are implying by "kinds goes against the whole 'gay' aspect" I would be very interested in reading any of these studies, news articles or reports. The only ones that I have found that indicate that gay parents have a negative impact on a child have been written by religous or political homophobic parties and have had no supporting data or imperical research. Many homosexual couples create their families outside of adoption. Donour sperm for a lesbian to carry the child, surrogacy for a gay male couple to become fathers, children conceived in prior straight relationships. So not all gay couples go through a screening process. As you can see, I am a Lesbian Mom. My son came to our family through adoption, and we are planning a second child that I will conceive and carry. No sex involved thought ;). I'm always interested to learn more about people that have such different view then I do. Do you think this way because of your upbrining or religion? Do you have any friends that are gay? Do you have children? What do you think your reaction would be if one of your children where to announce to you that they are gay? What would you do if your child's school mate had gay parents? Would you let them play together?

Yep, I know.That is a rather open definition. A parent can love their children, care for them and support them and, yet, have their parental right revoked for their lifestyle. For example, a narcotics dealer would qualify under your definition. As would a prostitute. So would a 16 yr old girl and a person with terminal cancer with 6 months to live. I don't think either of us would agree that any of the examples listed would be a placement we would want to see happen.Certainly. Studies would even support that the average single parent home children performs lower then a mother and a father family, abeit most studies which do differences between these two groups focus on divorce as opposed to adoption, so the numbers aren't as significant. Furthermore, your language is pejorative, deny indicates your mind is set that adoption is a right and not a priviledge, thus you're focused on the parent's rights and not the children's best interest. I've not seen anything that shows any of those which would make a serious impact on the child. Do you have a study which shows that these issues impact the child's life in a significant, substantial or long term way?With reasoned approach, focusing on the child's best interest, exhausting avenues for the best placement, then the proceed with other options.Ok, like you mentioned at the top of your post, we're all entitled to our opinions, we differ on what constitutes the best interest of the child. I want them in the model which has proven itself to be the best placement for them as opposed to just any placement.

We tend to be quiet, don't much like being called homophobic because we disagree. Maybe I'll dig them up, but I doubt the effort would be worth it. I've never, not once, ever seen anyone change their opinion when faced with data. They do what most people do, label it from a bias source. Having looked into it and the supporting research, I've been satisfied (this was a few years ago, otherwise I'd have links ready or pages scanned in).You're brave, I seen birth three times. It amazes me women are willing to do that.It is a compounded set of views, study and research. Certainly upbringing played a role, as did religion, as did science. Actually, I came to my view on homosexuality while I was working on evolution.No ... I've got very few people I call friend, very few. Well, that I'm aware of, they could not have come out. I did hire a lesbian once and we became friendly. I tutored a bi-sexual teen for several months and we got along great (paid her to baby sit my kid too). Yes. 3I'd love him, I would talk a lot to him about it. I've been working on my children so they know they can come to me and discuss anything without fear of my love ever leaving for them. Depending on the age, I would seek a group for him to join for support. Since the possibilities are endless and it hasn't happened, I can't really give a detailed reaction, I can just say what I've planned on doing. (yes, this is something I've planned on in my heart, so I can know I won't hurt my son or say anything stupid that I'll regret forever)My kid and the parents? No. Then again, I don't do that with any adult and my kids. Although I think you mean their kid and my kid. Yes. (already happened before we moved due to my job)

Good point of "lifestyles"... I thought it would be assumed that a person endangering their child in a life of narcotic dealings would not be the best parent. My mistake for being too general. You say you want a child placed in a model which has proven itself as the best placement. And yet there are studies that do show a proven model of families with gay & lesbian parents being the best placement. I'd research that for you, but as you said "I've never, not once, ever seen anyone change their opinion when faced with data. They do what most people do, label it from a bias source."

you know, as much as i read this thread a long time ago....this thread has always bothered me. though affirming in alot of ways, the title just grates my nerves like finger nails on a blackboard. the whole idea and concept of "what do you think of gay parents?" really has no business here. i have never come across a thread that asked "what do you think of straight parents?" so for that reason, i wish this thread would just go away..... i know some found it affirming in many ways, but the idea of having this thread out there, makes me wonder why? sorry guys, i really hate to see this thread pop up on my user cp...(is that what they call it?) i vote we just close this thread....people said what they had to say when it was started.... what do other people think? is it just me? If people are against gay parents, then i really dont care to hear about it on this forum, or some of their other ignorant opinions.

