Angry at bmom

Hello,After having read your post I wanted for you to read the following book, link provided below. [url="http://www.hup.harvard.edu/catalog/SEGIND.html"]http://www.hup.harvard.edu/catalog/SEGIND.html[/url] I too am a twin, although fraternal and never seperated.I'm sorry for your loss and I wish you the best in your search for your twin. I think you'll be surprised at how similiar your lives apart probably were. I too am 43. Please keep me posted on your success in searching.

I am really hoping and praying that somehow you can find your twin sister. Do you know who adopted her, any names, etc.? If you have names, and UNLIMITED CALLING, [url="http://www.411locate.com/"]www.411locate.com[/url] and [url="http://www.canada411.com/"]www.canada411.com[/url] is GREAT at finding the person you need.After about 200 phone calls, I found my husband's OTHER 1/2 brother who my father in law hadn't seen for 30 yrs. since his x-wife left him and took the baby.I found my b/grandfather, too and spoke with him, he just didn't know it was me. I know where he lives and my b/mom. Mapquest shows me exactly how to get there too!!!Pretty amazing, eh???If you have names, and places, I don't mind helping either.But, I do want to share with you that Itoo have had to forgive my b/mom and a/mom for the life that I had growing up.But, doing that was easy. I have issues. Emotional ones, w/ my b/mom and a/mom. Not forgiveness ones, because I dealt w/ FORGIVENESS, on July 16, 1989. . . . . My life up til the time I was 14 was full of upheaval and torment from being born, to having birth defects to my adopted family. My brother and his wife had come up to visit the family in July of 1989, after they took a trip to Brazil for 2 wks. My brother on a Sunday afternoon asked me if I wanted to come to church w/ him and his wife that night. I'D NEVER BEEN TO CHURCH BEFORE! We weren't a church going family, so I was wondering what they were going for. We get there and my brother and sis in law show the congregation their Brazil pictures, (that I'd already seen at the house) and then the Pastor preached, and I zoned out. After the service, my brother who is 6'7" asked, "Do you want to talk to the pastor?" "What for?" I thought. But, I always respected my oldest brother. He never hurt me or made fun of me, and he'd even take me on his dates and stuff, just to get me out of the house I think. So, I went to talk to the pastor. He asked, "What do you think of your life." I told him that home isn't the greatest but I'd be done highschool in 4 yrs. He asked me if I knew where I was going when I die. I said, "I hope Heaven." But, I always had the superstition that if I stepped on a crack I'd go to Hell, or if I did a really bad thing, hope was gone. He then explained to me that even though I thought I was a good person, I really wasn't. That I was a sinner, because of Adam and Eve's sin. I knew about Adam and Eve a little bit from my Bible Story books, that you see in the doctor's office. I came home from school one day in grade 3 and ripped them up telling God I hated Him for making me ugly, and not giving me any friends. Anyhow, back to my story. . . He shared with me that all mankind were sinners deserving Hell at death, and that from the days of old, people would bring sacrifices to an altar for FORGIVENESS of their sins. But, then God had HIS SON, Jesus come to earth, to live a human life and be SACRIFICED on the cross for FORGIVENESS of all mankind's sins, whoever would accept that gift of SALVATION. Romans 3:23For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Ro 5:12

