Advertisements
Hello everyone,I'm new so bear with me if I post some stupid questions. I have read most of the postings and have gotten some really good information from everyone and hopefully won't have to repeat the same questions. But it might be good to update on some information.First our background: My husband and I have been married for 5 years, and have no children. I am of Philippine descent (born and raised and lived there for my first 16 years, I am fluent in Tagalog and 2 dialects, still have relatives there) and just got my US citizenship this Spring. My husband is Caucasian, we're both Catholics, and in our early 30's. We were told by our ICAB-approved agency that we have a pretty good chance of having less of a wait. However, from reading the other posts, I am setting myself up to wait at the very LEAST 12-18 mos for a referral.Questions:1. Has ICAB caught up with their backlog from 2003? 2. What is the likelihood that we'll have less waiting period for a sibling group of 2, ages 0-4, any gender? 3. Would it be better to generalize our preference to 1-2, and increase the age? 3. My husband would really like twins, what is the possibility of this? Has anyone out there adopted twins from the Philippines? 4. After we have accepted a referral, would it be possible to go to the Philippines and visit the child/children to start bonding/attaching/caring for them IF I go to visit my family anyway? 5. I've been doing a lot of reading/research on Attachment Disorders on institutionalized older children/toddlers, what have your experiences been with Filipino children? I have read that this can surface months after a child has been home, anyone having issues with this? 6. We are just finishing our homestudy and will be compiling our dossier soon. We've been told that PI might come back with some questions or clarifications on certain things which might cause delay to the approval. Anyone have any experiences with this? THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR INSIGHTS AND WISDOM!!!
Like
Share
Advertisements
Your wait might be a bit shorter because of you being Filipino. I wouldn't changing your criteria simply to shorten the wait. Being open to some special needs would very likely shorten your wait, but you must be SURE that you are truly open to those needs.
The Philippines doesn't go on a super strict chronological deadline in terms of their matches. They do try very hard to find the 'right' family for the 'right' child. A family who has waited less time might get an earlier referral depending on their situation and the child/ren they requested.
I know of 2 sets of twins that have been matched this year.
I don't believe you can go visit or bond with the chidlren in advance. I've never heard of anyone doing this.
Attachment issues "seem" to be less common with the children from the Philippines, but it still does happen. I guess you have to plan the "worst" and hope for the "best". Reading and researching is a great way to prepare.
good luck with your dossier preparation!
Dear Lunamama- We have adopted 3 times from the Philippines.All three took under 1 year. yes there was a backlog but I understand they are caught up. I also know of twin girls who were just placed in Sweden. and there are another set waiting to be matched in the home our daughter is from, so there are twins out there . Be specific about what you are willing to accept, as they will not deviate from it when you are matched. But,you can say you would accept either a single child or twins. Sibling groups are more available as they are harder to place. Some homes have agreements with I.C.A.B. regarding sibling groups.These sibling groups are sometimes put on "hard to place" rosters and can be requested . If you were to know of a home that has a sibling group available you could contact the home and they will work with ICAB to place them with you, (if you are approved of course) Otherwise being open to older children can shorten your wait. our children were 20 months, 3-1/2 years and 7 years when we were matched. We have not had any attachment problems with any of our adoptions. (Our 7 year old was in a government institution for his first 5 years. ) Regarding going to bondafter matching , it's not done. But, from matching to going to pick up your child, is pretty short time wise. ours were all within a few months, so it's not that long a wait. With our last adoption We did have to confirmsome things and get some more info regarding our homestudy, but everything was sent by courier and it really didn't delay things much. Just follow the requirments to the "t" no shortcuts and you'll be fine. Keep us posted on how things are going , best of luck and God bless!
Advertisements
Thanks for the response, 2pinokids (or should it be 3pinokids?)!It's encouraging to hear about shorter wait times but I'm bracing myself for a longer wait. It's also encouraging to hear that your kids have attached well to you. My mother and I are going back to the Phils. for holiday in February so we will talk to some orphanages in our city (Baguio City) to see if we can work with them. Anyone out there got their kids from Baguio? I've heard of at least one government RSCC there, maybe we could find more via NGO's. Thanks again and I will keep you posted. I just mailed out my I-600A today, even though we're still waiting for our homestudy to be completed. We're hoping to send out our dossier in January.