Warrant out on birth mom

Because the warrant is for not paying child support (not a violent crime, etc.), I personally would not turn in the biomom. If it was for something violent, then I would. But that's just me. My FD's biomom has warrants out for her because she has violated parole. I have not turned her in because she's a three strike person and even though she is a terrible mother, I don't think she needs life imprisonment for being a drug addict. She's killing herself on her own. I don't know what kind of relationship I could have with FD if she knew I turned biomom in. Now if biomom did something violent or was violent to others, then I would most certainly turn her in.

One of our kids dads always had warrants out on him for all kinds of things. He was always allowed his unsupervised visits.

well, unless she turns herself in or gets caught it sounds like she won't be having any more visits, that and she will likely loose this child as well. So sad. If you know where she is or see her then I would call the police. Your not doing her any favors by prolonging the inevidable. The faster she takes care of the issue the faster she can get her life back together. Which for your fd sake i hope is soon especially if she was doing so well up until this point.

by the way, I have seen parents be arresed who had warrants out on them who came to DHS to visit their children. So yes it most certianly does happen. Infact something similiar happened to my daughters birthfather when we saw him for the first time at court. I remember my first impression of the guy wasn't that great. But after I heard he had been arrested right after court because of a warant....I felt impressed that he would come to claim her as his child....knowing that he'd be walking away in hand cuffs.

Just from personal experience of my (biological) daughter's very dead-beat father, most courts take the position that child support and visitation are two different issues.A lawyer told me that despite a parent being in arrears for support, both child and parent have the right to see one another. My former husband was over five thousand behind on our daughter when his rights were terminated. He owes over 60,000 thousand for another set of children he fathered. He still had a right to see our daughter until he surrendered his parental rights.

Reminder - We do not allow the use of "sperm donor" when discussing birth fathers. You may use that in your personal life - which is fine - but we don't allow it here. Excessive moderation can result in a ban of your account.I have edited ONE post on this thread.

How sad it is. Something so simple and so mitigating can cause a family to fall apart forever. birthmom is in a very tough spot. Doesn't want to go to jail, wants to see her kid but can't do both? The child suffers, the mother suffers. Mom becomes a fugitive with no foreseeable way out which just digs her in deeper. Very sad.

My FD's biomom is a drug addict. According to her, nothing is ever her fault. I am keeping her from her daughter, not the fact that she has never passed a drug test or gone to parenting classes in five years, or has ever given one dime to her daughter. FD is starting to see biomom in a true light now that she is 16. But of course she feels trapped in loyalty to her biomom. If I turned in biomom with her warrants, guess whose "fault" it would be? Would it be biomom's for not taking care of parole, etc. (Logically of course it is her problem and I had nothing to do about it.) But according to biomom, it would be my fault, etc., and she would wrap that around my FD's head every chance she had. That is why I would not turn in her biomom for the parole warrants. The system will certainly catch up with her eventually and I will just stand there. Her biomom has not moved and frankly I'm amazed that she hasn't been picked up herself already. Now if there was violence or something else involved, I would just call the police and let the chips land where they may. She's got warrants for not following through with drug testing and parole.

just my thoughts on the matter.you are not responsible for the bmom,or her needs.put the childs needs first,someone needs to,because obviously the bparent does not.

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]I am a birthmom and I don't think I agree with you. I understand that "she's killing herself on her own", but what happens if while she's killing herself, she kills or hurts someone else?

I had a very close friend that was an active alcoholic (he is now in recovery for over 5 years) and he used to drive while he was drunk, even had his kids in the car with him. Now I cared about this person very much, but it never occurred to me to think about the other people that he could hurt while he was out there. I finally realized that my child, my friend, a family member, and even a stranger could be hurt by his behavior. So by not turning him in when he drove drunk, I was putting so many people at risk.

As a birthmom, but even more as a parent, if this birthparent is actively doing drugs and is a danger to herself and others, turn her in if you see her or know where she is. Before she can hurt someone else. Your child may not understand it right now, but with time and explanations she should come to see that you were trying to protect her birthmother and everyone else.

These are just my thoughts and opinions. Sorry to offend anyone.

Thanks for listening. :prop: [/FONT]

I'd agree with you, Texas Puppy, if there were any indications of substance abuse that was putting others at risk.But when the problem is unpaid child support---as it is for the OP---I wouldn't turn the mom in. It's about the kids more than the adults for me: kids need to be seeing their parents, no matter what financial messes the parents are in.

Well I talked to caseworker today. She was back from vacation. I called her this morning and she had no idea what i was talking about when i called and said what is going on with C's mom. She is like I have no idea. Then I proceeded to tell her that she did not come for visit and so and she is like Wow, I did not know any of this. Let me do some digging and see what I can find out. She called me back and she talked to C's mom and she is going to turn herself in on Monday after her post partem visit with doctor. She said she will be going to jail for 120 days which is what she was initially told if she did not pay money. So I do not know if it could be longer because she did not appear in court or if it could be suspended due to not being room in our county jail. I am taking C to agency tomorrow so he can visit with her for an hour monitored before she turns herself in. His sibling will be staying with who she is living with now which is a reliable person. I have met with her and talked with her different times. She is very nice and is actually a nurse so I can see her taking good care of baby. C's mom wants us to try to keep contact between C and his baby brother while she is in jail which I said I would be willing to do. I figured if she serves 120 days she will be getting out December 20 so she is going to be beind on everything again now. If an apartment comes open, she is going to lose it. I kind of feel bad for her in a way.

C got to have an hour visit with mom today at agency with caseworker in attendance before she turns herself in on Monday. The lady who is going to be taking care of baby talked with me and we exchanged e-mail and cell numbers so to keep contact between the two boys and I told her I would help her out as far as watching the baby. She said she would probably give me a call to help her out. We have a festival going on in town and so I have seen bio mom every night. It is Thurs-Sat. It is not that I mind running in to her, she never causes a problem or anything. It is just awkward because I have to say well I got to go. Last night, she played a game for him and won him a toy and tonight she had his pic taken with his brother to go on one of those posters. It is just that I can tell when he is with her and her family, he is not happy. He does not cry or anything, he just does not smile or get excited like he does with us. As soon as he sees me or my husband, he gets all excited. When he was getting his picture taken in there, he looked out at me and smiled. I did not tell her either that he has been saying mama. I did not want to hurt her feelings. I figured if he said it in front of her that was okay but if not, I would not say anything. Does anyone else run in to bio parents or even have a good relationship with them? I feel that me and bio mom do. We get along fine and after meeting her mom, I know why she is the way she is. Oh and bio dad showed up while me and bio mom were talking and we both were just like what is he going to do. He is always high on drugs and he is on probation and has drug charges against him. He just came up and said how is daddy's boys and kissed C and took off. I was so glad when he left. He is the one I get worried about.