Alberta Mommy hoping to adopt older sibling group

I forgot to mention that I'm in the Calgary 'area'

HI!! I just wanted to welcome you!! Sorry it took so long, but I was away for the Christmas holiday!! I'm waiting to adopt in Alberta (Lethbridge) but we are going private infant. We're using a Calgary agency - the same one we used for our first adoption. anyhoo!!! I just wanted to say howdy!!

Thanx for the welcome! I knew that posting on the bb would be lacking in replies mainly because it's Christmas, but also because it's a quiet bb.

Thanx again!

Hi Jody! Welcome to the boardsfrom another Albertan! Sorry you haven't had much response yet but it's a quiet time I think. Although our family ended up coming to us through a private agency, both at birth, we did go through two ACS homestudies for adoption and foster-to-adopt. From our training, we learned that with older children there is a long transition period so you would be able to get ready for the specific children you are matched with. Most kids, however, would not come with much and it would be upto the family they are placed with to provide for their needs at the time of placement. I hope the process goes smoothly for you. Keep us updated!!!

Hi Jody! My husband and I just added a 9 year old girl and her 6 year old bio brother to our family in the ACFS system. We are delighted, fulfilled, exhausted, overwhelmed, and very very busy! (our 3 year old was adopted as an infant from the same system) If you are sure this is what you want for your family, I say go for it with your eyes very wide open! Do all the research you can, especially the MOST RECENT research on attachment. We first heard about these kids at Thanksgiving, said 'yes' after the weekend, and then didn't hear anything until the second week in November. We met them on Nov 22, and they were placed in our home on Dec 1!!! Although at first their foster home seemed great, and we expected them to arrive with most things we thought would be 'theirs', they ended up coming with lots of clothing that was too small, and lots of broken toys. We invested a considerable amount of money in the first few weeks - yes, beds, bedding, clothing, school fees and supplies, food, and lots of other bits and pieces. We wanted to give them nice, new things - which they appreciated - but they're still attached to a lot of stuff they brought with them (understandable!) Our biggest challenge has been dealing with the way they had been parented, their relationship with their foster parents, and helping our three year old adjust to this instand family! We are having a blast, learning as we go, and we'd do it again in a second! (I should add that our application was approved in January after six months of paperwork and social workers!) Hope this helps! Gracie

WOW that was incredibly fast placement. Of course there were a lot of months of waiting before that I presume. Did you apply specifically for any children? We have and I just was curious as to the wait. We just submitted our application today so we've got a ways ahead of us, what with still having to take the parent training course and a homestudy. Do you have any recommendations on books about attachment? I've read some things about it, but didn't really get much on it. Thanx so much Gracie for your reply, I appreciate it!

Thank you Tammy, I appreciate the response, I'm okay with waiting for responses, after all, adoptive parents are used to waiting, right? I figured we'd be providing almost everything, it's sounds so fickle to be asking about what they come with, but I just didn't know. I already have people wanting to give me hand-me-downs and we have just started!LOL! Thanx again!

just had to laugh at this one...LOL SO true!!!

At first our application was for any child/sib group under 3. We began our application last June (2005), and were totally approved in January (2006). Our social worker approached us about these kids (9 and 6) in October, which is when we ammended our application to include kids 0-10 years old. From what I understand if you're applying to adopt specific children, the processing depends on the children, and their circumstances. (I heard special needs/older children may take priority) It helps to frequently touch base with whomever your social worker/contact is, and ask lots of questions. There will probably be lots more paperwork ahead, so ask for what else you need to do. We have always taken a respectfully assertive approach with social workers - they have a ridiculous workload, and you want to be their top priority! :) As far as attachment info, I'll try and find a website I was at last month - new, different info that was great, I'm also almost finished reading the book Parenting Your Adopted Child By Andrew Adesman MD, and it is the best information I've received on adoption yet! Let me know if there's any other questions you have! Take care!

Hi Jody, We're in Ontario and adopted our daughter through CAS. We met her through foster relief and had sent in our application just days before meeting her (early July 2004). We put our names forward immediately but because we weren't a racial match (we're CC, she's biracial) were told our chances were slim. We had her again on relief for a week during the summer and got a call at the end of August asking if we would take her as a foster placement for 6-8 weeks, making a decision after that if we wanted to adopt. We said yes immediately and she moved in mid-Sept. Her adoption was finalized in August of 2005. We were initially told that it was a 2 year wait for the classes before the homestudy, so between that news and knowing adopting Shawntay was a slim chance we though we would have some time. We would renovate the kitchen, go on another Caribean vacation, get all sorts of things done. Well, the kitchen is still falling apart, we haven't been on a vacation since she came, and I wouldn't change it for the world. But I would really recommend you get as much done as possible now...even if it's just painting the room a nuetral colour, buying twin beds and having them ready, and doing a good spring cleaning on the house and getting your basement organized. Can you tell these things aren't done at my place?!? We now also have a new bio baby boy, so there's no chance of it all getting done! Best of luck...things can move really quickly! It was life exploded for us when she came...in so many ways! Allana