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Hello everyone,
I just need some place to let out what I am feeling. I have been searching for my b-mom for about two years. Last September I was contacted by a lady that read some of my posts and told me she could be my birth mother. We started calling and emailing each other like lunatics in an attempt to find out if we were a match. In the process, we got to know each other and our families and established a beautiful bond. When we saw no other way, we decided to take dna tests. Unfortunately we were not a match. That alone hurt us all, specially my almost b-dad who said we should have never taken the tests and decided we were a match and leave it at that (that is how close we had gotten). We got through it anyway and have kept our communicaition open. I even named them my sa-family (specially adopted family) and they liked it. Oh, I forgot to say that they are both the parents of the child they gave for adoption. They remained together even after the adoption. They are still searching for their daughter and I have kept my search as well. Well, on May 3rd I was contacted by the social worker that was helping me with my search and she found my b-mom and talked to her on the phone. They have only communicated by telephone twice and that is it. The thing is, I know my sa-mom felt sad the day I told her. Not sad in a bad way, just that we had been enjoying a beautiful relationship and we were pretty much in the same situation (searching) but now it is different. I don't think she is sad about my finding my b-mom, it is just that it reminds her she has not found her daughter. I know there is nothing I can do, I just wanted to get this out of my system because it makes me sad too. I love her very much and they are all very special to me and I wish to remain in contact with them forever. I guess time will heal all wounds. Although we have not met I wish I could hug them. I believe we will meet sometime this year and I hope they will understand I can love them as well. It is just like my a-mom, I will never stop living her and she will forever be my mother. I also love my b-mom AND my sa-mom. Love, love, love. I love them all - I guess that is all I wanted to say. I have been very much loved throughout my life and for that, I have much love to give. So, Mami Audrey and Papi Jimmy, I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH and I hope you can find Valerie soon. I sure can't wait to meet her!!!!! :clap:
so do I assume that you have not yet been in contact with your birth mother?
Your almost birth parents or sa-parents (lol) sound very nice and I am sure that one day soon they will find their daughter. I think it was probably bitter sweet for them and that is understandable and I am sure that they wised with all their hearts that you were the one because you sound so open and honest that I want you to be my daughter lol.
Good luck to you and them both
(((HUGS)))
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You assumed right. I am still waiting and hoping. It has already been around 20 days and nothing. :( I know these things take time to process, specially when she has four other children who know nothing about another baby or the adoption. I just hope that eventually, no matter how long it takes her, we can establish a relationship. I believe my sa-mom is coming around. The first few days when she found out she was kind of distant and perhaps a little sad but she is back to her sweet self :cheer: . I keep reading and writing in these forums to keep myself entertained and distracted while I wait for contact. Oh, well, I guess I just have to be patient. I did wait 37 years to find her. :o
What a beautiful relationship you have with your sa-family! It is very inspirational for me, to read how close you've become with a family who isn't yours became yours with time.
From one adoptee to another, I wish you all the luck in the world and hope that things work out well for you and your bmom. *hugs*
Sincerely,
~*Melanie*~
Inesi, just a note to say how proud your b-family should be to have such a loving woman in their family.
Your story made me smile and cry a bit at the same time. I wish you luck in your search and hope it turns our great for you.
Have your sa-parents (<- I like that) been searching actively? Are they using their state resources to find Valerie? Maybe some of the folks in here could help them, and through you they may be able to make more progress.
Thanks for making my day more uplifted.
You have brought so much joy to our lives and the bond that we share will be everlasting. You are a beautiful person and we would be proud to have you as a daughter. It didn't work out that way though but always know that we wish the best for you and hope all your dreams come true. Your a-mom, b-mom and sa-mom are all very lucky people to have you in our lives. Thank you for that beautiful note, I cried as I read every line but they were tears of joy.
Love,
sa-mom
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