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Originally Posted By Michelle V
Hello all, I know I am probably not supposed to post here because I am a birthmom but after reading a few posts I was compelled to. I have read posts that say adoptive parents don't understand why after we place we want to be involved.
Mine was a closed adoption 9 yrs ago. Not a day goes by that I don't think about that little girl and how she is. Just because I "gave up" my rights as a "mother" to her doesn't mean I gave up my rights to love her and wish the best for her and her family. Afterall, I placed her because I loved her then and I always will. I was a mother to her for 9 months and took excellent care of her while she laid beneath my heart. I sang to her, I read to her and I prayed for her.
I wish I did have contact so I could know that she is healthy and thank them for giving her what I couldn't give her 9 yrs ago. I guess my point is that parents should do what they feel is in the best interest for their children but remember some of you wouldn't be parents if not for the birthmom that cared enough about the child to give her life. I am not looking for a "thanks" or trying to put myself on a pedestal but it wasn't easy to make our decisions. So please, before you so easily disregard the birthmom and say "well, she gave up her rights" try thinking with your heart and an openess to share the love that she so gave to you and your children. Thanks to anyone who reads this and tries to understand...sincerely, michelle v
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Originally Posted By To Michelle V
Thank you for your thoughts, Michelle. I am someone who is wanting to adopt and my thoughts are the same. Without a birthmom, most aparents would never know the wonder of parenting. I hold birthmoms in the highest regards and hope to someday have the joy of sharing the life and love of a child with the one who will make it possible for me to be a mom. May all your dreams come true..Teresa...Teresa-Slap@msn.com
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Originally Posted By Michelle V
Teresa, I wish you the best in your adoption journey. I hope all of you find a child to love. sincerely, michelle v
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Originally Posted By To Michelle..Kelli ann
Just passing by & saw your post! What a caring & giving birthmom you are! I ahve not heard anything form you lately, is everything ok? Please let me know! Takr care! Kelli ann
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Originally Posted By Susan
My husband and I are trying to adopt. The only type of adoption our Agency does is open. It is a little scarey. We started advertizing this July and are now talking with a very nice young lady. We seem to have a lot in common. This makes the prospect of open desirable and no longer scarey. I hope it works out, but I care about her as a person and if she decides that she should parent her child I will gracefully accept her decision. I strongly believe it is her decision and I in good conscience could not pressure her either way or have my Agency or Attorney do so on my behalf. There are a lot more ups and downs with open adoption because you are more involved directly with the birthmother and it is a emotionaly difficult time for her and you. You don't have the Agency to help shelter the adoptive parent from the disapointment when the birthmother decides to parent or selects a different couple.
On the positive side, when you want to brag about your child to the world who do you think would love to hear the most tedious details and share in the love of this child with you. I look at this not as two mothers raising your child. Once you adopt a child you are that child's mom. I look at the birthmother as a relative sort a like a beloved aunt that you may or may not see very often. How could you not have warm thoughts toward her after all she gave you the most wonderful gift to your family...another member to love.
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