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Originally Posted By Tyler'sBmom8-31-2000I am happy, excited, terrified, and confused all at the same time. Last night I asked Tyler's amom about visiting and holding him for the first time. She was very open to the idea and said we would arrange a time. Now I am scared of the pain I know I will feel but can't just walk away and forget either. What do I do? How do I handle this first visit and still keep my sanity? I don't want to cry in front of them because they will feel bad about how bad this is hurting me. But if I don't cry will they think I don't care? I'm just rambling. Someone please help. Thank you. Love and Hugs,Shannon
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Originally Posted By DI'm an amom in 2 open adoptions. Both bmoms cried the first time we saw them after the birth. I cried too. (One bmom and I cried when we met for the first time before birth!) We don't think any less of them for crying. They both tried very hard to be brave--didn't just break down and sob in front of us, though I'm sure they did later. I don't know your pain, but I can say it would be very painful for your child later to learn that you backed out on a visit. Please go, cry if you need to, and enjoy the visit. Best wishes!
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Originally Posted By GHi Shannon. I am an adoptive mom and would like for my son's birth mom to feel that way. How hard it must be for you. I know I would cry if it were me but there is nothing wrong with that. If you don't cry, you are there and that shows you care so don't worry about that either. God will be with you.
Originally Posted By bm chrisbefore the first visit with my 7 month old bson I was so nervous & afraid for my sanity also .I had no clue how I would feel or react.I cried hard the night before & prayed for strengh.It went so smoothly,so naturaly ,like it was so normal & comfortable for all of us.I did not cry during or after my visit .I was full of joy.It was positive& it healed allot of my grief.Dont forget to take your camera for memories that will last a lifetime.You will do fine.