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My husband and I have been wanting to adopt either a state ward child or do a private adoption. From all i have been reading, it seems that there could be a HUGE chance of the baby having some fetal alchohol effects which are very serious to deal with. It is scaring me! We want to adopt to help a child, but we don't want it to turn into so many of the nightmare stories we have heard about. Ruining marriages, financial ruin, run-ins with the law, etc. We have heard a lot of positive stories, but many of these people that write them have children under 5, and a lot of these effects don't surface until later. Any Advice?
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Fear is a very real emotion to any person or family getting ready to expand their family ... especially through adoption. Our family has experienced several facets of this - both infant and older children - special needs and not - and have disrupted a sibling placement prior to finalization as we had a 4 year old with mental health needs causing her to be a major danger to herself which we could not get treated due to her age and our residential location (too rural for such services) and have recently placed our latest placement (adopted at age 11 - now 14) into psychiatric care (in-patient hospitalization followed by 18 months in residential treatment - now in therapeutic foster care without a return home recommended as he cannot function in a normal family where attachments and expectations exist) BUT... in between all these words - we wouldn't have missed the experience for anything ... we treasure the children still in our lives and those now in an extended position ... and highly recommend you proceed and give it a try ... you and the child or children of your future will never be sorry!
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Fear is a very real emotion to any person or family getting ready to expand their family ... especially through adoption. Our family has experienced several facets of this - both infant and older children - special needs and not - and have disrupted a sibling placement prior to finalization as we had a 4 year old with mental health needs causing her to be a major danger to herself which we could not get treated due to her age and our residential location (too rural for such services) and have recently placed our latest placement (adopted at age 11 - now 14) into psychiatric care (in-patient hospitalization followed by 18 months in residential treatment - now in therapeutic foster care without a return home recommended as he cannot function in a normal family where attachments and expectations exist) BUT... in between all these words - we wouldn't have missed the experience for anything ... we treasure the children still in our lives and those now in an extended position ... and highly recommend you proceed and give it a try ... you and the child or children of your future will never be sorry!
I have a question about the residential treatments for your son. if that happens to a child we want to adopt, i am afraid we can't afford something like that! what did you do to make that financially feasible? also, do you other adopted children that you are still parenting? can you tell me more about them?