Dealing with rejection

Honeyb70, He's at the age of starting puberty AND having the cognitive abilities to understand that to be adopted, you were also given away (blunt, blunt, language but that can be how *some* see it - whatever the true reasons are it's how it is felt). Personally, from ONE adoptee's perspective - he needs to know he can't do that now - but when he is older and grows up more, then it can be discussed about trying to find her. As to when, that is in your court but he needs the maturity first - whether that happens by 16, or later. You can't let him know his words hurt you - practice in front of a mirror having a poker face while you replay that scene in your mind. It isn't a rejection of you - it is simply a cry for understanding using the words he has - to show he's really hurting. I'm tempted to generalize and say All kids hate their parents at one point or another - with adoption comes the two sets of parents, and that makes it far more likely the parenting set will have that happen to them at one, or many points, in time. Are there any groups in your area of adoptive families? Groups that have bbq's or other types of get togethers so the kids can be around other adopted kids? To me that is the best medicine - then they can be with others that have the same type of family. Kind regards, Dickons

You will have to focus on earning child's trust.