Birthmother fails to return adopted toddlers!

Now that we finally have the amended birth certificate (after finding out that our application went missing for almost a year), we plan to ask the SSA to issue a new SSN for our daughter. We are certain that her number and identification will be used (or sold) for criminal purposes because identity theft was reported to be one of the birthfamily "businesses". My secret worries are more about my daughter being stolen. I think now that I should have changed her names so her original documents wouldn't look so genuine to someone like a pre-school teacher's aide or playground attendant.

This article reminds us that this kind of thing is very, very rare: [URL="http://www.charlotte.com/mld/charlotte/16336189.htm"]Charlotte.com | 12/28/2006 | 10:33 am | Twins and birth mom still missing [/URL]Of course, that article was written before the children were found.Rare or not, this story is so very sad. My heart breaks for those children. :(

I have been following this story and I wondered why it did not get more prominent mention in the news section of this site. Of course I know open adoption is highly encouraged here, but this example (as rare as it may be) is exactly what would scare adopting parents away from open adoption.My cousin adopted a baby through a closed adoption, but their attorney failed to black line the address when the document went to the b-mom for signing: five years later she showed up at their house, and was arrested for trying to lure the little girl out of the yard and into a waiting van to "go meet her brothers and sisters" -- all six of whom had been adopted to different families! Before she got out of jail my cousins and moved to a new home in a new school district and gotten an unlisted phone.I have recently adopted my daughter's son. His birth father contested the adoption and lost. He knows where I live, what kind of car I drive, what my regular routine is and where the child goes to school. My house is for sale, my car is for sale, I have changed grocery stores, hairdressers and churches and I am looking for a new preschool for him. If it were possible I would move to a new community, but I have elderly relatives here who rely on me. Maybe I am paranoid, but "just because you are paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you!"

It didn't get more mention because adding news to our site is a manual process, handled by a person who works normal business hours.Additionally, all of the news stories featuring adoption get the exact same amount of space on our site - no adoption story deserves more 'face time' - they all get the same.Adoption.com doesn't support one type of adoption over the other - we just support adoption, regardless of domestic, international, waiting child, open, closed, semi-open/closed or kinship.Adoption.com doesn't have a position on what type is better/worse - only that we are pro-adoption!

[url=http://www.charlotte.com/mld/charlotte/news/breaking_news/16357556.htm]Charlotte.com | 12/31/2006 | Court fight frustrated mom, sister says[/url]This talks about her unexpected illness during pregnancy(which was invitro) and asking for them back just hours after she placed them.I support open adoption whole heartedly but I do not support refusal to give them back MERE hours after placement.I could not live with myself if I kept a child who was voluntarily placed and then shortly revolked and I sure would not think much of my adoptive parent's either.I do not like seeing this case associated with open adoption at all.JMO,but there are many guilty parties here and open adoption is Not one of them.

Well put!!

I agree wholeheartedly.

I was just reading about this article on another forum community. The reaction there was very different than the reaction here. A couple of people said, "I hope they never find them." And they really ripped into the a-parents.Of course, at the end, someone mentioned that the children were the real victims, and everyone agreed with that. A few people also noted that there was no way all the facts were being put into the articles. No one mentioned that maybe the b-mom had psychological issues; they all assumed the a-parents were at fault. Just a different way of looking at things. I hope the twins end up in a family where they are loved and can get over the turmoil of their early lives.:hippie:

Another note: due to legal proceedings, the adoption has never been finalized. This is 100% not a case of open adoption issues and 100% a case of unethical practices combined with a custody dispute.

Well, I don't know enough to say that there were unethical practices here or not, but I will say that there is NO justification (here or in the case of divorces, etc.) for the birth mom to take the kids out of the jurisdiction. I am sure she is very frustrated with the court system, but you just can't do that obviously. It does stink though because this will be great "fodder" for people to blast open adoptions, when in fact open adoption is not the culprit here.

The plot thickens...[URL="http://motherhooddeleted.blogspot.com/"]Motherhood Deleted[/URL]It's really hard to get a grip on the facts of this case.

This case was on Nancy Grace this evening (I was hoping to see a feature about another adoption fiasco), and I got a completely different picture. It seemed to me as though the birthmother is a bit on the mentally unstable side. Of course, Nancy's style of "reporting" may have had a lot to do with it. Sounds like a mess!

I just wanted to add my :clap: to this. I couldn't have said it better myself.

There has to be a lot more here than what has been reported. The Birth mom' s sister said that she relinquished because she was ill, and has since spent $400K trying to get them back. If she had that kind of money, why did she not hire a nanny? And, why did her family not try to help her out while she was ill? I cannot imagine someone going through the expense and pain of invitro to just place the kids because she is sick. And, what about the pacement agency? Just seems they would have advised her to get help before placing. Anyway, we will probably never know the real details, but it would probably make a good novel. Kay

Why would you go through the process of invitro just to end up placing your babies for adoption? I would really question what state the mother was in while making that decision. Then again I would seriously question her motives for taking the children out of country without permission during a legal process that she seems so invested in. If she was truly determined to get her kids back she would have done everything by the book and with legal councel at her side. She clearly at least in this instance is not behaving in a mentally healthy way. I do believe she should be charged with kidnapping and that she should loose custody of the children and allow for the children to finally be adopted. regardless of what happened in the past....wether the adoptive parents were right or wrong for not returning the child hours after she signed her rights away. The children are now 17 months old and bonded with the adoptive family and since the birthmother obviosly will not be getting the children back...it seems it would be in their best interest to remain with the only family/life they know.