Wherefore, as by one man [Adam]sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned: Ro 6:23For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord Ro 5:17For if by one man's offence [Adam] death reigned by one; much more they which receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness shall reign in life by one, Jesus Christ. Ro 5:19For as by one man's disobedience [Adam] many were made sinners, so by the obedience of one shall many be made righteous He told me that I needed to believe that I was a sinner, who could be SAVED BY GRACE, through the FORGIVENESS of SIN, by accepting Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior. Romans 10:9That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. John 1:12But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name I didn't want to go to Hell. And he also told me that once I confessed myself as a sinner and believed on the Lord Jesus Christ as my Savior, I would have a home in ETERNAL HEAVEN when I died. No matter what I did from that day on, I would have access to the Father through Jesus Christ in prayer, but that all my sins were forgiven already. The Holy Spirit would indwell me and help me grow to not sin on a regular basis, like I did before. I would never lose my salvation. Ephesians 1:13In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the Word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise, Where does this all fit in with HOW TO FORGIVE SOMEONE ELSE? Well. . . . .After I got saved, I wasn't allowed to go to church for about a yr. then when I did go to church, I really didn't grow in the Lord, and I was depressed, wanted to die and GO TO HEAVEN RIGHT AWAY. That ofcourse didn't happen. I went to a Christian College in Sept. '93 . .and on Feb. 14th, 1994 I was in my dorm room again, BEING CONVICTED by the Lord, "You need to forgive your a/mother for all she did to you." See, I didn't speak to her for 2 FULL YEARS. Once I moved out, that was it. I wanted nothing to do w/ the woman. But, the Lord took me to these verses: 1John 1:8If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. "Amy, YOU ARE NOT PERFECT, BUT I FORGAVE YOU!!!" 1John 1:9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. "Amy, I forgive you ALL THE TIME, you are my child." Isaiah 53:5But He was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. Lu 23:34Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. "Amy, look at what my SON went through for YOU! Your mum doesn't know my love and doesn't have my Son as her Savior, SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT SHE WAS DOING TO YOU." I realized that night, I needed to FORGIVE MY A/MOTHER for the pain and abuse that I went through not only from her, but what she allowed too. (YOU CAN SEE MY THREAD, "The Strength to Move On, and The Strenght to Move On (Continued)" because Jesus Christ died for all sins including hers, and how was I ever going to be a TESTIMONY of God's Forgiveness and love, if I didn't talk to her and be in her life. My dad, right before he died received Christ as His Savior in the hospital. He had told me a few months prior, "daughter, I know the Bible is true, I"m just not ready yet." But before he died, I asked him if he was going to Heaven, and he shook his head yes and whispered, "I love you" in my ear. That was Sept. 1997 But, on Feb. 14, 1994, I called my a/mother and said, "I have asked the Lord to forgive me for all the words and actions I did before you when I lived at home, out of anger and resentment. I do not agree with the way you raised me, and I never will, but I need to FORGIVE YOU, because of the forgiveness Jesus bestowed on all mankind, and that I've accepted His gift of forgiveness and salvation." She didn't know what to say. She was very happy I called, she said, "your dad will be thrilled when he knows you called." He was at the gym. She said she was willing to have a relationship with me and she wouldn't put me down anymore for who I was and we could be friends. That is what we are friends. She's still not saved, and I pray for her every night. I think she is getting close though, 'cause she asks a lot of questions, and she really likes my husband, and she's been very against Christianity for many many years. Plus, I found out in June/July that she KNEW my grandfather was molesting me, and ALLOWED IT TO GO ON FOR 4 YRS. I was pretty upset this summer, but I didn't confront her, I"ve been trying to heal from that and I do forgive her. It just hurts. She's too old for me to confront, and she would deny it. It would be no use. I have to be the stronger person and move on. That's what this website has done for me. Oh, am I burdened. Yes. Do I get depressed yes. Do I wish Christi Bender was right here in my house so I could JUST EXPLODE and cry for days without STOPPING, 'cause I dont' understand all these feelings inside me, yes. But, my BIRTH MOM and my Adoped Mother, I CAN FORGIVE, with no problems, because I WAS FORGIVEN!!!!! And my ETERNITY rests on it. Those reading this may have never been presented the Gospel as I just did, but it was from my heart. It's the truth of how I forgave. There was the question so I took the opportunity to share my salvation and FORGIVENESS with YOU and anyone reading this.If you want that FORGIVENESS in your life, and you want to know for sure that your Eternity would be in Heaven and not in a Lake of fire Revelation 20:15And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire. You can pray a simple prayer from your heart, not even this prayer, but something like this: Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner and that I deserve Hell in death. I believe the Word of God to be True and that You are God's Son who came to live here on earth, and die a SACRIFICIAL death for the REMISSION of my sins. I believe you rose again 3 days later to prove that YOU ARE GOD.I confess my sins today, and ask you to forgive me from my sins and cleanse me from all unrighteousness, and receive me as your child.I thank you for YOUR FORGIVENESS, and may I now move on to grow in YOUR WORD and YOUR likeness through the power of your Holy Spirit that is now in me.In Jesus Name, Amen You or anyone else reading this: I don't know if you are BORN AGAIN, into the body of Christ, if not, I PROMISE you, if you ask Jesus to FORGIVE YOU, the forgiveness for your a/mom and b/mom will JUST BE THERE!!! IT WILL BE A BIG RELIEF OFF YOUR SHOULDERS, as it was mine. The Holy Spirit will move you in such a way, you will forgive. If you are a Born Again believer in Christ, then search those verses I typed on forgiveness. It was just another day of college, at night, by myself and God just spoke to me about my a/mother, and are things perfect with us? . . . They are civil. We talk atleast once a week. I am here for her, and the things that I'm struggling with now, I have the Lord and adoption.com to help me through. If any of you prayed this after reading my post, please PM me or post here, letting me know that we are sisters/brothers in Christ and the BIG RELIEF that comes from HIS FORGIVENESS. God Bless, and I thank the Lord for all you kindred spirits for helping through my own battles right now. I sincerely hope I was a help for someone here as you all have been to me.

I can understand how upset you must be... what a loss for you! You should post your name, DOB and place of birth in case she is looking for you! It's not too late to find her. :grouphug: