Be Prepared - Just a little trivia - and venting too

:cheer: We've had lots of children. I know of others' that have fostered many,many more than I - but here goes - From what I've learned - In Fl there is ALPI for daycare. Your fc automatically qualifies for ALPI but the trick is to find a daycare that will accept it. I've given up on it and am now a "stay-at-home-mom". The cost for me to work far outweighed the benefits. We are blessed that I can stay home. Our now 4 yr old fs is waiting for a space at head start. He will start that asap!! He is "high-energy" which translates to be what we used to call "hyper" and somewhat boiles down to "non-parented" as he tends to do as he pleases, when he pleases, with no consideration or care as to consequences. I need a break from him so I can give some time and attention to his 3 younger sibs. We do WIC. We take the children for their checkups, weigh ins etc all at the same time - so there isn't a problem. It's "family outing time" and believe me - when you have 4 - 4 and under - no one wastes any time getting you thru the process. Over the years, I've learned which forms to have filled out - what paperwork to have ready - and what answers they are looking for. I hear that people are "waiting" for infants. We are limited to 2 - under 2 - but always have that particular spot filled. WE ALWAYS have 2-under 2. Most of the time we have 2 under 1. Infants are readily available - but they are high-care infants. Many (I hazard to say most) are from addictive parents which presents common issues. We have worked with them so much - it's second nature for us. The other children - toddlers and preschoolers are many times presented with the same issues (drug exposure). As well as the neglect or constant care-giver changes due to that whole culture. Over permissiveness seems to be the key here. Let the kid do "whatever" so he stays out of my hair and off of my nerves - seems to be the strategy. I don't believe in letting a child "ignore" the rest of the world. I honestly think that we need to prepare the child for the world because the world will not prepare itself for the child. Many times the children have issues that have not been "noticed" or dealt with. Speech problems seem to be rampant. I have gotten used to putting in requests for "referrals" for comprehensive evaluations almost as soon as we get new placements. By the time the requests work their way around - I've documented the issues for that child. Some are way more important than others - but if I wait 2 or 3 months - the eval and the dx and rx are that much further down the line. I don't tell them they are staying with me forever - but I also don't tell them that they are leaving anytime soon. Since I only have young children, we just take it a day at a time. This is thier home (but it is common knowledge, even to the 4 yr old, that it is MY HOUSE). I am Amah, Papa is Papa. They usually have a Mama, and an Aunt, and Grandma (and the male counterparts). Many other older fp's use Nana and Papa. I also find that these titles are more easily accepted by the bio's. It gives them the false feeling that we are not "taking thier place". I am a "foster only" Mom. I have no wishes (at this time) to adopt any of the children I share my home with. My goal is to reunify them - with bios or adoptive families - and with enough skills to make that placement work. As many adoptive families know, the "place" in life that the child is coming from is very important to the success of the placemnt. Don't get me wrong - I love fostering. I love the smell of a new baby's skin, the light on a little face when they "potty" on purpose the first time, the hugs and snuggles after bath and jammies, the silly songs, bedtime stories, and the tickles, trick or treats, visits to Santa, folded hands and bowed heads over their food. The world over and over again thru a childs eyes. I see it again and again. I will never understand the forces in place that let a parent "lose" thier children. Every child is on this earth for a reason, and in our homes and hearts for a season, and only our Lord knows the "rest of the story", and God doesn't make mistakes - we just sometimes have trouble getting to where God wants us to be. We are just blessed to have so many seasons in our life.