What color is bi-racial?

My older daughter is NA/CC and she has alwasy identified herself as the NA but would also call herself black sometimes when we would have discussions about different races. She wasn't trying to identify herself as being AA, but as a person of color and what she told me was that was how people saw her (meaning how CC people see people of color). It was a complex concept for a 9 year old to explain to me - and I think in her case it was a complex concept to wrap her brain around, but I don't think she was too off base.

my name is shefalie, My bmother is scottish/white. my bfather is east Indian and lives in India. I was fostered/adopted with a white english family. I can look as though I could fit most countries whre there is colour..if I stay out of the sun..I could pass almost for white/well olive skin. I am who I am....growin gup..i thought I was white....cos my family were white and ididnt want to be "different".....but I sure wish they had just been honest about my background and been open enough just to tlak to me about colour, cultures, about what had gone into making me, me.....by not talking about my "colour" or heritage, it was though they were ashamed of it, but really they didnt know how to handle having a bi-racial child..they only opted for the white bits..... children who are adopted from out of other cultures have many things to deal with....within themselves, but i think the more open and honest you can be about how you see them..and how others might view them, and how they might change how they see themselves as they grow up..well thats ok....ive lived too long in a box......that just ticking them for the sake of waht society wants, does not mean i have to live by that....there is no box that matches all of our uniquness from our mixed genes really...may we all just enjoy who we are togehter.... shefalie

That's the problem with the designation. We will be giving special recognition to people who are "legitimate" because they are the product of a consensual or a recent relationship and cutting out those who are the product of slavery or segregation. The definition of biracial is that your ancestry is of two races and it doesn't specify when and that is the bone of contention. It's not about them denying their heritage, but some people use it to distance themselves. If this current trend continues we will be going back to the old New Orleans days of quantifying our ethnicity instead of trying to remove race as a determining factor.

I see your point and understand it. However I still feel that people who choose to identify as black and white (for example) should not be told that they have to choose.

Shef---how do I approach my son if he seems unwilling to talk about it? Do you think he is already feeling shame? I do not want him to be ashamed of anything or anyone. However, I am white...I do not know how to be black...so I how do I help him without him feeling I am constantly throwing it in his face? I try to buy different types of music; he loves Tiger Woods; we personally do not have friends of color but not because I would not welcome it...we just don't have any. I don't want to look back and say why didn't I do this or that....help!!! I really welcome all of your opinions...I don't have to agree with them but you never know...what you write might be exactly what someone else needs to read.

mamabee. Thank you for asking me..I am no expert by any means..... you know one of the things that kept me groudned was knowing that my parents loved and accepted me...yes they didnt know how to talk to me about my heritage but it was a closed adoption...... I think you sound as though youre a mother with a head screwed on and have common sense. In my opinion one can get all anxious when there is no real need for it.....i would just be open with your son. Tell him how you feel when there is an opening but not too heavy..after all, soemtimes the fear is ours not theirs....he may be fine about his color at present.... do yo have any community things in your area that are of mixed origins where he can mix with other kids and families who are not white..thats what i missed most...being the only one of colour. I also know of a very good discussion group for parents who have adopted children of colour or from overseas would you be interested, and if so, how can I let you know the web site? shef

Oh Shef---will you please write your letter again and have it notarized for my husband and family...you know the one saying that I must have my head screwed on right and have common sense?? I would like to frame it!! All fun aside, email me at bherrington2@aol.com

Here is just one opinion-- I would not put your daughters in different racial catagories for any reason ever. So all Hispanic or All AA. If those are your daughters in your avetar, then I personally ( as an AA/Asian that checks "AA") would put AA, but again, JMHO

Chiming in from the China boards. My ex-husband was from a mixed background of black, white, and hispanic. He always claimed "black" on his paperwork. His whole family did. He probably could have passed for white and definitely for hispanic but the family felt like they should claim black which was their choice. The problem? People were always asking him if he checked the wrong box. Other black kids growing up took great delight in telling him he wasn't really black and he felt defensive about it. As an adult other black people disdained him because he was "high yellow" and a "wanna be" as they called him. He felt like he was supposed to be a part of their group but they never accepted him. His brother's had similar issues. We decided that when we had kids we would classify them as "other" because that is what they would have been. It had nothing to do with trying to "hide the black" as someone put it. I happen to think Tiger Woods and his parents are pretty awesome. Tiger has the right to call himself whatever he feels comfortable with and he should follow that instinct because he is always going to make some group unhappy with his decision.

As an adult other black people disdained him because he was "high yellow" and a "wanna be" as they called him. He felt like he was supposed to be a part of their group but they never accepted him. His brother's had similar issues. I'm light-skinned a/k/a high yella and I didn't have those issues. My neighborhood was predominantly AA and I had friends of every shade. Please don't label all AA's as hating those of us with a lighter hue.

Nobody's raised the element of checking one box or another in terms of college/grad. school applications for their children. The checked box can make a difference, so why not play that card to one's advantage? People are going to "see" what they see, in terms of skin color and traits, but when it's so much harder to "see" on those forms where those boxes are found, might as well check those which play to one's advantage. Jessica

A friend of mine is biracial (black and white). She checks whatever box she feels will most benefit her in that situation. She considers it one of the benefits to being biracial! Good Luck!

I like that attitude! I want to chime in here... I'm not a parent of adopted children of color, but two of my grandchildren are bi or multi-racial. My hope is that they will know and celebrate all of their heritage. As a pastor I'm required to list how many members are black, white, hispanic (black or white), asian, etc.in my parochial reports. There have been years that I have refused to fill that part in because I feel like our attempts to be "inclusive" really are divisive. There is a story of a Filipino child who asked his mother about the color of his skin. She told him this story: When God first made people, he made them out of clay and baked them in an oven. The first batch he didn't leave in long enough and they came out pale in color. The second try he left in too long and they came out very dark. The third batch came out a lovely light brown. I guess that means that as a person of western European descent, I'm half-baked! Happy Easter EVERYONE!Kathy

Great discussion, and very topical for me, as our son is biracial - AA and Asian. He is almost painfully beautiful, and most CC people don't realize that he is a Child of Color at all (at least right now, at 7 months of age). AA people know instantly that he is part AA, and almost always ask, after mentioning how beautiful he is, what he is "mixed with." So, at least right now, "how the world sees him" is a really mixed bag. He is very light, has AA hair, and somewhat almond-shaped blue-green eyes (from a green-eyed Filipino bgrandma, it seems). AA folks tend to peg him as bi-racial right away. And he is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Maybe those forms need to be changed so that you can check more than one ethnicity! This isn't an issue I had ever thought about when we were starting the process to adopt an AA child.

Our daughter is NA/CA/aa and we think (not 100% sure on the AA). Mom a working woman. My husband and I decided that we would not choose a race for our ad. We leave the box blank. As our daughter gets older it will be her choice to choose. Most people think she is hispanic. If strangers ask about her race we will them she is multi racial and leave it at that. Some of you may disagree with our decision but it is what we have chosen to do.