adoption ?

Have you looked at Adoption Photolistings?? I am not familiar with New York's Adoption Laws. Could you please share either in PM or here what the Law actually specifies please?? Disruption in Adoption. Usually means the child's current Adoptive home is disrupting??

I adopted my 4 in New York and I know of others also adopted. Please, share by PM what law is stopping you from adopting.

I wish I could tell every one what the law is for adopting a child into NY. I was turned down twice because NY would not sign off on the child. A child from disruption is what NY considers a high risk child. That is because their first adoption or adoptions failed. So NY wont sign off on that kind of child. I guess NY feel that those children dont deserve a second chance. But yet they would sign off on a 3 year old. But those parents changed their minds at the last minute and went with a family that was in their own state. I have asked DCFS about it and they sent me a email saying that NY has no problem in adopting a child into NY. But yet they refuse to sign off on some of those children that have been disrupted. The agency's lawyers in Ny have tried several times to help NY couples adopt those children and NY wont sign off on them . But then Ny will turn around and sign off on some of them? The agency's can't explain why NY will sign off on some children from disruption and not others . It's like they pick and choose what child they will sign off on. I was told that you can not bring a child into NY from another state unless NY signs off on them first. That is what is confusing me as well as the two different agency's that I have been working with. So you tell me why. This State hates older couples and children as well as adoption. We had to fight tooth and nail to get our licence. Just so we could get a run around to be matched for a year and then some. NY almost makes us think there are no children that needs to be adopted. That is why we got fed up and started to look into a disruption adoption. If our home wasn't paid for we would move to another state to adopt a child. But we dont want to start all over from scratch and go into debt at our age. But this stupid state is almost forcing us to move to another state, just to have the child to adopt. But we know that God has chose a child to adopt. We just have to find that child and figure out how we will get them into NY, if they arent here already . If we had known it was a 15 year wait to be matched for a child we would of started the adoption process of being licence , before we had reached 50. But dumb us we wanted to make sure we could provide a good home in a good area. instead of the getto or slums like we had to raise our children in. We didn't want to have to rely on child care all the time . We want to be able to help these children to reach their full potential. Our children had it rough , but they turned out fine. But we want to be able to offer this child what we couldn't give our children because we had to work and pay to many bills. Now we can give a child a better home in a good area with good schools. And NY wont let us? We would never of been able to adopt a child 15 years ago we weren't financially stable enough. In this State we are finding out that adoption is a lose lose situation for old couples. I would of PM those who wanted more info. But they all wanted to know about the same thing so I chose to go this way. If any one wants to PM me about this with advice or help on adopting a child , please do. We aren't going to stop trying just because of this child hating and adoption state. We are adopting a child with or with out NY approving it . We will not take no for an answer.

It's called ICPC - Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children. All 50 states have agreed to this process for the last half-century. I'm surprised you haven't learned that. Both the sending and receiving states must agree on the transfer of the child to a different state. The receiving state will be responsible for the child until the adoption, it's not just easy-peasy sign a form. They have guidelines. It would be appalling if they didn't look at the best interests of that child. [url=http://www.ocfs.state.ny.us/adopt/interstate_compact_Placement_of_Children.asp]New York State Office of Children and Family Services (OCFS)[/url] If you take a child across state lines without ICPC approval you are breaking the law. Kind regards, Dickons

I personally believe ICPC is a joke for the most part, but as Dickons points out, it IS the law. The reason some ICPC depts. won't sign off on a child to come into the state is not always due to the child's challenges, but because the receiving state doesn't feel the hopeful adopting family is ready to deal with those challenges. I'm NOT saying this is your case, but I know too well--having dealt with families who *have* disrupted, there are many situations where the agencies/individuals lied about the problems the child had and the adopting families were totally unprepared for such scenarios. Further, some agencies are all too anxious to place a very problematic child with 'green' adoptive parents-just to get rid of the child in the system. What follows is total disaster, believe me. Disrupted adoptions *generally* involve older children---and generally children who have been VERY difficult to deal with. (There are children who simply cannot live in a tradition home because they've been too damaged to do so.) These children are not for the inexperienced, nor those who 'want a child to love and permanence will solve their problems away'---which is too often the sentiments from agencies/caseworkers. I empathize with your living in a state where it's difficult to adopt. I've not dealt with NY, but over the years seems I've read it is NOT an adoption friendly state and allows the children to linger far too long in poor situations. But please understand adoption from disruption is not necessarily an easier way to adopt. Yes, there are exceptions; but over my years of helping others to adopt, those exceptions are few and far between. Frankly, I would go back to my agency and specifically ask them what might be in your homestudy that might be a factor causing any concerns. You've tried very hard to adopt and things aren't going as you thought-- so I would go back to the beginning and put the question to your agency. Sincerely, Linny

Absolutely...and in many cases, the child has to be returned to the original state they previously lived in. Make no mistake in thinking this type of thing is overlooked-it's not. Sincerely, Linny

It may indeed be a joke in regards to timelines, paperwork, oversight, etc., Linny - but there is a very valid reason why it was implemented if you know your adoption history. Going back to no ICPC would be bad. Kind regards, Dickons

I agree something like ICPC needs to be done to assure adoptions are legally done; however, I believe the ICPC is not done consistently across the USA. Back in 2009, I know there was an attempt to have all states adopt the same document outlining specific interpretations and recommendations. At that time, it was possible for individual people-making up a specific state ICPC board, to interpret ICPC dealings through their own bias. In accepting the document, it would have been much more difficult to approve or disapprove an adoption based on personal bias. I've not kept up with specifics on ICPC to know if all states adopted the document or not. Sincerely, Linny

This is just my humble opinion, but adopting from disruption because it's easier or quicker than other types of adoptions sounds like a horrible idea. Unless you have the skills, strength, experience and desire to parent a child with significant mental and/or behavioral problems adopting from disruption doesn't sound like a good option for either you or the child. The kids definitely do deserve a second chance but it should be a situation that is likely to actually be a second chance, not another failure. If you don't have what the child needs it's very possible that it would be another failure. These kids need some very capable adults to care for them and if you're not you are likely not doing them a favor. From what I have been able to gather it's not uncommon that a second adoption for disrupted children fail too, probably because the new family looked at it like just another adoption and didn't have the skills, experience, resources and strength. Do you believe that you have these things so you can deal with what may come?