Support from families

I'll tell you this......... Our family has gone through similar patterns...having some relatives that thought 'it was okay'....others who couldn't have cared less....and still others that were out and out rude. You're right...that in the end, it is what is 'right' for your family----including your children already at home. But......please remember how you feel right now. I say that, because I have found that often once a parent/s receives their child/baby.....they go about their lives and quit 'being around' for other adoptive and 'waiting adoptive parents'. I cannot tell you how many people have written or spoken to me to say 'thanks' for being around on the boards or out in public to give encouragement, help, support to those who are still going through the ride of adoption. It's made me a better person...and I hope I have been able to help others in the process. I know we made some mistakes.....and I also know that we DIDN'T make some mistakes---because their were folks who had BTDT writing here, talking about their situations, failures, bum agencies, etc....to help US out---w/o even knowing it! Not having family to bounce things off of, can be a real 'downer'.....and make you feel like 'no one understands'. As you wait, and after you receive your child.......try to be around for the others. I still feel that 'no one understands the adoption arena, like others who have adopted' !!!!! Best of luck....hang in there.....and I suspect your child will be coming home to your arms soon! Sincerely, Linny

Hi! I just wanted to add my support for what you are dealing with right now. You could very well be right in your assumption that once the new baby arrives, everyone in the family will fall in love with that beautiful, little one has joined your family. Keep talking with the people who are supportive of your dreams and ignore the rest as much as possible. I have found after 43 years on this planet that we all waste too much time trying to fix relationships that just weren't meant to work, for whatever reason. It can be very painful to cut out the people who are always negative and trying to find a way to drag you down, but it is truly liberating and wonderful when you surround yourself with good people who will support you through good and bad. Many times these people are not family! Stay positive and pursue your dream and it will happen. My husband and I just brought home our 11 day old daughter, (our third and last child!) and we are 43 and 47. It was a long and frustrating 2 years but it went by so much faster with the help of the wonderful people on these boards and my own "support group" made up of family and friends who encouraged and supported us in our pursuit of our dream. Good luck to you...keep the faith! :) Bridgette

Linny and Teacher20 I'd like to thank the two of you for responding. And I believe that is so true about the love and support you can can many times be from others than family. No one has outright said you should not do this. On the other hand when you make comments that normally get a response like " well the room is all ready for when the baby comes" or I got a cell phone just to make sure I don't miss the important call!" and they act as if they didn't even hear a thing. That to me is just plain selfish. I always try to support my families hopes and dreams. Even if they are not my own. And I have close friends that have been with me the whole way and even newer friends that share this adoption path with us and will forever be our close friends because of it. congratualtions on your newest edition teacher and I hope you truely enjoy this last bundle you plan on having. I"m still waiting for my call. (Day 34!) Maybe if I stop counting it will happen,,,,ya think? Good luck to both of you and I hope you will keep me updated as I will you. Liz:D