kaosweaver, as for the studies that you have read, i can show you just as many as the positives for a child having gay parents. lets not forget where these children came from.....hmmmmmm...they werent gay couples, they were straight couples who abused and abandoned these kids.... look into the foster care system, how many of these kids came from gay/lesbian households? do some research on that, and then when you find out the outcome, then we can talk. i think you will be surprised. can we close this thread now? this is the kinda of stuff that i hate debating. this forum should not be about debating someones differences...... God, i havnt been on in a while, and when i come on, i see this. uggggghhhhhh

I thought you said you wanted the thread to end/die off/not exist, not the best way to accomplish that goal.I spent the large part of the day looking at both sides of the issue and in each report from either side I wasn't able to find a report that I would call unbias. Even from the ones I've read that support my position, someone, somewhere involved in the report was Christian or had a profit motive (or, in one case, an axe to grind) which, as someone else pointed out, nullifies the material facts of the report. Likewise, on the other side, I've found the reports to be lacking. I've gone out of country and am working on some foreign reports. Yes, certain biological facts make that an irrelevant statement.I've done that, the results from some sources put a child in the care of homosexual parents 5 to 10x as likely to be abused sexually - not neccessarily by the foster parent, but their parenters. Again, the reports pulled from several state studies in the child welfare systems were complied by people who, at one time or now, were Christian and since their personal life disqualifies them from presenting anything, I didn't post it.Actually, I was surprised. I didn't expect to find a significant difference in that area as I thought they (foster parents overall, not specificly gay ones) were closer monitored.Didn't seem to bother you when everyone agreed with your view. Really want to close it, don't reply. As I can see, not having your opinion makes one, how did you word it, ignorant on other matters? I respect people's right to disagree with me and some have very good reasons to do so and I don't think anything less of them for doing so. It is dissappointing that one can't hold a different opinion on this matter without being called names. Like I mentioned earlier, the vast majority of people who agree with me would rather skip voicing an opinion because of the reaction.Crick - I see you've done exactly what you don't want me doing. You've eliminated a group of people from being parents even if they have all the qualities that makes for a good parent based solely upon what the parent do in their lives. I agree with you in the narcotics case, you disagree with me in the other case. Matter of perspective.

quote: "I've done that, the results from some sources put a child in the care of homosexual parents 5 to 10x as likely to be abused sexually - not neccessarily by the foster parent, but their parenters." lol.....your joking. 98% of pedifiles are white straight men. it is clear from this statement that your research is not bias. were talking psych 101 about pedifiles.....lol.

i smell a troll among us....

hmmmm...could a prancster be lurking around?....

Working and doing some research concurrently. I've not found anything that supports your 98% white male comment. Given the US B. of stats has female assailants at 6% for sexual crime for minors, at best, if every single other one was white and male, you'd be at 94%, however, this isn't the case as 4% of all sexual assult crimes are forced sodomy against boys (something that is seperated from forced sexual assault with an object) meaning that 4% are gay, minimum, as they don't break down the forced molestation by assailant sexual preference, so 90% are straight males - of which the race was not indicated. As for molestation - [font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Convicted child molesters who abused girls had an average of 52 victims each. Men who molested boys had an astonishing average of 150 victims. - [/font][font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]National Institute of Mental Health

[/font]Every breakdown I can find that cite gender of assailant on gender of victim places the same sex assailants seriously higher then the rates of opposite gender violence. The Los Angeles Times conducted a survey in 1985 of 2,628 adults across the U.S. Of those, 27% of the women and 16% of the men had been sexually molested. Seven percent of the girls and 93% of the men had been molested by adults of the same sex.Assumption, 48% of the adults were male, 52% female1261 males - 201 abused, 187 by same sex.1367 females - 369 abused, 26 by same sex.470 abused reports, 213 by same sex. 45% done by same sex.Just not seeing how we get to 98% white straight men yet. Maybe because I didn't get psyched like you did in that 101 class ;)

Actually, I teach Psych 101. Your interpretations are incorrect, the literature you cite is biased. You have not read the scientific literature. The LA Times is not scientific literature. Dadfor2 is wrong, too. (Sorry, Dad :), but I believe I am quoting a current statistic). 94% of all pedophiles are heterosexual males whereas only 90% of all males are heterosexual. I find it surprising that one would consider themselves educated enough to speak on a topic this complex after researching it for "the large part of a day." I find your views to be biased and illogical. I cannot imagine that you could be genuinely supportive of any gay or lesbian individual when you are so quick to condemn. By the way, I guess it is just not very 'natural' for some heterosexual couples to reproduce either.

Thread is locked at the discretion of the moderators. Feel free to PM me with any concerns. Jensboys