Advertisements
Does anyone else ever feel like they go thru life just holding their breath...
With my parents I am always walking on eggshells and holding my breath until I get the day right.
With my kids I am always gaugeing every choice I make and every word out of my mouth... I hold my breath until I get them tucked into bed snoring and dreaming and then I exhale until I hear them sleepily stumble out of bed the next morning... Then I wait another day to see if I can get it right...
In my marriage I try to always say things the best way to him and make decisions that will be the "right" ones...Work hard enough, contrubute enough, look good enough, be good enough...
Will I ever exhale and be comfortable? Live my life in true confidence?
Was my adoption a part of this thing that I do? I mean I know there is no race in life to win, just life to live...
Like
Share
I know exactly what you mean....while I am happy to wake up each day, I do often feel as if I am just trying to live for everyone else and making everything right. Saying the right thing, doing the right thing....but is that really healthy? I've tried before just to say what was on my mind, etc., and that's been held against me. So, I go back to just holding my breath..... I can completely relate....
Advertisements
I am not syaing it is all adoption related... I am saying something in my personality leads me to be this way and I do not find it a positive thing...I happen to believe though that adoption does effect person...
I know some people believe that being adopted has no bearing on how they feel or act ...like that is all a choice. However, I happen to believe when a person is adopted that CAN lead to certain types of personality and behavioral habits...So can anything that happens to a child... coming from divorce, neglect ect... Anyway...
Originally I was hoping to get other adoptee's to chime in here about how they feel or cope or deal with that "people pleasing" am I good enough thing...I have picked up on that a lot with other threads...Thought talking might be good...
Maybe not...
HiI, too, always want people to be happy with me. I don't think it has to do with adoption because I was that way long before I found out I had been adopted. From what I've learned about my bmother, my personality is a lot like hers except that, if I'm comfortable in a situation, I can be a bit more outgoing than she was. Do you find you are also the one who is always trying to bring peace, get one person to see and understand another person's view? I should have found work as a mediator!
Advertisements