Open adoption

September 29, 2000

Originally Posted By Lynn

Thank you Michele for that wonderful statement from the heart.

We are looking to adopt an older baby or toddler, a friend of ours has a closed adoption and I think it's a mistake. (just my feelings)

I see how different their son looks, acts, etc. and I would want to know as much about the birthparents and to even continue to share with them all news about the child.

So here's my question, Am I naive to think that I could have an on going relationship with the birthmom?

What could be the downside? If anyone has any feedback,I would appreciate it. I know that if I was adopted, I would eventually want to know all about my birthparents and their relatives.

And wouldn't it be a wonderful situation for that child to not only have the love of the adoptive parents but also the connection of the birthparent?

I'm becoming more confused as I read more board messages.

Just want to do right by all.

Thank you,

Lynn

Archive

September 29, 2000

Originally Posted By Michelle V

Lynn, I am not really sure of all the downsides, but a couple complaints I have heard are that either the adoptive parents want the birthmom to be more involved and the birthmom is either grieving and wont be involved...sometimes, apparently, the birthmom needs more time before she can see that child with other parents and she feels guilty. Another downside, I guess, would be that the birthmom wants TOO much involvement, not understanding that the parents have to make their own choices for raising their child.

I wish you the best in your adoption journey, it is so confusing when you get so many opinions and everyone's situations are so different...sincerely, michelle v